Shallow River

I offer a soft smile. “Already taken care of.”

Mako’s hands drop and his head slowly rises. When our eyes clash, I’m thrown back by the look on his face. Sure, he looks just as tired as I do, but I’ve never seen Mako look so resolute.

“How?”

I shrug a shoulder, feigning nonchalance when I feel anything but. “I tried to escape. Ryan was watching me constantly through the cameras, everywhere I was in the house and keeping tabs on me. So, I cut the WiFi. We’d already been having issues with it going out, and as long as the WiFi was out, he couldn’t watch me on his phone.

“He caught me, and we got in a really massive fight. I managed to overpower him when I slashed his chest open, and then knocked him out. I drugged him with Rohypnol, dragged him to the attic and the rest is history. The internet is still out, even now. None of that will have been recorded and saved to the Cloud.”

Mako stares at me with disbelief. When he processes my words, his eyes slowly turn to a darker moss color.

“Why the fuck was there Rohypnol in the house?” he asks slowly, his deep voice dropping an octave lower.

My lip slides between my teeth, and I look away. It’s not my fault my boyfriend drugged and raped me, but I feel so much shame anyway. The memory of waking up with semen dried on my thigh, my body sore and battered, and no memory of any of it happening still sends shudders down my spine.

I should probably find myself a therapist. An expensive one, at that.

“He used it on me before.”

I refuse to meet his burning eyes. Sensing I don’t want to talk about it, he sighs and changes the subject. “Call Dad,” he says, his voice hollow and tired. It matches nicely with the way I look. My shoulders drop in relief, and I’m more grateful than I’ll ever say that he let it go.

Ryan’s already dead. Getting angry right now will only be exhausting at this point.

“I don’t want you involved in this anymore, Mako. Really. All your morals just went down the drain because of me. I’m not risking you getting caught and I refuse to ruin your life like that,” I say sternly.

“No fucking way are you doing this by yourself, River. Not happening.”

My shoulders tense, hiking to my ears. Venom is injected in my tone when I say, “I don’t need—”

“—me to save you, yeah I got it the first ten times you said it, sweetheart.” I bristle, heat rising into my cheeks with indignation. Right as my mouth opens, he cuts me off again. “To be frank, River, I’m not asking. The truth is, you did us both a favor by getting rid of Ryan. So, I’m going to do you a favor and make sure you pretty little ass stays out of prison. Now, please, for the love of god, call my dad.” By the time he reaches the end of his sentence, his tone turns hard and impatient, and he looks at me with pleading eyes.

All I can do is stare at him in shock, eyes wide and mouth parted. For reasons I’m not ready to face yet, I pull my phone out of my pocket and dial Matt’s number without another word. Mako resumes his previous position, though I get the feeling it’s because he wants to hide from this conversation.

I have to call a rapist. Someone who hurt a little boy repeatedly. And act like nothing is wrong. Like he’s not a piece of shit pedophile and I didn’t just murder his son.

“Fitzgerald,” Matt answers sleepily. I picture him flipping on the light on his nightstand, while Julie blearily lifts her head up, wondering why her husband is getting a late night call. The greeting makes my lip tremble. Hearing his voice makes my entire body seize with disgust.

Swallowing, I open my mouth and do the hardest thing I ever had to do. Mourn Ryan’s disappearance. “Hey, Matt, it’s River,” I say, my voice trembling.

There’s a brief pause, filled with confusion and trepidation, before Matt bounces back, sounding more alert. “River! So nice to hear from you. Is everything okay?”

My eyes close when I hear the question. It’s a simple question really, but yet has the most complicated answer.

“Uhh, I’m not sure actually, Matt,” I reply, keeping my worried tone. “Look, I’m really sorry to call you so late, but Friday night, Ryan said he had to go out of town for work. He didn’t say where he was going, but”—I break off, letting tears accumulate and bleed into my voice— “he was supposed to be home already. H-he’s not answering my texts or calls. I’m just really worried about him.” I end the tone with a sniffle, real tears tracking down my face.

By now, Mako’s head has already lifted and he’s staring at me with something between surprise and awe. All I had to do is let myself feel. Let myself face the fact that the man I thought I was in love with turned out to be nothing more than Satan himself. Apple doesn’t fall to far from the fucking tree.

“Uh—well, a work meeting, huh? Well, honey, I’m sure he just got stopped for the night at a hotel or something. I’ll see if I can get ahold of him. If we don’t hear anything from him by tomorrow morning, I’ll make some calls, okay? Just try not to worry, I’m sure Ryan is safe and sound.”

Mako grimaces while I bite the inside of my cheek hard. I sniffle, and make myself sound extra pathetic when I say, “Okay, Matt. Thank you so much. Let me know if you hear anything.”

“Okay, honey, I will. Goodnight now.”

I hang up the phone and loose a harsh breath. Speaking to Matt was especially hard.

A lot harder than murdering my own boyfriend.

Twenty One