Baby Makes Three

He can’t find me. He can’t find me. He can’t find me. I chanted those words over and over in my head, hoping that if I repeated them enough, I would start to believe them. But I had no such luck. The good mood I’d previously been in felt so far away, like a distant memory.

I suddenly realized I couldn’t be with Anderson anymore—not while I had Zander to worry about. I knew how crazy Zander could be, not to mention jealous.

If he found out about Anderson…

I shuddered, not even wanting to think about it.

I stared down at the half-full cup of coffee on my desk, no longer wanting it. With the way I couldn’t stop trembling, more caffeine was the last thing I needed. Besides, I needed something stronger than coffee, like a shot of whiskey. Not knowing where they kept the booze in the office, I decided to get water instead.

I grabbed my coffee mug and headed to the break room, where I went straight to the sink to toss the remainder of my coffee down the drain.

“Good morning, Joanna!”

I nearly jumped out of my skin, not realizing someone else was in the room. When I turned around, I spotted a woman around my age I’d seen plenty of times around the office, instantly recognizable by her bright green eyes.

“Hi…Libby, right?” I said.

She smiled warmly and nodded. Her smile quickly faltered though, getting replaced with a look of concern. “How’s it going?” she asked. “Everything all right?”

I tried to nod, but treacherous tears began to form in my eyes against my will. I turned to face the wall, trying to take deep and steady breaths, and hoping Libby hadn’t notice my tears. But once they began falling down my cheeks, I knew hiding them was pointless.

I jumped again, feeling Libby’s hand lightly touch my shoulder.

“Joanna, what’s wrong?” she asked in a gentle voice.

I sniffed louder than I meant to, and hastily wiped my eyes. Once again, I tried to force a smile onto my face, but my cheeks wobbled in protest, my jaw muscles refusing to function. “It’s nothing, really,” I said, shaking my head.

Libby simply stared at me.

“My ex…” the words left my mouth before I could stop them.

“Ahh,” Libby said. “I’ve certainly been there before. Come on, sit down.” She guided me toward the table at the center of the room and pulled out a chair for me.

With a sigh, I took a seat and rested my head in my hands. “I don’t know why I’m letting him stress me out like this, especially at work,” I said. “It’s so unprofessional. The last thing I need is for my brother to find out.”

“I just saw your brother not long ago,” Libby said. “He’s running around here like a chicken with its head chopped off. So he’s pretty busy. I don’t think you have to worry about running into him too soon.”

“That’s good to know,” I said, rubbing my eyes.

“Well, if you want to talk about it, I’m here. I know you haven’t known me for long, but I can always sympathize with a woman going through man-trouble. My ex was a complete jerk too, so I feel your pain.”

“Mine is more than just a jerk,” I said. “He’s completely deranged.”

“What happened?” Libby said, leaning in and taking m

y hand.

I glanced up at her, finding something unusually comforting in her touch, almost as if this woman had been a friend of mine for my whole life. In that moment, I also realized how badly I wanted to talk to someone about Zander. He had kept me isolated for so long, I didn’t really have any friends by the end. Leaving Miami had been easy because of that. But now, I’d been holding so much in for so long, I just wanted to get it off my chest.

“My ex, his name is Zander,” I said, “and he was wonderful in the beginning, until he started hitting me.”

Libby gasped. She squeezed my hand tighter. “I’m so sorry,” she said.

I nodded. “Things got pretty bad between us. He would explode over the littlest and stupidest things. The first time he hit me, it was because he’d had a bad day at work, and I hadn’t fixed dinner for him. Never mind that I had just gotten in from work myself… Soon, I started to notice that whenever he felt something was wrong, he would take it out on me as if it was somehow my fault. After so long, I just got to the point where I couldn’t take it anymore. I was afraid for my safety. Afraid for my life. So I had to leave him. That’s why I’m here now. I was living with him in Miami, but after the last fight we had, I couldn’t take it anymore. I called my brother and he told me to come live with him, and that he’d give me a job working here. So here I am.”

Libby gave a reassuring smile. “Well that’s wonderful. You see, things always have a way of working out in the long run. And you should be proud of yourself for finding the strength to leave Zander. So many women never find the strength to leave their abusive relationships, until it’s way too late and they end up leaving in a body bag.”

“It’s not over though,” I said in a strained whisper, a lump forming in my throat. “He…He just called me. Here. On my office phone.”