“I’m not sure if things can go back to the way they were,” I said, looking at them both. Pain and uncertainty churned in my stomach. “What if I go back to wanting to control everything myself? What if I just make everyone else around me miserable?”
“You won’t.” Charlotte took my hand and squeezed it tight. “You’re my big sister and I know you better than that.”
“Listen to her,” Mom said, grabbing my other hand. “You have Charlotte. You have your group of best friends. And after you make things right with Jayden, you’ll have him, too. But above all else, you’ll have your parents around to lean on. Let yourself be a happy kid, for once. Leave the worries to us old folk.”
I snorted softly, but a warmth flickered in my chest that I hadn’t felt for several days. It seemed that maybe this cold layer around my heart was unfreezing. That I was feeling hopeful for the first time all week.
“Okay, I’ll talk to Jayden tomorrow,” I said, feeling my lips curve into a smile. “Thanks for setting me straight, guys.”
“You’re welcome,” they both said at the same time.
We all giggled and my heart became that much lighter.
Maybe I had been too controlling over everything around me. Maybe I’d expected too much out of myself. Trina had accused me of taking care of everyone else and neglecting my own needs. She’d been right—as usual.
From now on, I was going to try and let other people help me. I wasn’t going to turn down help anymore. I was going to do what it took to make me happy, too.
But before all of that—I was going to make it up to Jayden.
Chapter Twenty-Three
The next morning my parents finally lifted the Internet ban. I logged into my social media accounts so quickly that it was dizzying to see all the messages and comments popping up from people checking on me. Worst of all was seeing Jayden’s multiple messages. I didn’t have time to read and analyze them all. Instead, I sent him a message asking to meet this morning and sat there at my computer, crossing my fingers for a quick reply.
Me: Can we meet this morning?
We need to talk.
Jayden: Fine.
At batting cages.
His reply sent off a fluttering sensation in my chest. That hadn’t taken long at all. I didn’t waste time to change out of my yoga pants and t-shirt. Running down the hall, yelling like a mad-woman, I went for the keys to Mom’s van.
“He’s at the batting cages,” I said, as she and my little sister rushed into the entryway. “I have to go tell him I’m sorry. This is my chance.”
“I’ll drive,” Mom said, grabbing the keys. “I don’t trust you to follow the speed limits when you’re worked up like this.”
“And I’ll come, too,” Charlotte said, bouncing up and down with a grin.
I shrugged. The more the merrier, I guessed. We were out the door in record time, hurtling across Rock Valley at just below reckless speeds.
The batting cages were situated not far from the school in a giant tin building that also hosted laser tag and a trampoline park. Mom parked in the lot and left the engine running. She patted my knee and shot me a smile.
“This is all you, baby girl. We’ll wait here for the good news.”
“Thanks.” I mana
ged to return her smile, although my insides were twisting with the anticipation of apologizing to Jayden face-to-face.
Mom had been right. Jayden deserved at least that much. And hopefully, he’d know just how sorry I was when he got a look at me.
The batting cage arena was filled with the sound of automatic pitching machines, missed balls hitting thick tarp backdrops, and the ting of bats. I scanned the area, gulping when my eyes landed on Jayden in one of the middle cages, his back turned to me. He’d worn a simple outfit of athletic shorts and a t-shirt. A blue batting helmet obscured most of his face as he swung at a pitch.
The way the muscles in his back and arms coiled tightly during each swing had me momentarily distracted. I drifted toward his cage, watching him through the chain-link fence, not wanting to interrupt just yet. He readied himself for another pitch, swinging with impressive athleticism when the ball shot out of the machine and delivered a beautiful hit to the back of the cage.
That must’ve been the last pitch in the lineup because the machine began to wind down and Jayden took off his helmet to wipe the sweat from his forehead. He turned to lean his bat against the door and caught me watching him. His blue eyes widened in surprise for a mere second before he managed to force his expression into something neutral.
“Hey.” I bit my bottom lip, desperately trying to remember all the words I’d planned to say when I was in my bed last night. They were currently escaping me. “How are you doing?”