Hopeless Hero

I turned around and gave her a smile. “Is that true?” I asked Elizabeth.

“I start in September,” she said sadly. “Which is months away.”

“It’s not that much longer,” I said. “The more you think about it, the slower time will pass.”

“Mom always says that, too,” she grumbled.

“Who do you think I got it from?” Alicia said with a chuckle. The happiness in her voice filled me with a warmth I hadn’t felt in a long time. Sitting there, playing with my daughter and listening to Alicia’s breathing behind me, I felt more at peace than I’d felt in years.

“What’s your favorite thing to do?” I asked Elizabeth.

“My favorite thing?”

“Yes. Your favorite thing in the entire world.”

She thought for a second, her forehead furrowed as she considered all her options. It was amazing to watch the wheels in her head turn. I’d never seen someone so young think so intensely.

“Walking in Central Park with Mom on Sunday mornings,” she announced. “That’s my favorite thing!”

“Why?”

“Because it’s just the two of us,” she explained. “During the week, Mommy works a lot, so I stay home with Mrs. Bailey. We play and she teaches me stuff. It’s fun, but I like it better when I’m just with Mommy.”

I glanced behind me and saw the tears sliding down Alicia’s face. She’d been crying on and off ever since we arrived at Allie’s. I couldn’t blame her though; my own emotions were threatening to burst free too. It took all the strength I had to keep my voice steady and my eyes dry. “That’s sounds amazing,” I said. “I like spending time with your mom too.”

“Then how come you stopped dating her?” Elizabeth asked. Her question was so off-handed, it almost seemed like she didn’t know what she was asking. When I hesitated, though, she glanced up and fixed her blue eyes on me.

“I had a few things to figure out back then,” I explained slowly. “I really, really wanted to be a soldier. So when I got the chance, I couldn’t pass it up.”

“Kind of like when Mommy got the chance to be a lawyer. Right Mom?”

“Exactly,” Alicia answered. She walked over and sat down with us on the floor. “Sometimes adults have to figure out what they want to do with their lives before they can be together. Does that make sense?”

“Are you going to be together now?” Elizabeth asked.

I inhaled and waited for Alicia’s response, but she didn’t speak. Instead, she just looked at me. The expression on her face was one of confusion and worry. She didn’t want to give the wrong answer and hurt Elizabeth, but she also didn’t want to get her hopes up if we weren’t going to try again.

“That’s something your mom and I need to talk about a little bit,” I told her. “But, I can promise you that I’ll be around a lot. If that’s okay with you?”

“Like a real daddy?” she asked, her face lighting up happily.

My heart melted. “Just like it.” I leaned over and kissed the top of her head.

She smiled and then pushed a doll into Alicia’s hands. “Here Mom. If you’re going to be here, you have to play too. You can be Tiffany. She’s the surgeon.”

We spent the rest of the afternoon playing dolls and talking. I learned all about Elizabeth’s friends back in New York, and how much she desperately wanted a dog. Alicia said they didn’t have room for one, but Elizabeth insisted they could just get a really small one.

I laughed more than I had in years, my smile never faltering. For the first time since Leo died, I felt like myself again.

After a while, I sat back and watched Alicia play with Elizabeth, unable to tear my eyes away from them. I compared their expressions and their voices, marveling over how they were what I’d been looking for all these years without even knowing it.

I left for a Savage Soldiers mission, determined to fulfill a dream and live out my purpose. While I was away, I’d felt sure of myself. I’d been strong and happy, until I wasn’t. When things shifted, it knocked my world off its axis and it wasn’t until I saw Alicia again that things began to spin normally again.

Alicia and Elizabeth. They were my life now.

CHAPTER 27

Alicia