No, it won’t be anything fancy. We’re not fancy people.
That makes me look around my bedroom and sigh. My perfectly neutral color scheme. My modern, yet classic furniture. What happened to me? Where did I lose myself? Where did my past go?
I don’t know, but I’m ready to find it again.
CHAPTER NINETEEN – AIDEN
Dinner was the wrong move. Fancy French restaurants aren’t our thing. At least it wasn’t. Maybe Kali has changed. It’s possible she’s even changed so much this won’t interest her anymore. But if she’s the girl I fell in love with all those years ago, then this is what a good time looks like.
Tonight I’m wearing the only outfit I have. Faded jeans, favorite boots, plain white t-shirt. Kali keeps staring at my arms in the car, enamored—I think—with the sight of my tattoos. I’m driving, since this is a surprise, so I can’t look at her the way I’d like.
But I don’t need to look at her to see her. I could close my eyes and see Kali Anderson’s face no matter where I was or what I was doing.
Tonight she looks more like the girl I knew and less like the girl I don’t. Her jeans are designer and her top is a flirty pink tank with off-the-shoulder ruffles for straps.
“When did you start getting those?” Kali says.
“What?”
“The tattoos.”
“Oh,” I say, looking down at my arms. “I dunno. Twenty-two, maybe?”
“Twenty-two,” she echoes. “Wow. I’ve really been avoiding you, haven’t I?”
I look at her and wink. “It’s all good. We’re here now.”
“I didn’t even know,” she says, not quite feeling my all-good attitude. “It’s like you turned into this other guy while I was away and—” But then she stops. “No. No, that’s not it. It’s like I turned in to this other girl while I was away and you… you just naturally became who you really are.”
“Funny you should say that,” I tell her. “Because the tattoos, all the writing, you know? It was a way to remind me of who I was. There was a time when Kyle and I weren’t seeing eye to eye on the business. I wanted to make it bigger. Expand. Maybe into the city. But Kyle never did. He said we’re good enough. People will come to us. I didn’t believe him back then, but he was right. People come from all over to hire us, or buy Jeeps from us. Hell, we sold one to Japan a couple years ago.”
“You had bigger dreams?” Kali asks.
“I guess,” I say. “Or maybe I just wanted an excuse to see you.” I glance over at her and wink.
“You could’ve come to see me any time, you know.”
“And you could’ve come home.”
“Hmmm,” she says. “So what made you change your mind? About expanding?”
“You got a boyfriend,” I say.
“What year was this?”
“Two years after Kyle graduated.”
“Oh,” she says. “That guy. Didn’t last long. Only about eight months. I’ve never been in a long-term relationship. Have you?”
“Not really. I dated a girl from a crawler competition once. On and off for a couple years. But her family’s shop was based in Utah so it was mostly casual hook-ups when we had time.”
“You didn’t love her?”
“Nah,” I say, glancing at her again. “You’re the only one I could see myself with, Kal. It’s always been you.”
“Why didn’t you say something? I mean, God. I would’ve loved to know that. I would’ve made an effort.”
“See,” I say, “that’s the thing. It shouldn’t have to be an effort. I knew as long as you were in the city doing your thing, living your dream”—she laughs, but I continue—“it was never gonna work. And I figured… I’d rather wait for the perfect time than risk us ruining the idea. If that makes sense. In my mind you and me, we were always a possibility, ya know? And if we gave it a try and failed, then that was it. It always felt like there was just one chance. I don’t know why, that’s just how it felt. It took us a while, but I think this is our chance.”
I flick my turn signal and Kali looks out the window to where we’re going. We’re well outside the city limits, but not even halfway back to our home town.
“Go-karts?” She laughs. “Oh, man. This place brings back memories.”
Which was the whole point. I know that wasn’t the plan. The plan was no Kyle this weekend. But it was a dumb plan. He’s part of us. He will always be part of us.
As soon as Kyle and I got his Jeep running during our teens this is where we’d go on the summer weekends. Kyle was always looking for girls with our other high-school friends. Always looking for romance. But Kali and I would just buy a night’s worth of rides and race around the track. Hours and hours of racing, and laughing, and friendly competition. I figured Kyle was OK with that. We weren’t really alone together. Couldn’t even talk. It was all about meaningful glances across the track as we did our best to beat each other across the finish line. And then, when we ran out of rides, it was about playing pinball and videos games.