“That’s surprising,” I said. “I figured you would be dating at least.”
“I do,” she nodded. “A little.”
“Nothing serious?” I asked.
“Not since you,” Piper admitted. Good, I thought. I didn’t think I could take it if she’d found someone new. She stared down at the scone in her hand and we fell into an awkward silence. A stray curl fell into her face and I had to fight the urge to brush it aside. She was still so damn beautiful.
“What else has been going on?” I pressed. “Any new friends in the city?”
“Just my assistant, Ian,” Piper said. “He’s my best friend.”
“You have an assistant,” I laughed. “Fancy pants.”
“It’s not as exciting as it sounds,” Piper promised. “He’s more like an annoying little brother than anything.”
“Sounds like fun,” I said.
“It really is,” Piper nodded. “As cliché as it sounds, I’m really happy. I love my life.”
“That’s wonderful, Piper.” I was smiling like an idiot, but I couldn’t help it. Just sitting with her made me feel at ease. I could feel the tension leave my shoulders for the first time in months. I could have sat there with her all day and never once been bored.
“Your turn,” Piper said suddenly. I took a sip of my coffee and hesitated. There were so many things I wanted her to know, but even more that I didn’t. She was finally speaking to me. We were catching up. She seemed to hate me less. I didn’t want to ruin that by revealing my shortcomings.
Fourteen
Logan
“There’s not much to tell,” I said with a shrug. “I’ve been working. I retired a few months ago.”
“You did?” Piper asked. She raised her eyebrows in surprise. “Why?”
“There was a mission,” I began slowly. “Some things happened that shouldn’t have and my team was pretty messed up about it. We tried to stick it out, but in the end, we just weren’t the same men anymore. I was discharged honorably four months ago.”
“How was it?” Piper asked. “Before that? I mean, you spent your entire life waiting to be a SEAL. What was it like?”
“It was…” I searched for the right words. “Complicated, I guess. Complicated is the best way to describe it.”
“Tell me about it,” Piper pressed. “Please.”
“There are things I can’t really talk about,” I told her softly. “It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just…”
“You’re still dealing with it all,” she said with a nod. “I understand.”
“Yeah,” I said. “Thank you. It’s not easy. Coming back here and trying to adjust to civilian life. It was only five years, but after all the missions and training, I’m not the same person. I left a lot of myself behind when I left for Coronado and a lot more behind when I left the SEALs. I’m just trying to figure out where my place is now.”
“That makes sense,” Piper said with sympathy. “It seems like you’re doing really well though.”
“I’m trying,” I admitted. “I’m really trying. Sometimes, it’s still hard to overcome the darkness, but it’ll get easier.”
“It will,” Piper assured me. “I can’t possibly understand everything you went through, but I do know a little bit about who you are. I know you’re strong enough to find your way back. However long it takes.”
“In the beginning, it was perfect,” I told her. “It was everything I always thought it would be. I fell into a rhythm with my team almost immediately. We were seamless. Every mission we went on was a success. Even the ones that weren’t, we still all made it out in one piece. Things only went south at the very end. I loved it until then. That last mission… I don’t know if I’ll ever get past it.”
Piper reached over and took my hand. I could tell it was an instinct, something she did without thinking. When she realized what she’d done, she cleared her throat and tried to pull her hand away. I held onto it tightly.
“Piper,” I began. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?” she asked.