Kept

I shook my head and considered just leaving, but the internal struggle was too real. I pushed open the door with both of my hands, and as it swung open, I saw him put his cell phone in his back pocket.

“Are you going to tell me what that was about? Or is it just another one of your secrets?”

There was panic written all over his face. He was caught and he knew it. Good, I wanted him to squirm. To feel what I was feeling. Anger, distrust, disappointment. “Calla, please. I promise it is not what you think it is.”

“Then tell me what it is! Tell me everything, Hudson, because I swear to God, I feel like I only know you in bits and pieces. And now you want to go behind my back to make a deal with the detective?”

“It's not like that.”

“Then what is it like? You know I had nothing to do with the judge’s death. You saw me in the club that night. Did I look like I was about ready to murder somebody?”

He rubbed his forehead with his hands. “No. The detective is an old friend of mine, and I owed him a favor. He asked me to get close to you, to see if you knew anything more. This case has gotten national headlines. They just want to make sure they're getting the right person.”

“You know that it wasn't me. Right?”

“I know it wasn't you.”

“So, then, why try to get information from me? Why not just ask me?”

“I didn’t think you’d tell me. But now I know better. You're so different from the other girls. None of them are honest and genuine like you are. It's what I like about you.”

“Really? Because that’s not what you’re showing. People who like other people don't talk about them behind their backs. And they certainly don’t accuse them of murder!”

I had wanted Hudson, something real. But our entire relationship was based on a lie. He had just wanted information.

“Why did you owe him a favor?”

“It has something to do with business.”

“And what business is that? I haven't learned anything about you since we've been here. What do you do for a living, Hudson?”

He chewed on his lower lip, something about wanting to answer me, but his secretive nature stopped him. “If I told you that, you'd be in a lot of trouble. I'm not going to tell you. I want to keep these days, Calla. I don't know what it is about you that makes me feel something, but something does. I need to protect you.”

“No, you don't. You need to stay the hell away from me. Do not come back to the club. Our arrangement is over.”

I grabbed my bags and stormed out the front door. I told myself that if Hudson James ever came to me, I would turn him away. He wasn't hurt; he just couldn't be. Because, if he had been, he would have chased me down right then. But he didn’t. He just let me walk away.

Fifteen

I rode to the airport alone. I sent Alexis a text message as we left Hudson’s cottage.

I'm coming home. Alone. Don't ask.

I thought the driver would say something to me, about how he felt bad, or to have a nice trip, but he didn't. Just another reminder that everyone worked for Hudson James; none of us were actually involved with him. He had even told me himself that he didn't have any real friends. Now, I understood why. I did a couple shots on the plane, so I would fall asleep quickly. I didn't want to think about him the whole flight back. About how my chest hurt, or how I felt like I couldn't breathe without him near me. There was something about him that had drawn me in so quickly, and made me want to be around him. But now that I knew how easily he could hurt me, and that it had all been fake, I couldn't imagine having fallen so quickly for him. When the flight landed, there was a car for me, but I told them I would find my own way home. I didn't need any more of Hudson's favors. I didn't want to feel like I owed him anything.

I dialed Alexis's number and asked her for help instead. “Hey, it's me.”

“Hey! How was the trip?”

“It was great, for a while. But now I just need some Jack, Coke, and Ben & Jerry's. My three favorite men.”

“You still at the airport?”

“Yup. Bring the boys with you. I’m starting in the car.”

“Got it.”

She got to the airport about half an hour later, and she had a sports drink bottle and some chunky monkey with a plastic spoon. True best friend right there; doesn't ask questions, just does what she needs to. I didn't say anything on the ride home. Actually, I hardly remember getting up the steps, or into my apartment. But when I woke up the next morning, my bag was next my bed, and Alexis was sitting in a chair across the room.