Baby For The Mountain Man

Too late…

The word ‘late’ began to bounce around on in my head, making me uncomfortable for some reason.

I began reflecting on that day of heartache with Will again, how that heartache, the cramps, and the PMS had created the perfect storm that had me crying for the rest of the night. It was almost like how I currently felt, minus the PMS part…

The tub of ice cream slipped from my hands. I watched it roll across Tobias’s pristine floor, a steady panic growing inside of me as I realized that I’d been staying here for over a month and hadn’t had my period yet.

I hadn’t had a period since Anderson and I started…

No, a voice said sternly in my head. It’s just stress. Stress is making your period late. That’s all it is…

I so desperately wanted to believe this was the case, but another voice in my head chimed in.

How do you know though? Your period has always been like clockwork. You’ve never missed it before…

Was that nausea or morning sickness?

Climbing to my feet on shaky legs, I clambered up the stairs to my room, pulling a jogging suit on over my pajamas and then dashing out of the house, heading for the first Walgreens that I passed.

My whole body felt overheated as I walked through the aisles, looking at row upon row of pregnancy tests, overwhelmed regarding which one to get. My anxiety increasing by the second, I closed my eyes and grabbed the first three my hands landed on, and then headed to the checkout line.

A teenaged boy worked the checkout line. “Good afternoon, ma’am,” he said, pleasantly enough, and then raised his eyebrows in embarrassment as I slid the three pregnancy tests toward him. He quickly scanned and bagged them. I shoved the money at him without bothering to get my change back.

The whole time, my mind spun with panic. By the time I got back to the house, I was practically numb. I headed upstairs to my room, went to the bathroom, and sat on the cold floor for a moment, terrified.

I stared at the three pregnancy tests, suddenly afraid to open them…

Afraid to take them…

Knowing my whole life could potentially be changed forever.

You need to know though…the voice in my head reasoned.

My hands trembling, I tore open the first box.

Sure, I’d thought about having children before. What girl didn’t? I just thought that whenever it came time for me to seriously think about having children, I would be married to the love of my life and it would be a decision we’d make together. A few years ago, I had always envisioned that discussion happening with Zander. But when things started falling to the wayside with him, so did my dreams of having a family. It had taken me a while to get the strength to leave him, but I had decided long ago that he would never be the father of my children. I’d at least had sense enough to know that making him a father would have been the worst thing I could have possibly done.

But this though…

This I hadn’t expected in the slightest.

Taking a deep breath, I carefully read the instructions for the first test, and then I went for it. The subsequent minutes that ticked by as I waited for the results felt like the longest I had ever experienced in my life.

Positive.

I swallowed, starting at the little blue plus-sign for a moment.

I then ripped open the second box, read the second set of instructions, and went downstairs for a glass of water. A half hour later, I took the second test.

Positive.

I stared at the two blue lines, confirming the first results.

I waited a whole hour before taking the third test. That one resulted in another plus sign.

Positive. Positive. Positive.

Pregnant. Pregnant. Pregnant.