He stops at the stairs and says, “You go first. That way if you fall I can catch you.”
I huff out a laugh. Because I’m quite capable of walking up steps. But then I realize two things.
One. I’ve never been up here before. And two. The steps are steep. Like whoever built them did so a hundred years ago before there were regulations.
They’re also narrow. But there’s two hand rails on either side and I grip them going up. Aiden is very close behind me. Almost touching me. In fact, I can feel his knees brushing up against the hem of my dress with each step. He grips the rails too, because every few steps I leave my hands in place a moment too long and his fingers brush against mine.
These small things send a shiver up my spine and make my skin burst out in goosebumps. Like I’m sixteen again and not thirty-four.
Has he always affected me this way? Or am I feeling this way because Kyle is gone now and Aiden is all I have left?
Hard to tell. A part of me has always dreamed about being with Aiden. But the other part knew that came with consequences. So maybe there were a few daydreams. A few what-if scenarios. But until now I knew that’s all they’d ever be.
Until now Aiden wasn’t all I had left. But do I care if that’s why I’m doing this?
Not really.
The landing at the top of the stairs is very small and cramped. Aiden has to reach past me to unlock his door. And I wonder for a second if this is his typical move when he brings girls home to his apartment?
You go first, I imagine him telling these interloper girls. So I can push you up against the door a little before we even get inside.
I let out a breath just as Aiden opens the door, and he says, “You OK?”
“Yup.” I lie. I’m not OK but I really want to be.
“Let me find a light.”
He pushes past me, hands on my hips as he maneuvers. And I think… Yup. This is Aiden Edwards’ little one-night-stand move number one.
But then his hands are gone and I miss them. I want them back.
The lights flick on and he’s got his back to me, looking down at his feet.
“You OK?” It’s my turn to ask.
He turns and smiles. With teeth. So a normal one, and I take his word on that. “What do you drink, Kali? I have no idea.”
“Why… martinis and mimosas, of course.”
He belts out a laugh that’s too loud, but also too genuine to care. “Whiskey it is.”
“Hmm.” I laugh too. Lips pressed together. “I guess you do know me.”
He walks over to the kitchen, taking his suit coat off as he goes. Tossing it over the back of a chair. “Not as well as I’d like,” he quips.
Then he sucks in a deep breath and pauses for a moment as he’s reaching to open a cabinet.
He looks over his shoulder and says, “That’s not why you’re here.”
“Why am I here?” I ask.
He shrugs, grabs the bottle, then two short glasses, and says, “Lots of reasons.”
“Name a few, “I say. Because I don’t know why I’m really here and I desperately want to know. And I also want to know if I’m reading him right.
I think we’re going to have sex tonight. I wouldn’t call it planned, but it’s not gonna be spontaneous either.
“Memories,” he says, pouring some whiskey into a glass. Then he pauses. “I don’t really know you anymore, Kali. And for some reason that really fucking bothers me tonight.” He pours the other glass, turns and walks over to me, then hands me mine. “Cheers,” he says. “To Kyle. Not just a best friend, but a brother.”
I just stare at him for a second. Because that was a loaded statement.
Did he say that because I’m the sister and he’s the best friend?
Or did he say that because he’s like a brother to me too, and what we’re going to do tonight is wrong on many levels?
But once I take a sip I decide I don’t care.
I hate this day and I want Aiden Edwards to be the person who wipes it all away.
CHAPTER FIVE – AIDEN
I down the whiskey in one gulp. And you know why? Because that’s how we drink it, Kyle and I. That’s how we get down to business when we decide to get drunk.
Kali takes a sip and I shake my head and laugh. “Oh, fuck that,” I say. “Fuck that.”
“Fuck what? What are you talking about?”
“You don’t get to sip it,” I say, suddenly feeling angry. “Fucking down it, Kali. Or you can’t drink with me.”
“What?” She laughs.
“I’m fuckin’ serious,” I say. And I am. I don’t know why, or where this is coming from, I’m just suddenly pissed off. “Down it or get out.”