Shallow River

He needs to go away.

“Can you stop stalking me?”

A brow raises at my harsh tone. I don’t care, though. For a second, I almost fell for his shit. I regret every single moment from the library. Talking to him, telling him all my dirty secrets about my past life. Things that Ryan doesn’t even know yet.

That was three weeks ago now, and it makes me feel dirty. Like I cheated. In a sense, I suppose I did. I still haven’t confessed to Ryan about that day, and I never will. That’ll be something I take with me to the grave.

Especially because he’d be the one to send me there if he found out.

And I’m glad I didn’t say anything, either, or that night might’ve gone differently. Ryan made love to me and doted on me all

night. Never asked for anything in return, though I was more than happy to return the favor anyway. And ever since, we’ve been perfect.

We’ve come home to each other in high spirits, laughed and joked, had at-home movie nights where we fed each other popcorn, and ending in a pillow fights and making love. He’s spoiled me, cuddled me, ran me candlelit baths, and expressed his vulnerable feelings towards me. We’ve both opened up more to each other, and he actually listened when I told him about Shallow Hill and the men there. No judgement, and only sympathy and understanding.

He’s a whole new man, and I’ve never been more in love.

“I want you to leave me alone,” I continue. “Despite what you think you know about me, I’m happy with Ryan.”

Mako purses his lips, and something akin to disappointment flashes in his eyes. It’s gone before I can tell for sure.

“Did he whisper sweet nothings to you all night, and promise to never hurt you again?”

I bristle at his condescending words. A visceral anger is thrumming through me again. Someone shouldn’t be able to make me so angry so quickly. Clearly, that’s a sign. How could I think to listen to someone who does nothing but piss me off? Mako doesn’t have my best interest at heart, he only cares about satisfying his own. Which is doing everything in his power to make sure Ryan is suffering.

“You don’t know anything,” I hiss, my eyes flaring with undisguised hate.

“I know more than he does.” I flinch, my eyes widening in shock.

“Did you just throw everything I told you back in my face?”

“No. I’m just stating facts,” he responds dryly. His face is a blank mask. No emotion shines through his eyes.

I take a step towards him. “The only thing you care about is getting back at Ryan. I don’t know what the hell he’s ever done to deserve your hatred, but don’t bring that shit to my doorstep. I don’t care what you think you know, you’re wrong.”

Mako just stares, something akin to shock registering on his face.

“Is that what he told you? That I hate him?”

I slash a hand through the air, cutting off anything else he has to say. “I’m done talking to you. Leave me alone, Mako. Or I’ll tell Ryan you’re following me,” I threaten.

He laughs. Actually fucking laughs.

“I wouldn’t mind if you did,” he says around a grin. His face lights up with a cold and merciless amusement at the threat. It makes me feel cold.

I walk away. There’s no point in responding. He got the message loud and fucking clear.

“I SEE YOU’RE STILL a piece of shit,” I observe dryly.

Barbie snarls from before me, her greasy black hair hanging in stringy clumps. She smells fucking horrid. Like a shit stain and expired milk.

“Fuck off, River.”

“Do you have rent?” I ask in place of a smart response.

Be superior, River. Though I could walk in with five-day old clothes and without a shower for even longer, and I’d still accomplish that small feat.

She reaches into the pocket of her stained, hole-riddled sweatpants and angrily slaps crumpled dirty bills on the table. Her palm catches a syringe. It pops up, twirls in the air and topples back on the table. The tinkling lets me know it rolled off the table and onto the floor. She doesn’t bother picking it up.