“It’s just a sprained ankle, mijo; I just need to rest it for a few hours,” she spoke in Spanish to me and smiled. “I called you because I’ve run out of milk and eggs and I thought maybe you could do some grocery shopping for me,” she added, and I nodded.
“I’ll go in a bit,” I said to her, and she moved, trying to sit up straight so she could see me better.
“Keep lying down, mom, you need your ankle to heal properly,” I said and patted her knee. A few moments of silence passed between us, while she watched me closely. I had made it a habit to visit her once every week to keep an eye on her, and I knew mom could tell that there was something on my mind. Although, sometimes now, I wondered if Valentina knew me even better, better than my mother ever could. Now, of course, too much time had passed, and I wondered if she was the same person anymore.
“You know you can tell me anything, Jesus,” she spoke in Spanish again, and I met her eyes. She had interrupted my thoughts about Valentina, but I wanted to have a conversation with her that I had never dared before. I believed it was time. I couldn’t just sweep the subject under the rug anymore. Maybe it was the fact that Valentina was back, but I needed to know answers.
“Mom, why did dad sell me to Muerte Viviente? You don’t have to talk about it if it’s too painful for you,” I said and aimlessly dug at the threads on the side of my jeans. Around my mother, I always felt like a small boy again, and now especially since she was watching me so keenly. Her lips quivered as she spoke, even though I could tell that she was trying to keep her head held high.
“He owed them money,” she said flatly, and I looked up at her. My brows crossed and she shrugged her shoulders.
“It’s as simple as that, mijo. Your father gambled, he drank a lot…you know all this. Well, he borrowed heavily from Muerte Viviente and couldn’t pay them back. Romero Luis made a deal with your father, claiming that all his debts would vanish if he traded you in for his fighting rings,” mom’s voice was cracking again as she spoke and I reached for her. She slid over the edge of the couch as she clung to me and I could feel my jacket wetting where she was crying on my shoulder. I patted her back as her body shook.
“I tried to stop him, mijo. I wish I could!”
“I know you tried, and I also know what kind of man he was,” I comforted her. The purpose of this conversation wasn’t to remind my mom how she had failed me as a parent, and it was because I wanted to know the truth. Nobody had ever told me how Romero got a hold of me, but I always had the feeling that my dad owed the man something.
“The gang forced us…forced your father, just like they are doing it to Romero now,” she cried, and I pulled away from her. I knew she still had some friends whose husbands and children were associated with the Muerte Viviente, but I didn’t think she would know what was going on with Valentina.
“What do you mean, mom?” I asked her, pretending like I had no idea what she was talking about. If she even got a hint that I was hiding Valentina, that I was associating myself with anyone from the Muerte Viviente gang, I knew she would lose her mind with worry. Gone would be her peaceful nights of sleep.
Mom wiped her cheeks with the back of her hands and took in a deep breath as she tried to steady herself.
“Well, Romero is now the one who is in debt, and he got kicked out of the leadership of the gang when he fell sick,” she said, hardening her voice. If I hated Romero Luis and the gang, I knew that she hated them more.
“So, he owes them money, and they’re going to make him pay, right?” I urged her on, and she shook her head. A certain wildness had entered her eyes.
“As far as I know, they’ve already cut a deal. Do you remember, his beautiful young daughter, Valentina?” she asked, looking up at me with a vengeance in her eyes. Any pain that the Muerte Viviente caused to Romero Luis would be vengeance for what they had done to me. She had no idea of my relationship with Valentina, so she didn’t know how this could affect me in turn too.
“Yeah, I remember her,” I said, and mom threw her head back and laughed. I had to clench my hands so that I didn’t reach for her and shake her. The words “cut a deal” were fresh in my mind. I didn’t want to hear what I knew she was about to say.
“Romero is trading his daughter for the debt. They’re going to sell her off into the flesh trade or something; I don’t know…I don’t care. I just want that family to burn in Hell!” she snapped, and I could see the fire erupting in her eyes. Nobody was crueler than a mother whose child is harmed, and she was one such mother, and I couldn’t blame her for it.
“Are you saying that Romero Luis arranged for his daughter to be kidnapped?” I asked, standing up from the rug. Mom looked up at me, and the fury was still in her eyes.
“What else would you expect from a man like him?” she said.
xxx
I burst into Moira’s guest room and found Valentina still in bed. She was naked under the covers but had her eyes open. Fuck, she looked gorgeous! The way the light pouring into the room caught the edges of her chestnut hair and set it on fire! I gulped, to steady myself. She looked over at me, her face morphing into a smile. She thought I had returned to take her into my arms, to make love to her again.
“Jesus…” she said huskily and reached out a hand towards me. I was almost tempted to comply. Tempted to forget about the real reason I was here and just pull her into my arms again.
Instead, I stood with my legs parted at the door, my nostrils flaring with rage and my fists clenched on either side.
“Your father pawned you for money,” I growled, looking at her from under my heavy lids. I could feel the fire smoking out of my nostrils as I glared at her. Valentina’s expression changed, she pulled the covers up to her breasts and moved herself to sit up in bed.
“What are you talking about, Jesus?” she said and I took a few steps towards her.
“You heard what I just said. He wrote to you, knowing that you would come back here. He set up a deal with Muerte Viviente and Juan to trade you for the debt,” I said through gritted teeth as I edged closer to her.
Valentina’s eyes were wide, and she looked aghast. Another second and I predicted she would burst into tears.
“I didn’t expect this from you, Jesus,” she said instead, in a low guttural voice and I crossed my brows.
She still had the covers clutched to her breasts, and I could see her bare shoulders quivering with anger.
“I know Papi hurt you, and he shouldn’t have. I know Papi did things that I could never forgive him for…but this, what you’re claiming…he would never do this to me!” she shrieked and I took in a deep breath of anger. I couldn’t believe that she was siding with him. After everything I had already done for her, after everything he had done to me…how could Valentina not believe me?