“Stuff like what?”
“You know, dating. Dinners. Taking a girl out.”
“When did I say that?” he asked.
“In one of our conversations. You said you didn’t have time for more traditional relationships.”
“Why does that insinuate that I don’t treat women to dinner?”
“Isn’t that what traditional relationship encompass? Dates and wine and fine outings?” I asked.
“Women deserve that type of treatment in general, no matter the type of relationship. I don’t have time for a full-fledged, ‘I want to be together forever’ type of relationship.”
“So what you’re saying is you don’t have time for marriage.”
“I don’t have time to build towards it, no. It takes a lot of trust and commitment, and I’m not afforded the kind of time necessary to get to that point.”
“You don’t want love? Or children? Or a life with someone?” I asked.
I watched his gaze harden on me before he cleared his throat. He was hiding something. It was obvious now. I wasn’t sure what and I didn’t know why he insisted on keeping me at arm’s length, but I wasn’t having it. He seemed more open in our electronic conversations than he did now. His gaze was hiding behind walls of cement and he was tight-lipped on the privacies of his life. I didn’t want to know his life story, but I did want to know about him.
I didn’t buy a new dress and make myself sick with nerves to cross town and talk about clothes on people’s floors.
“I’m sorry. That was very forward,” I said.
“It’s fine. Don’t worry about it,” Graham said. “You seem to wonder what I’m looking for, so I’m going to throw the question back at you. What are you looking for in all of this?”
“I don’t know,” I said with a shrug. “I just know I’m not happy with where I’m at.”
“You can’t fix something until you determine what’s broken about it,” he said.
“You always can’t walk away from it simply because you don’t know why it’s broken. Sometimes studying it and trying a few things reveals the issue. Then you can go about fixing it.”
“Eloquently said, Libby. Is that what you’re doing?”
“Hmm?”
“Experimenting until you find what’s wrong?” he asked.
“I don’t… really know,” I said. “Is that bad?”
“No. Some of life’s best things are born out of moments we enjoy instead of analyze.”
“Do you make people feel like this a lot?”
“Like what?” he asked.
“Like you’re maneuvering into their shadows to reveal their secrets before they get the chance to do it themselves?” I asked.
“He has that kind of effect, yes.”
The strange voice that came from behind me caused Graham to whip his gaze up. I looked behind me and found a woman standing there, her eyes hard with anger. She walked around to Graham and I watched him brace. It was obvious he knew the woman, but what relationship they had I couldn't tell. They didn’t look anything alike, so they weren’t siblings.
Was it possible she was an ex of his?
“You can’t keep me away,” the woman said.
“This is not the time nor the place to be discussing something like this,” Graham said as he looked at me.