Kept

One

“So are you coming out with us tonight or not?”

I looked up at my adorable, bubbly, roommate Alexis. When I was sitting on the floor was the only time she actually looked tall. Her petite stature almost always felt like it was bursting at the seams with the energy that was built up inside her. She was the perfect, affluent college freshman. A cheerleader, in the Student Senate, and she had more money than God. I was lucky that we'd become friends during first semester, and she had offered to let me move into her apartment. Sure, I paid rent, but it wasn't anything much, and she didn't need it anyway. But sometimes, the differences in our worlds were really evident. I couldn't tell her that I couldn't go out tonight because I didn't have the twenty dollars to spend on drinks. And I knew that she would get some jock to pay for them anyway, but it made me uncomfortable knowing that if we couldn’t find someone, I wasn’t even sure if I could pay the cover charge.

“No, I have to work at the library.” Not exactly a lie, but I only had a couple hours to work. I would just hide out there or go to the gym until she left with the rest of our friends.

She stomped her foot, childishly. “You can never go out with us! I swear, why do you even bother working at the library?”

So I could afford food. “I just like the books. You know they're really hurting for people since break is coming up, and I said that I'd stay over break, so they've given me a lot of hours.” She still looked annoyed. “It's fine. I don't mind, really.” I was honestly really lucky to have the hours. And I would stay over break in order to pay my bills in January and February.

She shrugged, “I don't know how you maintain a job with our course load. But good for you.” We were both political science majors, but her minor was in business. I hadn’t made a decision about mine yet. Sometimes, I wondered if she was ever going to use her degree, or if she would just become a trophy wife like her mother had. Something else I was hiding from her.

“That's what's nice about working at the library. I can do my homework all I want. I mean, really, if I check out ten books the entire time I'm there tonight, it will be a miracle.” It was true that students didn't really need library aides anymore. We had a machine for them to check books out themselves if they needed them. But mostly, students used their laptops and did research online. Some came to the library to study, too. It was quiet with no distractions. As an employee, I was more there as security and a monitor than I was to help them find any research material.

She shrugged. “Well, you have a great time then, book nerd. I'm going to get ready to go out. There's this new club downtown, and I heard that they have a whole VIP section. Jake’s going to take me.” She smiled devilishly at the last sentence.

I gave her an assessing look. “Jake, huh? What happened to Stephen?”

She laughed. “Stephen was just a little too… I don't know, weak?”

I began to stack my books on the floor. I was studying in front of the television again, with three books spread out in front of me, way more than our coffee table could handle.

“I don't know how you study with the television on.”

I smiled. “It’s that documentary everyone is talking about, the one about that escort service. I think it’s all fake, but still pretty interesting. They said it’s here in Boston. Unbelievable, but a little hot.” I winked at her.

She shook her head at me, and walked away. “You have to help me pick out something to wear!” I heard her call from her bedroom. I finished stacking my books and then walked dutifully into her room. Even though our bedrooms were almost the same size, they looked completely different. Her furniture set matched, while mine did not. I'd hobnobbed a bedroom set together from local thrift stores and then painted the pieces bright colors, but it was only because of Pinterest that it even looked good. Everything of hers was brand-new and she had the only walk-in closet in the apartment. But she needed it. I only had a few outfits. I mostly just wore the same couple shirts, with a few different pairs of pants to class. But Alexis was totally different, her closet was completely full of Coach, Michael Kors, and every other designer name you could think of.

“So, what do you think for tonight? I definitely want to wear my new Gucci bangle bracelet, so I'll take my Gucci wristlet as well. Maybe that black number I bought when I was shopping with my mom last week? I mean, Jake would just have to be stupid not to come back here afterwards.”

I smiled at her. “The black dress it is. Just make sure your ass isn’t hanging out. You want him to come and get it, not come and have already seen it.”

“Excellent point. You better get to the library, I guess. I'll see you tomorrow morning.”

I looked at my cell phone to check the time, “Shit, yeah, I gotta get to work. I start my shift in ten minutes and you know it takes longer than that to walk across campus.” I grabbed some books off the table and shoved them in my backpack before waving goodbye to her as I shut the door.

As I got outside, I rifled through my backpack to pull out my scarf. I hadn’t worn anything more than hooded sweatshirt all day, but suddenly my neck was feeling exposed. This chill wind of winter nipped at my cheeks. I hustled across campus, feeling glad that I had running sneakers on to make it to work on time. In the dark, I saw the looming library standing before me. It looked a little scary at night, but I'd worked enough late nights to know that it would be quiet in there. It was my safety zone and even though it didn't give me a lot in the amount of a paycheck, it gave me an excuse for why I couldn't always do all the fun things that Alexis and her friends did. She hadn’t seemed to catch on yet. I think she thought my bedroom furniture, and lack of wardrobe was just because I was a hipster. But I wasn't. It didn't matter to me what she thought, as long as she didn't know that I was having trouble paying the rent.

The sliding glass doors greeted me with warm air as I entered the library. I quickly walked behind the counter because I saw one of the grad students coming down the stairs. If he knew I was late, I'd be in trouble. I typed my code into the computer just as he rounded the corner. I forgot how good he looked, even though he was a complete ass.

“Just on time, Calla?”

I smiled. “Always on time, Shane. I didn't know you were working tonight.”

He nodded. “Just you and me. We decided that we didn't need Julie tonight, so I sent her home. You're only working a two-hour shift though, right?”

I nodded again. “I mean, it's already nine. We’re only open until midnight.”

He looked me over, noticing my sweat pants and hooded sweatshirt. He knew I had no plans for after work. “Do you think you'd be a willing to stay until midnight? There's a party I want to go to.”

It was a Friday night on campus. There was always a party to go to. “Sure, I don’t have any other plans.”

He moved closer to me, close enough that I could smell his cologne. He bent down to whisper into my ear. “I'll give you the address if you want to join me. It's been a while since we've had any time together.”

I rolled my eyes, and pushed him back. We had agreed to not talk about that night. He hadn’t said anything about it since. “Whatever.”

When I first got the job at the library, it had maybe been in October, I had met Shane at a party. Alexis and I were just getting to know each other and she invited me out with some frat boys. Not really my scene as I was more the intellectual type of partier: coffeehouses and wine tastings. But I didn't want to ruin a potentially great friendship, so I went out with her.

Shane recognized me from my new position at the library, and offered me a little bit more to drink than I should have. It had only been one night, but every time I saw him since, I couldn't help thinking about it. Shane was dynamite in bed. He had the perfect just-past-college physique; he was lean, but with strong shoulders and a six-pack. As much as I had pushed him away the past couple months, I couldn't help that his offer sounded tantalizing. I hadn’t been seeing anyone, and really hadn't had any really good sex since him. Against my better judgment, I told him I was going upstairs.

“I've got some reference books to go through on the third floor. I'm not in the mood to go to your party, but I'll be up there probably for the next hour by myself. I might need some help with the heavier books.”

I took off my scarf and sweatshirt and left them on the chair at the circulation desk. Underneath that, all I had on was a little cami and a sports bra. I knew I was teasing him, and it probably wasn't fair, except that a small part of me wanted him to act on it. Shane made me feel dangerous. I walked up the stairs to the third floor, and made a sharp left to go into the darkest corner of the stacks. There wasn't a single person on the entire floor. I checked a couple of the study rooms just to be sure, but I was completely alone. I pushed the cart down to the last aisle, and started stacking some of the books about Art History in the Middle Ages. I had moved into the second row, which still wasn't very well lit at this time of night, when I felt a hand around my waist. I almost screamed, but I knew it was him. He had figured out my little game. He put his hand across my mouth, and spun me around towards him. When I turned around, I was looking directly into his beautiful blue eyes, almost hidden underneath shaggy blonde hair. They were reeling me in with every breath. “I get that you're not a party girl. You would prefer to be here.”

He removed his hand from my mouth, and I nodded. “It's quiet here. Nobody knows your secrets. The books can’t tell my secrets. People can.”

He had a smug half smile on his face. “Should we go to a study room?”

I took him by the hand, and led him across the aisle from where I was working into a secluded study room that was connected to the back of the elevator. No one ever used it, and it had its own light switch. I pulled him in by the front of the shirt, and he closed the door behind him. His back was against the door when I flicked off the light switch, so that we were plunged into almost darkness. There was just a glow coming from the lights outside in the Art History section. We could hardly see, but that just made it more interesting. He yanked off my top, and dragged his fingers along the back of my neck, and down my back until he reached my ass. He gave me a light slap before he started to kiss me.

I could feel his tongue breaching my lips, and I allowed him access to my mouth. We continued to kiss for only a minute more, before I broke free, and tossed my head back. He trailed kisses down my throat and collarbone. He slipped a finger under my sports bra, and began to pull it over my head just as he had with my shirt.

“We should do this every shift,” he murmured into my skin.

I could only nod; words were escaping me. I took a deep breath, and pushed my hands underneath his shirt. I pulled the tight shirt off easily, and threw it across the small room. I pushed him against the wall again, and pressed my body onto his. The warmth of his skin made my flesh tingle with excitement.

He ran his hands through my hair as we continued to kiss. But, as he released me, he moved his hands down to my waist, and then gently pulled down my pants. Shane wasn’t one to waste time on foreplay. He pulled them down to my knees, and then removed his own jeans. I stepped out of my shoes, and took my pants and underwear the rest of the way off.

I was completely naked, in the dark of the night. The only two people who may ever know about this were secluded in a small sweaty room on the third floor. It was everything.

He picked me up so that my legs swung around him, and he laid me on the wooden study table. My legs hung off the edge.

“I wish I could see you better,” I heard him whisper.

“Don’t you dare turn on that light.” I couldn’t let anyone know about this.

“So secretive.” Then he added, “Then you better be quiet. And if memory serves me right, you’re not.”

He spread my legs, and slipped his dick inside me. It was quick, and made my toes curl. He wrapped a hand loosely around my throat while he pumped in and out. He pulled on my shoulder for leverage, and I felt him push deeper into my folds. Suddenly, he pulled out and didn’t return. I pushed myself up on my elbows to see why.

He was bent down, and began kissing the inside of my thighs. Shit, now I was going to get loud.

“Grab me my pants,” I commanded.

“But I just started!”

“Just do it.”

He searched the floor until he found them, and then tossed them to me.