It was only my first day and I was already off to a horrible start.
We reached campus and I pulled up to the daycare. I jumped out and grabbed Garrett from the backseat, grunting as I picked him up but not daring to pause at any point.
He protested as I carried him inside, but I only had five minutes to get to class and didn’t have time for him to walk.
“Have a great day,” I said, breathlessly. I kissed his forehead and pushed him toward the classroom.
He waved at me before disappearing inside.
Without wasting another second, I flew back to my car. Speeding across campus, I pulled up to the science building right as class began.
When I reached the classroom, I peered through the window and saw that the professor had already started the lesson.
I groaned; interrupting class wasn’t the way to make a good first impression.
With a deep breath, I slowly pushed open the door, trying to make as little noise as possible. Quickly stepping inside, I softly closed the door behind me and cringed at how loud it clicked. Fortunately, only a few people turned around.
I hurried to the first empty seat I saw. It was in the back row, but I didn’t care.
A woman handed me a syllabus and I mouthed a silent ‘thank you’.
I quickly read through the syllabus, noting that it all seemed pretty standard. I then tucked it into my bag and pulled out my notebook. With my pen in hand, I focused on the professor and realized I hadn’t miss anything important; he had just begun the lesson.
Still, I hated the thought of having missed anything at all. Shaking my head, I started furiously scribbling notes.
Briefly glancing around, I saw that the students around me were all busy taking notes as well. I smiled, for this was precisely the kind of class I wanted to be a part of. There were only about twenty students, but it was clear that we were all there for the same reason—to become lawyers. Our goal wasn’t just to get a degree and then forget everything we’d learned; we wanted to help people get the justice they deserved.
Finally, I let myself relax, feeling that I was exactly where I was supposed to be. It felt amazing; it had taken me years, but I’d finally made it to law school and I couldn’t have been prouder of myself.
A grin spread across my face, and I knew that if anyone looked at me, they would have thought I was crazy. I didn’t care though, because they didn’t know everything I’d gone through to get my seat in that classroom.
After spending four years raising a son, I never imagined I would have the chance to study law. I had put my dreams on hold and focused solely on Garrett for so long that I’d almost forgotten that I was a real person with dreams and ambitions. For a while, my only name and role had become ‘Mom’. My own personal desires no longer mattered. Nothing had mattered but keeping food in my son’s mouth and clothes on his back.
For four years, I worked nonstop to support Garrett. I did the best I could, but I’d let myself go in the process. It had been years since I’d even cracked open a book. So when my little sister, Autumn, had suggested I go back to school, I thought she was insane.
“I don’t have time,” I had told her. I had dismissed her suggestion as childishness. She too, wanted to be a lawyer. The difference, however, was that she was younger and childfree. She still had her whole life ahead of her, and her only responsibility was accompanying our father on the road while he chased after his political ambitions.
My sister and my father were perfectly capable of following their dreams. I, on the other hand, never felt I had that same luxury. Being a single mom, there were just too many things for me to juggle.
My sister wouldn’t let up though. When Autumn got an idea in her mind, she ran with it. For months, she pressured me into applying. And when I finally did, I had never thought I would actually be accepted. I had only sent in the application to shut her up.
Getting my acceptance letter had felt like a dream. Even with the piece of paper in my hands, I couldn’t believe it was happening, and still hadn’t been sure I could go. But after countless conversations with Autumn, I decided to give it a try.
We celebrated Garrett’s fourth birthday and a week later, I was in my first law school class.
Still grinning like an idiot, I turned over the first page of my notebook. I wished I had a computer to take notes on; I could already tell my writing hand was going to be exhausted by the end of class.
Taking a quick break, I stretched my hand before continuing.
As the content of the lecture became more complicated, my mind had fewer chances to drift. Not wanting to miss a single word, I made a mental note to start bringing a recorder.
I had sacrificed so much to just be in law school. It was Garrett’s last year before starting kindergarten, and I had been looking forward to spending time with him. Now, however, I would see him less. The year would fly by, and he would officially be in school in no time. The idea brought tears to my eyes, but at the end of the day, I knew I was doing the right thing. Garrett deserved a mom who chased her dreams, not one who just accepted living a mediocre life.
I had to teach him how to fight for things.
So far, I thought I’d done a good job raising him. He was sweet, polite, all his daycare teachers loved him, his aunt Autumn was his best friend, and my friends adored him.
Still, I wanted more for him than a cramped one-bedroom apartment. I wanted to give him the world.