Storm, Leo and DI Zael leave the hospital, intent now on intensifying the hunt for Rachel’s murderer. Or in DI Zael’s case probably intent on proving that India is the murderer.
I linger outside of India’s room until the Agency officer that Storm had assigned arrives to take his post outside India’s room. DI Zael had insisted that one of his police officers must be there at all times too, and the guy arrives shortly afterwards.
I introduce myself to them both. By the aloof disinterested manner of Zael’s officer, I’ve no doubt that he is there more to keep India prisoner than to protect her. I leave the two officers standing apart on either side of India’s door, neither of them talking to the other.
I go down to the hospital café to see if I can find any snacks to tempt India’s appetite. Her nurse had told me that India is a vegetarian. I come back up with some fruit and some chocolate-coated corn cakes, figuring that India probably likes to eat healthily. When I pop my head inside of India’s door, I find that she is propped up against her pillows, staring blankly at the wall.
“Want some company?” I ask her.
She nods, and I go in, shutting the door on the two officers, and pull a chair closer to India’s bed. I offer her the snacks, and when she shakes her head, I put them down on her bedside table.
“My foster parents haven’t come yet,” she says in a voice that trembles no matter how casually she tries to say it. “They must be here in London right? Have you seen them?”
She looks at me searchingly. I don’t know what to say. I had overheard Storm mentioned that he’d interviewed them. Which means they are here in London. I don’t know why they haven’t come to visit her.
It makes me angry. If they had cared they would have come. But I can’t say that to her. I don’t want to upset her even more.
“Maybe they aren’t allowed to visit you until the Agency has interviewed you?” I suggest lightly.
She shakes her head. Tears leak out of the corners of her eyes and down her cheeks, ruining her efforts to pretend that everything is okay. She angrily wipes them away. “It’s because they think I did it. It’s because they think I did that to Rachel.”
“If they think that then you don’t need them here. You’re better off without them.”
She looks stricken. “But I don’t want them to think it! I need to tell them it’s not true. It can’t be true.”
“It’ll be okay,” I say. “Storm says we need to keep an open mind until we know all the facts. He will have told them that. They can’t blame you for this.”
“That police guy thinks I did it too. I could tell.”
“Detective Inspector Zael. Don’t let him get to you.”
She bites her lip worriedly. She is twisting her fingers in her lap roughly enough to make me wince. It looks painful.
“It’s true though, isn’t it? What you said? Rachel really is dead?”
She looks like she desperately doesn’t want to believe it, and when I nod, she gives a little cry of shock.
“You said… You said she’d been stabbed? Stabbed with a knife?”
I nod again.
“I can’t remember. Why can’t I remember?”
The haunted tone in her voice brings back my own feelings of confusion and loneliness from years ago. Even thinking of it makes me feel sick in the pit of my stomach.
“You have to think about it,” I say urgently. “Think hard while it’s still fresh. You have to find those memories India because if you don’t—”
“You think I’m not trying?” she says, her voice rising in frustration.
“I’ve been where you are. Being told something horrible happened, but only finding a black emptiness in your head every time you try to remember. That emptiness was so frightening. It repelled me. I was too scared to touch it. Too scared to think of it. And so I didn’t think of it. In time I stopped feeling its presence in my mind so much. I got used to it. Don’t get used to it India, or you will never know.”
“I’ll never know what happened?” she says in despair.
“And it will haunt you forever. So you have to keep trying.”
“What happened to you?” she says.
I shake my head, still not wanting to think of it. I don’t want to talk about it. And yet I must, because I need to help her. Her life could depend on it. How is she supposed to know who is after her if she can’t remember his face? How is she supposed to protect herself from the monster who killed her best friend and tried to kill her?