Shallow River

Not yours, though?

“The mother should always be the one to raise the kids. I’ll help, of course. I don’t want them to grow up as pussies.”

It takes an extreme amount of effort to curb the urge to roll my eyes. It’s easier to agree with him right now than to argue while we’re in public. Whatever makes the fucker happy.

I shrug a shoulder. “Okay,” I agree like a good bitch.

He smiles, proud that I’m agreeing with his sexist views. I want to crack my knuckles into his nose, over and over, until I’m drenched in his blood. Even then, I wouldn’t be satisfied.

Just as I’m finishing my glass of wine, he stands and adjusts his pants, his movements fidgety and stiff. My brow pulls into a deep V when he walks around the table and grabs my hand. I nearly recoil when I feel how sweaty his hand is.

Why are you so nervous, sweet Ryan?

The entire restaurant gasps, and a hush falls across the room as Ryan gets down on one knee and produces a black box from his pocket.

My eyes widen, shock stealing my breath. This is the only moment Ryan wouldn’t mind me looking a fish out of water.

“River McAllister, you are the love of my life. My heart beats inside of your chest, and I can’t live without that. Will you do me the honor of marrying me?”

After his corny one-liner, he opens the box, showcasing a massive, gaudy ring. It’s a band of diamonds with one large circular diamond in the middle, encrusted by a ring of yellow stones. I hate circular diamonds. I also hate colored diamonds. Especially yellow. Who wants a yellow diamond?

I make a show of covering my mouth, which curls into a snarl beneath the hand that still has a cast on my pointer finger. A cast caused by him. I widen my eyes dramatically and think about how much time I wasted on this piece of shit. He’s proposing to me the same day he fucked another woman.

How poetic of you, sweet Ryan.

Tears prick at my eyes, except in mirth instead of pure elation.

It’s not smart to say no to him here. He’ll be embarrassed. Absolutely mortified. And he’ll kill me before I have the chance to escape. The bastard already knows I’ll say yes.

It takes an extreme amount of discipline that I didn’t know I possessed not to laugh in his face. There’s only one way I can think of to get through this shitshow. Shamefully, I picture Mako. Mako on his knee before me, grinning at me with that cocky smirk and grass green eyes glistening with love.

Mako—the incredibly infuriating man whose done nothing but stick his neck out for me and try to help me. And though most times I want to wring his neck, I can’t deny the underlying, intense connection to him. Especially not after the library, where I bared myself to Mako, and fingerfucked myself while he watched and got off.

That reminder brings a genuine smile to my face. It’s all I need to say what I need to say next.

“Yes!” I exclaim, casting a mask of happiness on my face. In reality, it only took me a few seconds to reply. His shoulder drops in relief and his face breaks out into a blinding smile, showing off his perfect white teeth. Teeth I’d love nothing more than to see decorating our pristine floors.

He slips the ugly ring on my finger, the ring complimenting my white cast mockingly. I spread my hand out wide, smiling on the outside and raging on the inside. This is what my life has come to. An ugly engagement ring and a broken finger.

At least he was considerate enough not to break my ring finger.

We both stand, the metal contraption burning my

finger with a fiery vengeance. I want to rip it off, I hate the way it feels. His lips touch mine, quick and passionless. Ryan doesn’t do PDA well. I’d like to fuck someone in a dirty public restroom just to spite him.

The restaurant cheers respectfully, phones flash, and a complimentary bottle of wine is sent to our table. I drink three-fourths of it while Ryan stares at my hand like he’s finally caught the exotic animal in his sadistic trap. I stare at him and wonder why he thought I would want to be proposed to in a goddamn restaurant.

“FUCK, I LOVE YOU so much,” Ryan moans against my neck. We’re in the same position we were in after I met his parents for the first time. Except this time, I want him to get the fuck off me. I’m stiff and unresponsive, my face curling with discomfort.

“I love you, too, but babe, I don’t want to do this right now,” I say, pushing his bare chest back a bit. He stops cold, dragging his soulless eyes up to mine.

“Why wouldn’t you want to?” his voice is devoid of emotion. A spark of anxiety ignites inside me, like the first spark of fire on a cold, winter night.

“I’ve been having cramps all day. I think my period is starting soon,” I lie. If he knew me at all, he’d know I don’t have a period with my birth control.

“I don’t mind a little blood,” he says. My nose inadvertently curls in disgust. I’d probably fuck someone on my period if I wanted them badly enough, but that person will never be Ryan again. Not when he’s a cheating asshole.

Yet I’m somehow the whore.