“Yeah, relationships are hard. Sometimes I wonder if that Charles Manson guy had the right idea.” He waved his hands in front of his chest. “The commune thing, not the murder thing. You know, a group of people that stick together for life. Teaching each other how to live away from society.”
“I guess you could just go to prison like the Manson Family and find your commune there.” I bit my tongue, but it was too late.
Eddie cocked his head at me, frowning. The waitress showed up just in time to distract him.
My order spilled out of my mouth. “I’ll have the spaghetti, the garlic bread, and a beer. A giant beer.”
Our waitress looked at me over her notebook, and then nodded her head in a knowing way. It probably wasn’t the first date she’d seen go south in The Little Pub.
“I’ll have the same, but no beer,” Eddie said.
We handed her our menus and stared at each other’s elbows until my beer came. It frothed over the glass, spilling onto the dark stain of the table top. I greedily sucked it down, relishing the tart taste on the tip of my tongue. The hops filled my belly, leaving a delightful little buzz in my head that almost erased the headache leftover from my vision.
“You sure can drink.” Eddie sipped daintily at his water and returned to shredding his napkin.
I’d barely swallowed a fifth of the glass, but pushed it away.
“So, did you like that latest James Bond film?” Now I was reaching, desperately, for anything to connect on. I hadn’t even seen the film, but it seemed like a safe
enough topic.
Eddie’s eyes lit up. “Yeah, it’s great. I love the new guy playing Bond. He’s got that suave attitude really down pat. And I just love the whole Bond franchise. It’s genius.”
Finally, something positive. “Yeah, they’re really great. A lot of action and mystery. That’s what makes a good movie, in my book.”
We chatted more about each Bond film, pausing only to thank the waitress when she brought us our food. It turned out, Eddie had every collector’s edition DVD and various memorabilia from the films. He was a die-hard Bond fan and spent a long time mulling over his choice for the best Bond actor. We were already done with our food by the time he made up his mind.
“I mean, Brosnan did alright. Peter Sellers wasn’t as bad as everyone says. But I think Sean Connery would have to be my favorite.” Eddie flashed a smile at me as we got up to leave.
He’d more than warmed up during our meal, even daring to touch me on the hand once. But somehow, he’d missed my lukewarm smiles and the not interested neon sign flashing on my forehead. Talking about movies was great, but the chemistry between us was nil. Story of my life.
I thanked our waitress and she gave me a knowing wink. This was going to be the hardest part. Letting them down easy was never actually easy.
“Would you be interested in coming over to my place? I have Diamonds are Forever on Blu-ray.” Eddie’s shy smile returned.
In the moonlight outside the restaurant, I caught a glimpse of his true form. In the glimmer, his head grew bright red feathers and he sprouted the scaly tail of a lizard. In a flash, they were gone, and Eddie’s human form returned.
I should’ve known Angel would set me up with a Cockatrice. She’d thrown every other magical creature at me, so why not try a scaly bird combination? I didn’t like to be prejudiced against my own bird kind, but Cockatrices didn’t exactly turn me on. Eddie was definitely out of luck tonight.
“Oh, ow,” I said, pretending to turn my ankle on a crack in the sidewalk.
Eddie grabbed my hand and kept me from falling to the pavement, leading me over to a curb to rest. I watched a rusted out school bus and black sedan drive by while I moaned in fake agony.
“Did you break it?” He pulled on my boot, intent on examining the injury.
I pushed his hands away. “No, just a sprain. But it stings.”
He squeezed on the leather and I hissed in pain for effect.
“You’d better ice this tonight,” he said, looking up at me with sad eyes. “I guess that means we’ll have to watch Bond another night.”
“Yeah, another night.”
Faking an injury was the only way I could think of that wouldn’t tear poor Eddie’s heart into shreds. Sarah had obviously done enough of that.
“I’ll take you home.”
He stood up and offered his hand to me, but I waved it away.