Speechless. I’m absolutely speechless. I had already blamed myself for putting myself in that situation, but I certainly didn’t ask for it. And I sure as hell didn’t deserve it.
“You also turned down a rape kit. And you know what that tells me, River?” He doesn’t give me time to answer. “It tells me you fucked someone and don’t want to get caught.”
I blanch, my eyes widening with disbelief.
“Is that what you believe, Ryan? You think I went out and asked for any of this?”
“So, you admit you fucked someone?” he shouts, his spine snapping straight.
“No!” I protest angrily.
“Then why not get the rape kit?”
“Because I wasn’t raped!”
“How do you know? You said you don’t remember.”
“Because I’d be able to fucking know if someone hurt me down there!”
“Fucking liar!” he screams, right before his hand whips out backhands me across the face. The pain doesn’t register at first. I’m in too much shock.
No—my boyfriend couldn’t have just hit me when I’ve already been beaten half to death. No—not when he loves me.
But the pain does come for me, and it hurts. Everything hurts, including the goddamn muscle inside my chest that keeps getting me in these situations.
How could he treat me like this? How could he hurt me? And why can’t I be able to tell my truth to my boyfriend, and be comfortable and confident that he won’t blame me? That he won’t hit me?
I had no idea Billy was even going to be there. As much as he likes to call me a ghost, he doesn’t show up to that house but a few times a year. Usually Barbie goes to him. He caught us both by surprise.
“I don’t believe you,” he hisses, not even a miniscule amount of remorse reflected in his darkened eyes.
“Why?” I demand pitifully.
“Because you’re a liar. Mako was the one that found you and brought you in. How did that happen, River? Is he the one you fucked? Maybe you didn’t go to Shallow Hill at all. Maybe you let that piece of shit fuck you and he decided to beat you, too. Wouldn’t fucking surprise me.”
Hypocrite.
But there’s the accusation I was waiting for. I knew he’d somehow involve Mako in this. I knew he’d assume I’m cheating on him with his brother. I knew it was coming, yet the accusation pisses me off to high heaven anyway.
“I was just driving and pulled over. I had no idea it was his house. It was… coincidence.”
A high-pitched, crazed laugh bursts out of his throat.
“Coincidence?” he repeats shrilly. “I doubt that. I knew you had a thing for him the moment you met him. You’re a goddamn whore, River.”
“I am not!” I screech. I’m just—I’m just so fucking tired of being called a whore!
“You are,” he growls. “He likes to call himself my brother, but he’s not. He’s a fraud pretending to play the part.”
His words make no sense.
“If I find out you fucked him, I will kill you, River. Do you hear me? I will fucking slit your throat.” His eyes are wild, hair a mess as if he pulled at it, and his clothes askew. He looks unhinged.
Before I can muster a reply, he storms off towards the front door. His keys are swiped off the table by the door, and he’s slamming it shut behind him a second later.
“Don’t leave me like this!” I scream. I scream, and scream, and scream. He doesn’t come back. Not even an hour later, while I’m still stuck on the couch.
I’m wet and my skin is extremely irritated, my broken ribs are probably cracked even further based off how little I can breathe, my lip is bleeding and I’m fucking miserable. This is what dying feels like.