“You flit from relationship to relationship, never settling down. You work crazy hours and…”
“I have a job, so what?”
“So, that job is not your entire life.”
“And you think I don’t know that?” I demanded.
“I think you’re scared,” Audra said bluntly.
“Scared?” I asked, “Scared of what?”
“Living.”
I fell silent and leaned back in my chair. As annoyed as I was with Audra, I couldn’t find it in me to argue with her anymore. She hit on a touchy subject that I didn’t want to explore. It was bad enough having to picture Logan’s face. I didn’t think I could handle having a conversation about him.
Jack sat beside Audra with a concerned look. He’d always worried about me, from the time I was a little girl and he and Audra started going out. He was a good brother, a good husband to my sister. In that moment, I wanted nothing more than to ignore my sister and focus on Jack.
“Jack,” I said pointedly. “How’s work going?”
“Oh,” Jack said. He glanced at Audra who just shook her head and sighed. “It’s really good. Things have been…”
Jack launched into an explanation about how wonderful business had been lately. The repair shop he owned was the only one in town, so it wasn’t like he had competition, but it was his pride and joy. He loved that shop almost as much as he loved his family. It was his goal in life to pass it down to his sons when they grew up.
I listened to the rise and fall of Jack’s voice, not catching every word, but happy to be sitting there listening to him. Despite what Audra thought, I did miss being in Bradberry. It was nice to see her and Jack. It was nice to see my cousins and even Aunt Miriam. As much as I hated to admit it, I was even happy to see my parents. There was only one thing keeping me away from Bradberry and it didn’t have anything to do with my family.
The door clanged open behind me and I turned around instinctively. I expected to see another relative or family friend walk through the door and grab a pint, but instead my eyes fell on a familiar face. The exact face I had been picturing moments before.
Logan walked further into the pub, his eyes scanning the room. He looked bigger than the last time I saw him, stronger. His muscles were threatening to tear apart his suit coat and his tie seemed too tight around his neck. Still, he looked handsome. More than handsome. My eyes roamed over his body and his face, glad that he hadn’t seen me yet. I felt glued to my chair. I wanted to move, to run before he saw me, but I couldn’t. My entire body felt heavy.
“What is he doing here?” I heard a voice ask, but it took me a minute to realized it was mine.
“I don’t know…” Audra said, but her words were lost as Logan’s eyes finally found mine. We stared at each other for a fraction of second before my body suddenly felt light and I jumped to my feet. Without a word, I ran toward the back of the pub and disappeared out into the alleyway out back. I didn’t stop running until I was several streets away and breathing heavily.
My heart was racing and my forehead was dripping with sweat, but I didn’t care. I sat down on a curb and put my head between my knees. I told myself to breathe, that I was being ridiculous, but my mind was still racing.
Why was Logan at Kellan’s? Why would he show up to the wake? Was it to see me? Or was it to see…
I sat up and shook my head roughly. My thoughts were running away from me and I had to pull myself together. When Audra accused me of being scared to live I knew she was right. I didn’t want to admit it, but there was a truth to her statement that I couldn’t ignore. Ever since Logan broke my heart, I had been hiding. Ever since that night, I had been terrified of everything…
Seven
Logan
My first thought was that I should turn around and go home. I walked up to Kellan’s and stopped just before I made it to the door. There were people covering every inch of the patio. Some were walking to and from their cars, others were crowded around tables drinking and talking animatedly. My stomach felt weak as I finally took a step forward and pulled open the door. Screw this, if I was going to do it, I was going to fucking do it.
Immediately, I began looking around for her. I could feel pairs of eyes tracking my every move. I knew I should get a beer and find somewhere to sit down, but I needed to see her face first. Just once. Piper’s Uncle Jeff was someone I’d only met in passing since I’d moved back to Bradberry. He was a loner, the kind of guy who never married or had children. He only left his house to see his family and even that was an imposition for him.
Still, when I found out he passed, I was sad. My heart ached for the whole Prewitt family, but mostly for Piper. She hadn’t seen him in years, that much I knew, but I imagined the funeral would still be hard for her. I wanted to be there for her. So, even though I knew I shouldn’t, I went to Kellan’s hoping I would get a chance to talk to her again.
My eyes continued to roam around the room, searching for those curls and bright blue eyes. It wasn’t until I looked to the far corner of the bar that I saw her. She was sitting at a table with her sister Audra and her brother-in-law Jack. All three of them were staring right at me. They looked like they’d seen a ghost.
Not Uncle Jeff.
Me.
My heart skipped uncomfortably when my eyes met Piper’s. She didn’t look angry or upset. Her mouth was hanging slightly open in shock. In those few seconds, I took in every detail of her face. I let myself stare openly at her long, dark curls. They were cascading down her back and I wanted nothing more than to run my fingers through them. Her cheeks were flushed pink and her lips looked exactly like they always did right before I kissed them. After all those years of picturing her, I never imagined she could look even more beautiful.
When I found her eyes again, she was still staring at me with that same uncertain expression. She looked like she wanted to run screaming from the bar, but something was holding her in her seat. Her eyes were locked on mine, she was staring at me with an intensity I would recognize anywhere…