Heidi sat on the chair next to him. “No, Papa. I wanted to talk to you alone.”
He took her hand. “Is anything wrong? Is your mother all right?”
She fought back tears again. He loved her mother so much, still concerned for her after she’d packed up and left him. Would that she could have such a love. She had. For a very short time, before it’d been snatched out of her hands. For money. She took in a deep breath.
“I’m ready to return to Oklahoma City, and marry Clarence.”
Papa’s eyes widened. “You are?”
Unable to speak, she merely nodded.
“Well, that’s certainly good news.” His smile faltered as his eyes searched her face. “Isn’t it?”
Heidi smiled. “Yes. I’m very excited.”
He studied her with narrowed eyes, and crossed his arms over his chest. “Why did I have the impression up until a few minutes ago you had feelings for Michael Henderson, and wanted to break off your engagement to Clarence?”
Unable to speak, she merely shrugged.
He reached over and clasped her hand. “Are you sure, Heidi?”
“My adventure is over.” Her voice sounded thick to her ears. “It’s time I grew up. Lived the life I’d been meant to live.” Before her voice broke completely, she hopped up. “So. I will be packing up tonight, and after I tell Michael…” She swallowed a few times. “I’ll be ready to board the train tomorrow.”
“If you’re absolutely certain.”
She nodded once more.
Papa took her hand and tugged. “Sit down.” He rubbed her hands between his. “Your hands are ice cold.”
“Winter.” She licked her lips.
“I must admit I’m happy to hear your decision. Clarence is a good man.” He shook his head. “I’m still amazed your mother left me. She seemed convinced you wanted to break your engagement, or at the very least, postpone the wedding for a while.” He tilted his head so he could look into her eyes. “Is that not true?”
“Papa, please. I know what I’m doing.” She stood, and slid her hands out from under his. “I have to return to Mrs. Wilson’s house.”
He placed the newspaper on the table alongside him. “I’ll retrieve the buggy from the livery and drive you.”
Heidi pulled her coat closer and sat, staring at the flames in the fireplace, as she waited for Papa. How would she ever survive this? She used her knuckle to wipe the tears gathered in the corner of her eyes. Only this morning, she’d been happier than she’d been in her whole life. Now she had no escape from her misery.
She remained silent on the short trip from the hotel to Mrs. Wilson’s house, her mind numb. Papa attempted a conversation once or twice, but after several one-word responses, he quit trying, and kept his eyes focused on the horses.
The buggy rumbled past the drug store, its “Closed” sign reflected in the street light. The very street light she’d walked into the night Michael hired her. Despite her misery, she smiled. When she sat in her cold lonely house after her marriage to Clarence, she would drag out her memories, the only thing she would have left.
Thoughts of Michael’s family teased her. The way they laughed together, baited each other, like siblings seemed to do. A wave of self-pity washed over her. She’d spent her entire childhood alone, no friends, no brothers or sisters. Now the emptiness would continue, life with a man she despised and who didn’t like her. No children to love. She coughed to cover the sob that rose from her throat.
At last they arrived at Mrs. Wilson’s house.
“Should I fetch your mother tonight from Michael’s house?” Papa asked as he reached for her hand to help her down.
“No.” she retorted-the word erupting much stronger than she intended. She took a deep breath. “I will speak with Michael in the morning, and then Mother can meet you at the hotel.”
Together, they walked up the steps. When she reached for the doorknob, Papa’s hand covered hers. “Heidi.”
She turned.
“Are you absolutely sure marrying Clarence is what you want?”
Anger coiled in her stomach. Where was his concern when she needed it, before Clarence hatched his blackmail scheme? Why couldn’t he have agreed to breaking her engagement weeks ago?