“My brother’s four years older than me,” he said, sitting on the top step of the porch and facing away from me. “When he was in high school, he started partying a little too hard. The first time I had to take him to the ER to get his stomach pumped, I was twelve. I shouldn’t even have been driving the car, but Mom and Dad were out of town for a business trip and my brother had made me swear not to call an ambulance. All those racing video games really paid off in that moment.”
I sat on the step beside him, my stomach turning to lead. Never would I have guessed that Jayden had been through something so tough. “That’s seriously intense. Is he still drinking?”
His forehead wrinkled in concentration. “My parents got him help, but it hasn’t been easy. He’s been in and out of rehab four times now. He even got kicked off the baseball team at State because of his addiction. But the good news is that he’s six months sober now and taking classes again, so there’s hope.”
All the comments Jayden had made about addictions and his family were starting to make sense. This secret was heavy. I couldn’t imagine having to carry that alone. I felt honored that he’d chosen to share it with
me.
Scooting closer to him, I bumped his shoulder gently and leaned slightly into him. “I’m glad he’s doing better. And I’m sorry you had to deal with all of that. It makes sense now why you don’t drink.”
“I know a lot of people can do it without a problem, but I’ve decided I’m never going to touch the stuff, even when I turn twenty-one.” He shot me a half-hearted smile. “Only green kale smoothies for me. Even if it makes me a health nut.”
I laughed softly, cradled my chin in my hands, and stared at the big oak tree standing in our yard. Jayden’s story had me more determined than ever to get my baby sister on the right path. I didn’t want that future for her. I had to be the big sister she needed to get her through this.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jayden sneak a glance at my face. “You know, the only reason I stuck around tonight was for the chance to see you again,” he said. “This wasn’t really what I had in mind, but I’ll take it.”
My pulse jumped at his words. I closed my eyes, wrapped my arms around my waist, and waited for the feeling to pass. But the electrifying touch of Jayden’s hand on mine only made it race harder. There was no ignoring the way he affected me, even if I wished with everything inside of me that I could. Falling for a guy like him could be dangerous. And distracting. Opening my eyes, I saw that he had turned toward me, his knees bumping against my thigh.
“At the mall today, you let slip that Audrey thinks you like me.” He looked down at our hands. The muscles in his jaw clenched and then relaxed. “Any chance that might be true?”
It was like the temperature outside had suddenly risen thirty degrees. I tugged on the neck of my hoodie, feeling the heat from my face spread to the rest of my body. The memory of pushing him up against the wall of that dressing room lit up my senses like a lightning storm. I could still feel the electricity between us, sense the heat of his body against mine, and taste the longing in the air.
Had that really only been today? What happened at the mall seemed like ages ago. But more importantly, was Audrey right?
Did I really like Jayden?
He was sitting too close for me to think. I needed space. Hopping up from the steps, I paced in front of him on the sidewalk, the gears in my head turning. It was too hard to make sense of anything, so I just let the thoughts spill out of my mouth.
“You—” I stopped pacing and pointed accusingly at him “—have been a pain in my side for years.”
He frowned and leaned back on the steps, looking frustratingly handsome with his hair falling onto his forehead. “So...is that a no?”
I huffed as my mouth bobbed open and shut. “No...”
A hint of a grin returned to his face and he sat up again. “So you do like me?”
“Not so fast, Romeo.” I held up the palm of my hand toward him. “You and I have never gotten along. We compete constantly. You insist on calling me Amanda, even though I’m pretty sure you know it kills me. And we’re just about as opposite as two people can be. Why would you even want me to like you?”
He was up from the steps in a flash and standing in front of me. I blinked up at his face in surprise, taking in his cocky smile as he took another step toward me.
“Are you saying I drive you crazy, Amanda?” he asked.
The brief burst of frustration inside of me fizzled as soon as he took another step, effectively erasing any space I had left to think without his grinning face and his entire personality swallowing up my rational thoughts.
“M-m-maybe.” I retreated a step backward into the grass.
“That’s good to know.” He bit his lower lip and nodded, claiming the space between us once again. “You know, you drive me crazy, too.”
I was pretty sure we weren’t talking about the same type of crazy, because the dark, smoldering look he gave me about made my knees shake. I couldn’t take it anymore. Spinning on my heel, I walked a few steps away and then turned back to him, desperation boiling up in my gut.
Here he was, putting me on the spot. Being all sweet and then interrogating me as if I were the suspect of interest in a crime. What was his game? To soften me up and then make me snap? To see if he could get me to admit to something that he would be able to use to torture me forever? I wasn’t having it.
“You can’t just go around saying those kinds of things to me.” I planted my hands on my hips and narrowed my eyes at him. “It’s not fair.”
His lips twitched as if he found my frustration funny and he took two more steps in my direction. “Okay...fine. I won’t say anything else unless you want me to.”
He made a zipping motion across his lips, his eyes twinkling. I shook my head and frowned at him. Even in the low light, I could see his gaze flicker down to my lips and pause for a long moment, before returning to my eyes. A hungry sensation passed over me and I tried my best not to pay any attention to the inferno he’d lit inside my body.