I hated to look him in the eye with this elephant in the room. He knew something was wrong. He went out of his way to be extra nice to me—like he wasn’t nice enough already. The better he treated me, the more care he took to give me everything I wanted, the worse I felt. I wanted to kick myself for not trusting him, but what could I do?
One year of marriage. That was the contract. Now along comes a baby. That changed everything. What would the PR team do? What would Tanya do? Would they sue me for everything I didn’t have? Would Gray be upset? I racked my brain and tried to think if there was anything in the contract about a baby. Gray had never mentioned birth control. Somehow, that minor detail got forgotten in the chaos of planning this disaster of a marriage.
Gray came into the bedroom. I caught sight of him in the mirror. He looked better than ever in his tux. He waltzed up behind me and laid both hands on my shoulders. He nuzzled into my ear, and the same old quivery excitement squeaked down my body and ran down to in between my legs.
That was the real problem. Being pregnant made me hornier than ever. I didn’t want to keep doing it, but I had to. He worshiped my curves. He sucked my breasts until I couldn’t stand it. He fucked me night and day, and I could never get enough.
However, despite all that, I couldn’t talk to him. I couldn’t share the joys of living with him when I carried this secret around. It weighed my shoulders to the ground and crushed the life out of every waking minute. I took refuge only in those blessed moments when we came together for rabid, wild, screaming dripping wet sex.
He fucked me anywhere and everywhere. We couldn’t get into the limo without him slipping his fingers up my skirt to push my body towards ecstasy. We couldn’t sit down at a quiet booth in the back of some restaurant without him kissing my neck, and whispering all of the naughty things he wanted to do to me in my ear. I couldn’t lounge in bed next to him watching TV without catching sight of his package lying under his pajama pants. I would slip my hand under the covers, and the rest would be history.
I couldn’t help cringing at the scene. I played my part. I smiled and kissed him in front of the cameras, not because I got paid to do it, but because I really loved kissing Gray. I didn’t care who saw me kissing him. I was proud of him and proud to kiss him. Showing up in public on his arm, with his rocks on my hand and his money in my bank account filled my heart to overflowing with pride. He decorated my life better than any diamond. He was a diamond. Too bad it would never actually last.
He nibbled my earlobe, and I pressed my head against his mouth. “Mmm.”
His strong hands scooped up my breasts and heat coursed through my body. “You should get dressed. We’ll be late.”
I purred into his embrace. “Then we’ll be fashionably late. Isn’t that what we want?”
“I want everyone to see how stunning and sexy and beautiful you are,” he growled.
I covered his hands with mine and guided their movements in circles over my breasts. I eased one hand down between my legs to stroke my panties. “Just a little while longer.”
He fingered the wet cotton teasing my slightly. “You’re so wet right now. That’s the way I want you. I want you aching for me all night. I’ll finish you off afterwards when I can take all time in the world.” He pulled his hand away and gave my ass a hard pinch. “Now get dressed. That’s an order.”
I smacked my lips. “Yes, Sir.”
He shot me a grin in the mirror. “Good girl. Do as you’re told, and I might reward you later.”
I grinned back. “Goody. I can’t wait.”
He strode out of the bedroom, and my heart sank. I had a long night at a fancy gala to get through before I could look forward to another night of guilt-ridden sex. Deep down, I knew I had to tell him. That’s all there was to it. I couldn’t live like this any longer. If he threw me out, at least I wouldn’t have to live with this racking tension all the time.
I pulled my satin gown over my head and settled the shimmering folds around my hips and bust. I pushed my breasts up into place to show off my cleavage. Just handling my own breasts made me so raging hot I couldn’t stand it. I should sneak off to the bathroom and give myself a buzz with the vibrator Gray used on me sometimes. Then I could face this evening with my head screwed on straight.
I squared my shoulders and gave myself one last look in the mirror. This couldn’t continue. I made up my mind that I would tell him after the gala for his brother’s campaign. After we came home, after we took off our clothes and crawled into our own bed, when it was just him and me together in the quiet and the dark—that’s when I would tell him.
Maybe, just maybe, he wouldn’t blow up. Maybe he would kiss me and tell me it was all going to be all right. Maybe, just maybe, he would forgive me for keeping this a secret from him.
He came back to get me, and he whistled through his teeth when he saw me. I flapped my hand at him. “Shut up.”
He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back to admire me. “You have so got it going on, babe. I’m the luckiest guy in the world.”
I blushed. “But only for another eleven months, right?”
As soon as I said those words, I regretted it. He doubled over like I punched in him the guts. He grimaced and turned away. “Yeah.”
Eleven months? Eleven months from right now? In nine months from now, I’d be stuck with a kid. I would be a mother. I would be tired and grumpy and without a job yet again. I would become just another mother trying to hold it all together.
I knew all about that. I saw it every day of the week. I knew dozens of fashionable, successful women who got married, got pregnant, and found themselves living very different lives than the ones they led before.
I wouldn’t be going out to fancy restaurants every night of the week. I wouldn’t be attending galas l
ike this one—at least, not as often. I would be stuck at home, changing diapers, breastfeeding, doing my best to stay sane. That’s the best any mother could hope for.
I didn’t want to think about that, but I couldn’t stop myself. Every time I looked at myself in the mirror, the words kept repeating in my mind. I was a mother. I was already a mother. My life already changed. I became a different person with a new set of priorities.
What about Gray? What would he turn into when he found out he was a father? Maybe he would settle down for real the way his PR team wanted him to. Maybe he wouldn’t have to put on an act by marrying a stranger.