She nodded, and moved to stand.
Clarence held out his hand. “Not yet, though.” He rose, and settled next to her on the sofa. Heidi shifted away and tugged her skirt closer when his leg touched her.
He smirked. “No worry there, my dear. I have no desire to touch you.”
“Nor I you,” she muttered.
“But I’ll bet that shopkeeper had his filthy hands all over you.” His voice was low, menacing.
“I won’t discuss him,” she bit out.
“Tsk, tsk, Heidi. So grumpy this evening?” When she ignored him, he continued. “With our wedding only two days away, I hoped you would be a bit more cheerful.” He flipped his watch open once more. “No matter. Today, I made the arrangements for our honeymoon trip to Dallas. The tickets will be delivered to me tomorrow. You’ll have your own compartment, down the hall from mine. Be sure to pack enough gowns for two weeks. There will be dinners and parties in our honor, and I expect you to present yourself as a proper, loving wife.”
“Go to hell, Clarence.”
“Heidi! Such language. Did you learn to talk that way from your shopkeeper?” He leaned close to her ear, his breath on her cheek. “Did he utter dirty words in your ear while you were in his bed?”
She reared back, and before she could stop herself, slapped him in the face. “I hate you.” Clarence smiled, his jaw tightening. “Don’t ever slap me again, my dear. I can return the favor. Which I will, tenfold, if you ever try that again. Remember, once we’re married, you’ll be under my control. You will do what you’re told, or pay the consequences.”
Heidi stood, and shook out her skirts. “I believe you said you were leaving?” She headed to the parlor door, yanking it open with such vigor, it slammed against the wall.
“Heidi, is everything all right?” Her mother hurried down the hallway, her brows furrowed.
“Yes. Fine, Mother. Clarence is on his way out.” She moved ahead of him, threw the massive wooden door open, then glared at him. “Good night.”
Clarence bowed, and kissed her on the cheek. “Don’t forget Senator Cochran,” he mumbled. Then wishing her mother good evening, he stepped onto the porch and closed the door.
Heidi clutched her skirts and raced up the stairs, tears flooding her face. How could she endure the rest of her life with him? She fumbled with the doorknob of her bedroom, her hands shaking. Once inside, she flung herself on the bed, and sobbed, pounding her fists on the pillow.
She would demand a separate house. In another town. Even another state. She rolled onto her back, her arms crossed over her chest and studied the ceiling. Deep shuddering breaths did nothing to calm her.
Two days. In forty-eight hours her life would be over, no less so than if she were dead. She actually preferred death. Turning onto her side, she resisted the temptation to suck her thumb, a habit she’d given up years ago.
Heidi closed her eyes, and Michael’s beloved face drifted before her. Tears leaked from under her eyelids and dropped onto the bedspread. How she loved him, and desperately missed him. His smile, his touches, his love. The feel of his strong arms as he embraced her, the heat from his body as he kissed her.
Making love with him had changed her forever. Thank God Clarence didn’t intend to have her as a real wife. After being with Michael, she shivered to imagine Clarence putting his hands on her, and doing the things she and Michael had done together.
He’d been so gentle and caring, making sure he didn’t hurt her, loving her with his eyes, hands, mouth, and body. Oh how she wished they’d had more time together.
Her eyes popped open, and she sat up abruptly, clutching her middle. Her lips curved in a tenuous smile. She’d not had her monthlies since they’d made love. The bleeding should have arrived two weeks ago.
Could she be carrying Michael’s child?
Heidi slid off the bed and paced, unable to stop her heart from pounding. Maybe the emotional turmoil since she’d left Guthrie had put her courses off. She shook her head. No. Now that the fog of her misery lifted a bit, her early morning nausea the past week took on a different meaning. Her hands moved up to her breasts. Yes, definitely tender. Oh God, how could she marry Clarence while she carried Michael’s child?
She paced again, eying the large roses in a pattern on the rug covering the worn wooden floor. This discovery would remain her secret. She giggled. It couldn’t remain a secret for long. A burst of joy shot through her. Michael’s child! She’d have someone to love, someone who loved her back.
Her smile faded as a dark cloud moved over the sun of her happiness. How could she not tell Michael about his child?
Oh Michael, what have I done to you?
****
Heidi held her hair back as her stomach heaved over the chamber pot. Once finished, she poured a glass of cool water, swished the welcoming liquid around her mouth, and spit it out. Her gaze swung to the door at the knock. She shoved the chamber pot under the bed. “Come in.”
Mother entered, closed the door, and leaned against it, her eyes wide. “You’re having a baby.”
Heidi drew herself up. “What do you mean?”