I know exactly the one she means. “I don’t want to wear that,” I hiss.
Stop arguing, she snaps. Time’s wasting. She nudges at my mind, and before I know it I have given in and put the dress she wanted and a few other things, including makeup, into my satchel.
I find Storm prowling outside my room, his fists stuffed into his pockets. He raises an eyebrow. “Want a lift to work?” he asks.
I wouldn’t have minded a lift, but the little voice insists that it is best to get rid of him asap. I shake my head. “I’ll be fine. And it’s out of your way.”
We walk down the stairs side-by-side in an awkward silence. I no longer know what to say to him. The little voice has made me feel we are on opposing sides, the last thing I wanted. Outside my building, he surprises me by giving me a hug. It is warm and delicious and over far too quickly.
“Promise to stay out of trouble?” he says to me.
“I will if you will,” I say.
He ruffles my hair affectionately. “I should have known better than to ask. You promise to see Beatrice and ask her for an appointment?”
“I promise,” I say.
He seems relieved.
“Hey,” I say, stopping him as he turns away. I touch his black eye briefly. “I’m sorry about this.”
“I’ve had worse.”
He hops down the front steps and gets into his car and waves me goodbye before he drives off. I watch until he is gone. Then I flag down a cab, knowing I am spending my last reserves of money. I might as well. It’s all or nothing now.
The cab drops me off outside the catering offices. I scan my employee pass at the entrance, but they have already deactivated it. I am unable to get in. I bang on the door until someone comes to let me in. To my relief it is Ben. He looks happy to see me.
“Please can you let me in?” I tell him. “I need to beg Smithers for my job back.”
“I thought I wouldn’t see you again,” he says a little sulkily.
“Sorry, Ben. There’s been so much going on that I’ve had to deal with lately. I shouldn’t have left without saying goodbye.”
He looks disappointed at this, and I realize my mistake.
I slap him playfully on the arm. “Not forever-goodbye!”
He laughs. He walks me to Smithers’s office door and wishes me good luck before leaving. I stand outside the closed door, feeling reluctant to knock. I really thought I would never have to see him again.
You want me to do this part, says the little voice. Trust me.
It takes a few moments of uncertainty before I give in to the fact that she is right. I’ll probably fail miserably. The very moment I decide that I should let her be in charge, it happens very quickly. I feel a change in my mind, as if she is slipping into the front seat, and I am being pushed into the back. She slips into my body as easily as if it is hers, which always feels slightly weird. Like going numb. Like being just an onlooker.
I am freaking out a little already, even though I know I can take control back if I really want to. She might fight me sometimes, but I always win in the end.
Yeah whatever, she says. Stop being so smug, and be glad you have me to help you out in times like this.
She unbuttons the top three buttons of my shirt. She looks down and I can see far too much of my breasts and even a little of my bra on show.
What are you doing? I hiss.
Relax, she says. I’ve got this.
She knocks, rat-a-tat-tat, loudly and confidently on Smithers’s door, and then without even waiting for a response, she turns the handle and strolls right in. Her hips are swaying and her arms swinging as if she hasn’t a care in the world.
Inside the office, Smithers is at his desk, peering at something on his computer screen. Rosalie is beside him, her hand on his shoulder. She is leaning over him, her face pushed almost right up next to his. They both look up at me. I don’t know who is more surprised.
“What are you doing here?” Rosalie demands.