Shallow River

I tilt my head to the side and study him closely. His dirty blonde hair is stuck to his head with sticky sweat. The shady blues eyes that are windows to a dark and decrepit soul. And his full lips that house too-straight teeth and a wicked tongue. His skin is drained of all color, and slick with perspiration. I’ve never seen Ryan look so dirty and unkempt. That alone brings me satisfaction.

He thinks we’ll have no choice but to let him go. That maybe we’ll try to work out a deal for his silence. He’ll ask for something substantial—probably impossible, and we’ll plead for him to never speak of this.

It was a mistake, I got angry, I didn’t mean to cause you so much harm.

And then he’ll once again have power over me and his big brother. It’ll make the pain he endured worth it.

Yeah.

Not going to happen.

I don’t bargain with rapists and abusers. I’d rather hurt them.

I shrug a shoulder nonchalantly, causing the slow victorious smile on Ryan’s face to slip. “I’m not worried about it.”

Except I am. Just a little. Not that I have much of a life worth living. I’d go to prison for this for sure, especially with Matt as Ryan’s father. Shit, Ryan could put me away with just himself anyway. To be honest, I’d end up just killing myself, taking the coward’s way out. What would be the point in living? I’ve never really had one to begin with. I’m certainly not going to find it within the confines of a dir

ty prison cell with my new wife undressing me with her eyes from the top bunk.

But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t blast my abuse before I do. I’m sure Alison would back me up. Mako too. Ryan’s reputation will burn in the same flames I go down in.

Together forever, baby.

“You should be,” he chides, tsking at me. I roll my eyes in response. He rears back in disgust at my childish response. I walk over to grab my favorite box leaning against the wall, pull out a Girl’s Scout cookie and take a bite, munching on the sinful treat with a bored expression.

“Do you realize how many people are going to be looking for me? You’re suspect number one. Especially if you tell people I hit you. The more you make me out to be the villain, the worse you’ll look.”

I frown. “Who said I’m going to make you out to be the villain?” He falters, momentarily confused by my admission. He expected me to cry wolf. “I’ll act like the loving, doting girlfriend that I’ve been the last two years. I’ll cry my little eyes out and mourn your death. But when I’m alone, I’ll make myself cum every time I think about the fact that you’re six feet under and I was the one who put you there.”

Ryan’s eyes widen gradually as I speak. By the time I’m done, he’s shaking. Realization has hit that I’m not interested in kissing his blue little toes and begging for forgiveness. The asshole is rattling like a bare tree in winter winds. Any minute now, he’ll be ripped from the ground and blow straight into a fucking woodchipper.

“You will fucking pay for this, River. So will you,” he spits, swinging his simmering glare to Mako. Neither of us deign him a response. Giving him any type of assurance or satisfaction would certainly keep me up at night after this is all said and done. Never mind the torture and killing—knowing that he found even the smallest thing to hold onto in his last days would have me tossing and turning all night.

I need my beauty sleep, considering I got so little of it in the duration of our relationship. He owes me that much.

“Aren’t you sickened by this?” Ryan shrieks in bewilderment, staring at Mako as if he grew fins and is reverting to the fish he was named after.

Truthfully, I don’t expect Mako to want me anymore. I’ve shown the depths of my depravity. I’ve made it more than clear that I’m the furthest thing from remorseful about my actions. Actually, I’ve made it clear that I’m enjoying it, too.

Mako’s too… good. And the thought of losing something like that before I’ve ever had it hurts. But I can deal with it. I’ll recover and if I somehow get away with this, I’ll live the rest of my life with Mako tucked into the back corner of my brain, only to come out when my vibrator is resting on my clit.

Said man just curls his arms across his chest and cocks a brow in boredom. “I’m a detective. I’ve seen worse. And I also know exactly how to cover up a murder,” he reminds.

“Why would you want to help a psychopath, Mako? You know she’s going to kill you next.”

“I’m growing bored of your lackluster bargaining skills. How are you a lawyer?” I cut in. If I’m being honest, I don’t want that seed to plant in Mako’s head. I’ve accepted the fact that he won’t want me, but that doesn’t mean I want him to think I’m the same type of monster as his brother.

“Let’s just get this over with, River, yeah?” Mako says. I try to pick apart his tone, find any type of emotion in there. But he’s completely devoid of it, and I’m not sure how to interpret that.

“First,” I announce. “Who’s the Ghost Killer, Ryan?”

I already know who it is, but I’d prefer it coming from Ryan’s mouth. I still haven’t figured out how I’m going to approach that situation. Eventually, I’d have to tell Mako the truth. He won’t forgive me for holding onto that secret. Even now, I’m not sure what’s stopping me. What would my psychology books say?

Oh, yeah. That I’m terrified of Billy. Billy is my proverbial kidnapper. He trapped me in a house, brainwashed me to believe that if I escape, I’m going to die, and then left me in the house alone with the door wide open.

I’m too scared to walk out that door, in fear that Billy will be right there waiting for me.

Ryan tips his head back and laughs. Laughs and laughs, his voice scratchy and hoarse. “Like I’d ever fucking tell you that,” he cackles, the sound manic and unhinged. “You’ll never fucking know who it is, and he’s been right under your nose the entire time.”