“I know you’re worried, okay?” I said. I tried to keep my voice even and calm, but it trembled anyway. Gently, I reached my hand out and took hers, squeezing it. “I understand. And you know how much I appreciate everything you’ve done for me over the years. You, more than anyone, have stood by me and I love you for it. I really do, Al. I just can’t explain to you how I’m feeling right now. Everything with Zane feels so uncertain and unfinished. Despite everything, I don’t think I ever truly got closure from him. I need to go tonight, okay? And right now, you need to back off.”
Allie opened her mouth to argue, but she closed it almost just as fast. With a sigh, she took a step forward and engulfed me in a bone-crushing hug. I thought I was going to suffocate, but I didn’t pull away. I just stepped closer and wrapped my arms around her waist, letting her hold me.
As my big sister, Allie had seen me at my lowest points in life. More than anyone, she knew the progress I’d made over the past five years. Deep down, I knew her worry stemmed from her desire to keep me on my chosen path; she didn’t want anything derailing the life I had created for myself, especially not Zane.
“It’s okay to be scared,” she whispered.
I wouldn’t admit it, but she was right. I was terrified of what dinner with Zane might mean. Our talk in town had gone well—better than I had ever imagined. Still, that didn’t change our history. There was so much between us. So much pain and heartache. One dinner could never erase all that, but a part of me hoped it might be a start, or at least a step in the right direction.
“Are you going to tell him?” Allie asked, her voice soft, not wanting to upset me again.
Sighing, I pulled away from her and sunk onto the bed to adjust the heels on my feet. Allie waited patiently for my answer, but we both knew I didn’t have one.
“Maybe he should know,” she said. “Elizabeth isn’t a baby anymore and—”
“I know,” I said, cutting her off. I didn’t know if I could handle talking about Elizabeth at the moment. “And honestly, I don’t know what I will or won’t tell him. I don’t think I’ll know until I’m there.”
Allie nodded .“Fair enough. It’s ultimately your decision, but be careful. Once you tell him, you can never take it back. He’ll know forever.”
I nodded and gave her another quick hug before grabbing my purse and hurrying out the door with her words ringing through my ears.
CHAPTER 16
Zane
I knew I needed to check in with Max, it had been a few months since that phone call. Since I told him Leo died.
And when I got his wedding invitation in the mail, I knew it was time to reach out again.
“Max?” I asked when a man answered, but I could hear barking in the background. I wasn’t sure if it was him or not.
“Zane, man, how are you? It’s been a while.”
“Couple months, yeah. Got your invitation. Congrats.”
“Thanks, never thought it would happen to me, ya know?”
“Yeah, man of the night like you are. Remember when we used to call you vampire in the desert? Never thought you’d survive out there.”
“Never thought I’d survive over here either,” he laughed. “But now that I have her, it’s just different, ya know?”
I did know, but I couldn’t tell him that. He knew my long history with Alicia. He was the one who used to mess with me about how much I missed her. How I had a good thing going and I gave it all up for the savages. What a dumb move that was. Max and Brady were the two men I was closest with. The two I’d tell anything to. Well them and Leo. But he was gone now. At least I had these guys.
“I know.”
“So anyway, are you coming? To the wedding? Is that why you’re calling?”
“I need to figure some stuff out first, so I’m not sure. But I’ll let you know soon.”
“Figure stuff out? Like a date? Wait are you here, in Savage?”
“For now.”
“Zane! Come on, why didn’t you tell me that to start? I mean I sent the invite to your mom’s cause you said you were coming home, but I figured you were gone by now. Moved on to some new place. You should come over, meet Kylie.”
“Yeah, maybe sometime. But you’re right, I’m not staying. I can’t be here Max. You know that.”
“I see his old girlfriend sometimes, what was her name? Jessica?”