I didn’t talk about him much because it was just too hard. He had always been a loyal soldier. Even when he was away, and I had to live alone, he was there for me. And when he was around, things were even better. He was a good father, and we both knew each other very well. When he went on his last tour, it was supposed to be his last before he was discharged. He would come home and then we could have a perfect life together. He thought about being a cop to pass the time, but he didn’t really need to. Passing all the men in uniform made me think of that. Needless to say, he wasn’t supposed to be killed in action. I didn’t even get to go to the funeral because according to official records, he never died. I never got to see him again. When I thought of walking out the door and running from the whole case, I thought of how he never ran from anything. Not even a fucking loaded grenade.
“Rose? You okay?” Alex touched my arm gently and brought me back to earth.
“Yeah.” I feigned a smile. “I’m fine.” I hoped I was convincing enough.
“Okay. It’s just through here.” He had his hand on the small of my back as he led me through the back of the station, and down a narrow hallway that ended with four doors.
It kind of looked just like the movies, with the people running around and the one-way glass. I shivered, and Alex held me close, thinking I was cold. Even though I wasn’t, I didn’t move away. I sort of needed him to keep me grounded. I wanted to keep a strong face on to keep them calm. The last thing they needed to do was worry about me, too.
“Nate is bringing him in from holding now. So, it shouldn’t be long.” Alex rubbed my arm softly.
I nodded in response.
“Okay. What do I have to do?” I asked him. I didn’t want to try and assume anything, and I hoped he wouldn’t think I wasn’t up for it.
“There will be a lineup of six guys here.” He pointed to the empty room with black, horizontal lines on the wall. It had height markings on the sides, and the wall was so dirty it wasn’t even white anymore. It could have been an egg wash brown.
“And then you just pick him out if you know it’s him. You won’t know which one we brought in, and if you’re sure it isn’t any of them, that’s okay too,” he told me calmly.
His eyes were deep and soulful as they bored into mine. And if I wasn’t in a police station, it would have aroused me. Though honestly, I could be aroused anywhere if it had to do with him. Even without the suit on, he just looked so dapper and handsome. I loved the way his hair fell to the side, and the lines of his face were hard yet soft at the same time. He had the jawline worthy of any sculpture, and lips I could taste for hours, though it had been so long since I had. I just thought fuck it and stood on my tiptoes to give him a quick peck. It was nothing special, and there was barely any tongue involved. Just the softness of our lips moving against each other for five seconds.
“I’m nervous.” I rested my head under his chin. I felt him nod as he rubbed my back soothingly.
“I know. You’ll be fine. They can’t see you, and we’re going to keep protecting you for as long as this case is still open.” He pulled back and looked at me, like he was studying me for any cracks in my resolve. They wouldn’t be hard to find.
“I wish you guys could have your lives back. Watching me all the time has to be boring.” I took a step back just to breathe again. He was too fucking distracting. His scent, his wide muscles, his…just his aura in general was maddening.
He laughed aloud and shook his head. “We didn’t have much of a life before. And watching you is not boring, I promise.” He gave me a once over that made me tingle in the most sensual way, even though we were in a precinct. I knew it.
He dropped his gaze and took his phone from his pocket, though I didn’t even hear it go off. He read the screen and tapped off a quick response before putting it back.
“They’re coming in.”
Chapter Twenty-Two: Rose
My first day on the job as a nurse wasn’t even hectic. I remember having one patient. A little boy who had an allergic reaction to peanut butter. It was so normal yet scary at the same time. He almost died because he had a Reese’s cup and didn’t know he was allergic to peanut butter. I remember obsessing over how crazy and unfair it was. But he was also lucky to have had such a good teacher. He was only four at the time.
I met Dina few days later and the days just got crazier. The patients more violent an
d the cases more interesting. But everything stayed the same. My job was to help people in their biggest crises, yet I couldn’t even get myself out of a crazy situation.
I had no idea how long I just stood there, off in my own world. I barely noticed Max and Nate showing up. I just knew the three of them were standing behind me, and another lawyer I didn’t even recognize. I knew it was the suspect’s, because he looked like dirty criminals paid his bills and he got them off. I don’t know how I knew that, it was just a look.
But that wasn’t the main thing.
Sometimes, I could remember things from years ago based on a certain smell, or something I see that would take me back to a moment; any moment. It didn’t even have to be important. I would see a kid in a blue shirt, and I would think of that kid from my first day who was allergic to peanut butter.
All it took was that goddamned triangle on his hand to take me back there. I could smell the air from that day; smoke from the train and exhaust from the restaurants nearby. There was the pine of the trees too, and the sap from the evergreens. I was in a small, aluminum box yet I could smell the nature from that day. I felt the sidewalk under my feet and the rise in my breath from the sprint I took after Parker.
I didn’t even have to look at his face to know it was him. I felt it in my bones. The other detective had them all say something, but I barely even listened. I felt his deep Irish accent stuck in my ears and I knew I would never forget it, but that didn’t matter.
All that mattered was that I knew I was looking at the killer. And possibly the man that attacked so many others. I wasn’t worried about him being the wrong guy because I was certain. All I worried about was myself—the Irish mob wasn’t a joke.
If they found out I named him, they would come after me. I considered lying. That lawyer would no doubt tell them, and it would be the end of me. Max, Alex, and Nate would no doubt protect me until the very end, but from all the pop culture and documentaries I saw, three cops wouldn’t stop the mob.
I could lie and never sleep well again, or I could tell the truth and have a limited amount of days. Only one thing would let me live my life the way I wanted, whether it was cut short or not.
“Number four. It’s number four.”