I wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my head against his shoulder. “Do you want to talk about it?” I asked softly.
“No,” he said, impatiently wiping away tears, “but, there is something I need to tell you.”
“Okay.” I frowned, confused and unable to imagine what was so important that he needed to tell me right then and there after his father’s funeral.
When he spoke, his voice was void of any emotion. “After graduation, I’m leaving for basic training.”
I blinked, dumbfounded. “What?”
“I enlisted in the army. I’m becoming a Savage Soldier,” he explained.
“But what about law school?” With the tempest of thoughts whirling around my head, it was the first one I could grasp clearly. Still, I couldn’t believe what he was saying. His father had just died, and now he was leaving? We were set to graduate in December, and he was leaving. Joining the Savage Soldiers.
Going off to a war his father had just become a causality of.
“I’m not going to law school,” he answered simply.
“But it’s your dream.”
“Dreams change.” He watched as they poured dirt over his father’s casket. I followed his gaze, not wanting to look into his emotionless face any longer.
Deep down though, I knew why he was doing this. His father had died in combat, so Tucker thought enlisting was the best way to honor his memory. I understood, but I didn’t agree.
In all the time I’d known Tucker, he had never once mentioned joining the military. In fact, he used to complain about how often his father was away from home.
“He’s never around, but we’re supposed to be okay with it because he’s a war hero,” he would say scornfully.
“When do you leave exactly?” I asked, speaking around the lump in my throat that I had unsuccessfully tried to swallow down. I had spent the past week trying to stay strong, but my repressed tears were finally threatening to escape now.
When minutes passed without him speaking, I grabbed his hand. “Tucker, please talk to me. This is a big decision. We should sit down and properly think this through. I don’t-”
“There is nothing to discuss,” he said, shaking off my hold. I almost stepped back, the cold fury in his eyes hitting me like a whip. “It’s my decision.”
“And what about us?” Anger leaked into my tone. “What does your decision mean for us?”
He didn’t respond, but I could clearly feel him pulling further away from me.
“Please don’t do this, Tucker,” I pleaded. “Don’t shut me out like this. I love you. I only want to be here for you.”
I reached for his hand again, but he stepped back.
“We should go,” he said. “They’ll be expecting us at the house.”
He turned and walked to the car without another word. Frozen, I watched him go, wondering if he’d heard my question, or if he even cared.
He climbed into the car and started the engine. When I finally followed him, I felt like he was already gone.
Days later, he really was.
CHAPTER 5
Tucker
My first day of classes was easy, just as I’d expected.
I only had one class first thing in the morning and when I got there, I’d staked out the best seat I could find.
Unlike my first day of undergrad, I hadn’t felt the need to be in the front row. I was mature enough to know now that as long as I paid attention, my seat placement didn’t matter.