Time to fix this mess I made.
+++
The moment I stepped out of the Uber, I felt like a deer in the headlights. I was scared, but the weight of the situation made my legs carry me forward, to the elevators and then up to the fifth floor. I could do it, I knew I could. Things were so bad that they could only get better, I decided.
My legs felt heavy, everything did. Not only was Declan sick again, but I had shut down Owen, who could have been good for me.
Maybe.
The nurse at the reception desk was nice, and asked me to wait a moment while they checked up on Declan. She said there was nothing life-threatening for now, but that she had to make sure he would be able to take a visitor.
“He has developed an infection,” she said. “Because of the therapy, his immune system is extremely fragile, so he developed an infection that moved quickly, too quick for us to catch it. It has harmed his respiratory system. He has trouble breathing, so don’t let him talk too much. He might get sleepy, but it’s natural with all the meds, so don’t worry. We’re monitoring his condition at all times.”
“Thank you,” I said, thanking the nurse, as much as whatever higher power had been responsible for the whole mess.
A minute later I was invited into the room, and the sight of Declan in the hospital bed, with tubes around his face and all sorts of blinking equipment around him made me tear up.
“Declan!” I whispered as I leaned close. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t here! How are you feeling??
?
“I’ve been better. Don’t worry, Julia told me you were out of town. Did you have fun?”
It was an honest question, but I couldn’t help but hear reproach in his tone. I sniffed. “I’m so sorry, Declan, I shouldn’t have left! Yes, I had fun, but now I wish I had been here with you!”
Declan mustered a small smile. He was visibly tired, too tired to even wave me off. When he spoke, it sounded like he had a sore throat. “It’s okay, sis. I don’t blame you. You can’t keep babysitting me. We– you are paying good money for other people to do that.”
“Don’t say that. I’m responsible for you, remember? So, from now on, I’m not leaving you.” I sat on the chair next to the bed, dropping my handbag to the floor. “I’m going to stay here for as long as you are!”
He turned to look at me. “You don’t have to, Syd. I’ll be up and running in no time. You know how I am.”
She smiled. “I know, Declan. Rest now, okay? I will be here if you need me.”
“P.S. Don’t think I’m going to ignore what you’re wearing.”
Ugh I was still in the red bodycon dress. Awkward.
He blinked a couple times, and then shut his eyes, falling asleep before he could roast me anymore.
I exhaled. It was painful to see my brother like this, but I was glad to see him holding up. I texted Julia, saying that all was fine, and she was happy to hear it, but she also wanted details on Owen. I wasn’t ready for that yet.
How could I have been so careless? What if Declan had collapsed somewhere in the street without anyone to identify him and get in touch with me? I was so stupid. The important thing was that I was there with him, and that his condition was stable and treatable. For now.
Worn out by the stress and all the thoughts, I dozed off in the chair, listening to the rhythmic beeping of the monitoring equipment.
When I came to, the moon was out in the sky, casting cold light into the room. I walked over to the window, yawning, and shut the blinds. The room got very dark, so I turned on the dim lamp next to the small table by the chair. Declan was still asleep, but moving around, uncomfortable, but too tired to change his position. I took his cool hand, and he opened his eyes.
“Sorry. I woke you up,” I said.
“I barely slept. My chest hurts a little. Every breath feels like my lungs are wrapped in barbed wire.”
“That’s awful Declan.”
“The drugs help.” He smiled a little. “So, tell me about him, your prince on a white horse. He better be treating you well!”
“Do you really wanna know?” In all the years, we had barely shared any real detail about our relationships, even though we were very tight. I thought Declan might be interested because he wasn’t feeling well, so I said, “Well, he’s a nice guy… but things aren’t serious. So you don’t have to worry about anything.”
I was the one who had to worry. I broke our deal, leaving him. Now I would have another huge hospital bill to contend with.