With a quick goodbye to my friends, I followed Mom down the sterile white hallway of our hospital and into a room near the end. A cream fabric curtain had been drawn in front of the door, but Mom pushed past it and revealed Dad and Charlotte sitting together. Dad had a chair pulled up to the side of the bed where Charlotte lay in a crisp linen hospital gown. They were laughing about something, and the sight made my heart crack a little.
“Hey, Sis,” I said.
She looked up at me and the laughter in her eyes turned to tears. “Mandy.”
Holding out my arms, I rushed to her side and pulled her into a hug. Dad got up from his seat and he and Mom excused themselves to go grab a cup of coffee, leaving us alone to catch up. It was so relieving to see the pink returning to my sister’s pale cheeks. The brightness in her eyes. Her hair smelled like river water, but otherwise, there was no sign that she’d nearly drowned at the Cascades two hours ago.
“I am so sorry.” She grabbed my hands tight and stared at me with wide eyes. “I messed up, big time. I nearly got us both killed. I think I could say I’m sorry every hour of every day for the next ten years, and it’ll never be enough.”
&n
bsp; I laughed and tucked some hair behind her ear. “Please don’t. I can’t have you waking me up every hour. I like my sleep. Plus, I’ve already forgiven you.”
Her eyes were red. “Really?”
“Yeah. But for my sake, can you promise for real this time that you’re not going to hang around Sarah and those girls anymore? They’re so awful.”
“I swear on my life.” She nodded like a bobblehead doll on a dashboard. “I won’t even give them the time of day. If they offer to give me all the answers on the next math test, I’ll walk the other way. That’s how serious I am.”
“Good.” I smiled. It seemed like I was finally getting through to her. “And I think that I should say I’m sorry, too.”
Her forehead wrinkled in confusion. “Why?”
“Because, I should’ve told you about me and Jayden.” I sighed and rubbed the palms of my hands on my thighs. “We got together the night of the party, before I knew you were into him. I didn’t want to tell you because it seemed like you were finally getting to a better spot. But I broke it off when he came to see me yesterday.”
She played with her fingers in her lap. “I didn’t know that.”
“If I’d been upfront with you, none of this would’ve happened. But I was so worried you’d run back to Sarah...”
“Which is exactly what I did.” Her face crinkled up as if she were trying not to cry. Red spotted her cheeks. “I really am the worst, Mandy. I was selfish and mean. I let myself get drunk just to try and feel better. It was stupid. I didn’t care about anyone but myself.”
I moved to sit beside her in the bed and put my arm around her. She cuddled into my shoulder, just like when she was a little girl, and sobbed.
“You’re not the worst,” I said softly, stroking her hair. “You’re my sister. You made a mistake, but you’ll come back from this. That’s what we Hales do. Even if we nearly drown or sprain an ankle.”
She gasped and then reached for my leg. “Your foot. Did you hurt it again on the rocks?”
I flexed it, curling my toes and then relaxing them, not feeling an ounce of pain.
“Nope. Good as new.”
“Good.” She rested her head back on my shoulder. “Now, you can run again.”
Now I could run. I waited, expecting that spark of joy in my gut to return at the prospect of hitting the track again. But my dip in the Cascades must’ve extinguished any remaining embers, because all I felt was cold. Cold at the thought that I’d nearly lost my baby sister, all because I’d been caught up in my own life.
Maybe it was the dampness from Charlotte’s tears on my shoulder, or the terror of the Cascades still deep in my bones, but something had taken ahold of my heart and was squeezing it like a stress ball. My throat felt thick, my lungs heavy.
I never wanted to end up at this hospital again. Not for Charlotte, not for Mom. Not for anyone. My heart couldn’t take it anymore.
Things had to change from here on out.
Chapter Twenty-Two
I’d officially reached the end of my three-week prison sentence.
My physical therapist had released me today for physical activity again. But instead of going out to test it, I was spending Friday night lying on top of my bed and rolling my ankle, enjoying the feeling of it bending and turning without pain. It was nice to worry about one less thing...even if I might never see another track in my life.
“Finally some good news, and I can’t even tell anyone,” I mumbled to myself.