This time tomorrow, she would be married to Clarence. He’d told her on his last visit they would take the train to Dallas right after the wedding breakfast. She’d packed all the new gowns the dressmaker had sent yesterday. Although she’d never been to Texas before, she felt no excitement for the planned trip.
She didn’t care about the new gowns, petticoats, frilly nightgowns, and undergarments the dressmaker had gushed over when she’d delivered them. Nor the beautiful sapphire necklace Papa had given her this morning. She felt dead inside. Numb and cold where her heart should be.
Her hand moved to her belly. It would be some time before her condition became obvious. Knowing a small part of Michael lived inside her, soothed the ache in her heart.
Clarence had smiled cheerfully when he’d related his plans to have her installed in her own room at the Dallas hotel while he and Gloria shared another. Since no one knew of her humiliation except the three of them, relief flooded her at not having to spend any more time with him than absolutely necessary.
Once they returned from the honeymoon travesty, she would insist on a house of her own, out in the country, away from the noise and prying eyes of the city. There she would nurture the baby growing inside her, eating all sorts of good, healthy food, growing very fat. She would knit little blankets and hats for her baby, and when the time came, she would hold in her arms the child she and had Michael made with their love. Tears pooled in her eyes. Oh, if only he could share all this with me.
“Is everything all right?” Papa watched her with concern.
“Yes. Fine.” She attempted a smile. “Perhaps a little melancholy about leaving my home tomorrow.”
“You won’t be far away.”
She winced at the reference to the large, fancy house Clarence had chosen for them, only a few blocks from her parents. A house she had no intention of ever living in. He could have all the fancy houses he wanted. All she wanted was a cozy little place for her and the baby.
When the warmer weather arrived, she would plant flowers, and maybe even a vegetable garden. She would invite Mother for tea, and they would sit in the warmth of the sun in her garden, anticipating the birth of her child as their fingers kept busy sewing baby clothes. For Michael’s child.
“I’m home.” Mother’s voiced drifted in from the front hall, dragging Heidi from her musings.
The dining room door opened, and her mother peeked in, then swung the door wide as she entered. “You’re still at dinner. Good, I’m starved.” She dropped a quick kiss on Papa’s head, and settled in the chair to his left. Flicking her napkin, she laid the cloth on her lap, and reached for the platter of meat.
“Did you have a productive afternoon, my dear?” Papa pushed his empty plate back, and smiled at Mother.
“Oh, most productive. I can’t tell you how happy I am with all I accomplished.” She cut a piece of the beef and brought the morsel to her mouth. “Mmm. This is so good.”
“What did you have to finish up, Mother? I thought everything had all been settled?”
She waved her hand, and forked mashed potatoes into her mouth with her other hand, then swallowed. “Just a few last minute details. Nothing to trouble yourself about.” She glanced at Heidi’s plate. “You need to eat, dear.”
Heidi pushed the food around her plate. “Maybe later, I’m feeling a bit queasy right now.”
“You’re not getting ill, are you?” Papa asked.
She shot a quick glance at her mother, who smiled. “No, Papa, probably only bridal nerves.”
“Well I hope so. You’ve been moping around here entirely too much lately. No way for a bride to act, I must say.” He pushed his chair back. “Please excuse me, my dear,” he addressed Mother, “but I still have a few ledgers to work on.”
“Certainly. I’ll finish my dinner.” She turned to Heidi. “I think I’ll treat myself to a long, leisurely bath and retire early.” She winked. “Tomorrow will be a most eventful day.”
“Yes.” Heidi glanced sideways as she dragged the word out. Her mother’s mood had greatly improved since this morning.
Well, you told her you wouldn’t change your mind, so why would she continue to fret? Let her enjoy her role as the bride’s mother.
“A bath sounds like a good idea. I think I’ll do the same. Enjoy the last one in my home.” Her voice caught on the last words.
Mother reached over and patted her hand. “It will be all right.”
Heidi shook her head and stood. She ran her palms up and down her arms and headed to the door.
“Trust me, my dear daughter,” Mother said as she stabbed carrots on her plate and forked them into her mouth. “Mmm, this is good.”
****
Michael stopped his buggy under the covered drive on the side of Tori and Jesse’s house. He patted his jacket pocket to assure himself the letter remained tucked securely in there, and bounded up the steps.
“Anybody home?” He called from the door, as he stepped into the entrance hall.