‘I told you’d I’d support you—this wasn’t needed.’
He placed his hand on the newspaper, the movement bringing him closer to her, and she fought hard not to inhale the heady masculine scent that was Nikos.
‘I haven’t written this, and I haven’t had anything to do with it—but I will use my contacts to prove that if you can’t take my word. The only piece I’ve written that is remotely connected with you is about holidaying in Santorini...about the restaurants and the sights.’
She pointed to the printed copy of her article on her small desk, awaiting a final reading before being submitted. He looked at it, then straight back at her, and she saw his guard slip, saw the pain in his eyes. Pain carried through childhood—the kind she too knew about.
He glared at the newspaper, a deep and heavy scowl on his face. Then realisation hit her hard. She had spoken to one person—and said those exact words.
‘I did say that to someone...’ she whispered softly.
He looked at her slowly, disappointment washing over his face. ‘Who?’
‘At the party—I said that to Christos.’
Suspicion filled her mind. Could he be the source of this story?
She put her hand over his as it lay on the paper and, emboldened when he didn’t withdraw it, asked quietly, ‘What happened, Nikos? Please tell me?’
‘As far I am concerned it’s in the past—and that’s where it should stay.’
He pulled his hand back and she felt the moment being lost—especially when he got up and walked to the window and stood looking out at the street.
She moved quietly and walked over to him, leaning against the other side of the window. His profile was set in firm lines and everything about his stance was defensive.
‘I need to know, Nikos. Whoever sold this story, and whatever the outcome for us, that woman is your mother—your child’s grandmother.’
He looked at her, and she inhaled deeply as she saw the naked emotions in his eyes.
‘When I was six she told me she was going away, that she didn’t love my father—or me. She told me I was unlovable.’
Serena’s heart filled with pity for the little boy she imagined him as. How could any woman leave her young son? No wonder he’d been so angry, so against fatherhood. She looked deep into his eyes, offering comfort with hers but not saying anything.
* * *
Nikos was numb. He didn’t see the tall white houses on the opposite side of the street. That image was replaced by the sea and the empty horizon on Santorini as he’d stood and waited each day in the hope that the next boat in to the island would have his mother on it—that she would return saying she’d made a mistake and of course she loved him.
‘If my father had loved her more she would never have left.’
He felt Serena touch his arm, her hand warm through his suit jacket, but it wasn’t enough to pull him from the past. Even the question of who had exposed the story wasn’t important now. All he could see was his mother walking away. All he could feel was the agony of knowing he wasn’t loved.
‘Sometimes it’s better if parents don’t stay together. Maybe that’s what happened with your parents.’
He looked at her, remembering all she’d told him about her childhood. How she felt she was the mistake that had forced her parents to stay together. Was he the mistake that had forced his apart?
‘I have never seen her since.’ The admission made him press his jaw firmly together. It was the first time he’d wanted to talk about her for a very long time. ‘I gave up wishing she’d come back for me. Accepted she didn’t love me.’
‘Nikos...’
She breathed his name and he finally looked at her. Those big green eyes were filling with undisguised tears and he wanted to kiss her, to feel her lips on his, bringing him to life once more with her love. A love he’d rejected. A love he didn’t deserve.
He moved away from her—away from temptation—and as he did so saw again the baby clothes neatly laid out on the sofa. Not only did he not deserve Serena’s love, he didn’t deserve his child’s love either.
‘I wanted to be a better father to my child.’
He spoke harshly, glad of the anger that filled him as he thought of how cold and distant his own father had been and how Serena’s walking away had deprived him of that chance to right the past.
‘And you will be—once we sort things out between us. I may not be able to pay you back the money you gave my sister, but I will never stop you seeing your baby grow up, Nikos. It will be difficult, given that I’m here in London and you are in Greece, but we have to make it work.’