On My Knees (Stark International Trilogy 2)

“Sylvie!”

I squat down so I’m eye level with her. “Very good. How did you know that?”

“’Cause Uncle Jackson said you’re pretty.”

I tilt my head up to see him. “Oh, he did, did he?”

“Yup. Who am I?”

“You are Ronnie.”

“Yes!” She holds out a hand covered with goat spit, clearly wanting a high five.

I happily oblige.

“More food?” Having finished the greetings, she’s ready to get back to the goats. I stand and slide into Jackson’s embrace. “She’s darling.”

“She really is.”

From a few yards away, I hear a woman calling, “Jackson! Finish up, okay? The taxi’s waiting.”

“That’s Megan?”

“Yes. Stay with Ronnie a minute?”

“Sure.” I take the bag of goat food and join the little girl.

And though I’m honestly not trying to eavesdrop, I can’t help but overhear bits of their conversation, which consists of Megan insisting they have to go, and Jackson asking her to reconsider, promising to bring Ronnie to the hotel in plenty of time for them to catch their evening flight.

Megan sticks to her guns, though, and after a moment, Jackson calls me over, indicating that Ronnie can stay at the pen. I join them, and as he introduces us, I try to form an opinion of this woman. I know she’s a friend of Jackson’s, I know he cares about her, and I know she’s dealing with a lot of problems. But I’m also seeing a woman who seems overly harsh, problems or not. After all, the poor kid has only been to the petting zoo and the grounds are practically a fairground of children’s activities today. So my desire to like her is tempered by my feeling that she’s being unreasonable.

And, yeah, that whole jealousy thing still lingers.

After the introductions, Jackson goes back to gather Ronnie, and I hang behind. “If you’re worried about him watching her while he does the community service thing, you don’t need to be. I’m happy to help.”

“No. That’s not it. She just needs to come with me.”

“But if he’s willing to watch her and bring her—”

“That’s not his job.” She snaps out the words, and I decide that I should probably keep my nose out of this.

I go with Jackson to put them in the taxi. I give Ronnie a big hug and get a sloppy kiss on my cheek in return. Jackson does the same, and is similarly rewarded. He hugs Megan, and we stand back as the taxi pulls out, watching the little girl waving at us from the window.

“God, I adore that kid.”

“I’m not surprised. She’s pretty adorable.”

“I’m sorry you didn’t meet Megan at her best. She’s under a lot of stress.”

“I get it,” I say. “Single parenting must be hard. What about Ronnie’s biological dad?”

Jackson hesitates, then shakes his head. “He wasn’t in the picture.”

“That’s a shame.”

Jackson leads the way down a stone path, and I walk beside him, holding his hand.

“Is it?”

I look at him, confused. “What?”

“It’s just that everyone says it’s hard to grow up without a father. But look at you and me. We probably would have been better off.”

I consider what he says, and I can’t deny there’s merit. “I guess it’s the kind of question that can only be answered in the specific. How can we say which would be better for Ronnie without knowing all the details? As for you and me—” I cut myself off with a shake of my head. “These are the kinds of big philosophical questions you shouldn’t discuss without wine. Because if I grew up without a dad, does that mean Ethan would have died?”

He looks at me, then kisses my forehead. “I guess all we can do is live the life we have.”

“Together?”

“Absolutely.”

“Good answer,” I say.

We pause to watch some kids playing catch with parents and volunteers. I lean against him, and he wraps his arms around me. It feels nice. It feels comfortable. And though I don’t want the moment to end, I can’t help the way my mind wanders, thinking about this place, these people. Ollie. Charles.

“You tensed up,” Jackson says, and I frown for being so transparent. “What are you thinking?”

“About what Damien said Friday night,” I admit. “About Reed bringing a civil lawsuit now that the criminal one is wrapped.”

“Mmm.”

“I saw Charles. Have you talked to him about that?”

“That and other things,” Jackson says. “He thinks it’s likely Reed will use the threat of a civil suit as leverage. And since I pled guilty to assault, it’s pretty much a lock.”