Her eyes met his. “I’ve tried. Really I have.” She walked over to the window, hugging her middle as she gazed out. “You’re a wonderful man, Jesse. Don’t think I haven’t noticed. I finally appreciate how much you cared about our baby. The baby that I killed.”
“Honey, don’t start that again.”
She turned and held up her hand. “Please let me finish.” Tears tracked down her face. “You deserve so much more than me. You deserve a wife you can trust, not a stubborn woman that was forced on you.”
Jesse shook his lowered head. “You have it all wrong. Maybe the pregnancy pushed us to the altar, but I know deep down we’re meant to be together. It would have happened eventually, we both know that.”
“I don’t know what I know. I’m so confused, and so, so unhappy.”
Sweat beaded his forehead. He’d lost her. This was not his Tori, the spitfire with a spine of steel. Before him stood a broken woman, twenty pounds thinner, with dark circles under her eyes and misery painted on her face. He reached his hand out, praying she would take it. “Please.”
She shook her head again, then moved away and closed the satchel. Without glancing his way, she picked up the bag and brushed past him, her familiar scent trailing her.
Jesse’s gaze followed her retreating back. “This isn’t finished by a long shot, Tori Cochran. Do you hear me? You may have it in you to give up, but I’m no quitter, and I’m not giving up.” His voice rose as her every step carried her further away.
She paused, her hand on the doorknob. His heart sped up as her shoulders rose when she took a deep breath. Then she walked out the door, closing it behind her with a soft click.
Chapter 13
Tori gazed out the front window. Early February, and Oklahoma Territory had already slid its way through two ice storms. She smiled. Mrs. Bonner had sworn her arthritis told her snow for today. With the storm clouds and low temperatures, it appeared possible.
Bits of debris blew past her window in swirls from the rising wind. The sunshine of the day had disappeared, leaving enough light so darkness would not fully descend for a while.
The time of day she hated most. She shivered as memories rose. The smell of death, the silence broken only by labored breathing. A small, cramped bedroom with large yellow-flowered wallpaper. Her mama had released one soft sigh and dropped the young girl’s hand. Through tear-filled eyes, a very young Tori watched the sun dip below the horizon, while her papa sobbed. She rubbed her hands over her upper arms, even though the house was warm enough.
Her life was going nowhere. Neither Michael nor Rachel appreciated her moving back. They resented her intrusion into their independent lives, and voiced their disapproval of her decision to leave Jesse. She didn’t belong anywhere. Nobody needed her, not students, who she wouldn’t teach again, nor her nieces and nephews.
Jesse needs you. And you need him. Admit it.
A movement caught her eye. The man of her thoughts fought the wind as he crossed the street and headed for her house. True to his word, he hadn’t given up, and stopped in to see her several times a week. She giggled when the wind caught his hat and whipped it down the street. He ran, snatching it right before a team of horses could trample it.
He continued to brush the brown felt derby as he entered. Her spirits lifted a little at the sight of him, red-faced from the wind, and breathless from his run. His lopsided grin shot straight to her heart, kicking it up a notch.
He’s still the handsomest man in Guthrie.
“Hi, darlin’, these are for you.” A sad looking bouquet of something he must have picked himself emerged from underneath his coat. Where had he even managed to get the few sorry blossoms this time of year?
She shook her head and smiled. “What are you doing, Jesse?” Warmth spread from her belly to her face.
“I’m inviting you to supper, Mrs. Cochran. I asked Mrs. Bonner to make something special. She’s expecting us presently.”
“Oh, Jesse, I don’t think so.” Her smiled collapsed. If she went out with Jesse in public, all sorts of rumors would start.
“You can’t disappoint the woman. She said she’s looking forward to seeing us.” He took her coat off the hook, and held out his hand. “Please?”
She laughed at his antics, which were persuasive. His crooked grin and smiling eyes chipped at her resolve to keep him at arm’s length. “All right.” With a soft sigh, she turned so he could help her into her coat. It would be good to get out of the house.
Cozy warmth and wonderful smells inside the Café enveloped her and caused stirrings of hunger for the first time in a long while. For months she’d eaten whatever sat on her plate, not paying attention as long as it filled her stomach. Now she identified various smells teasing her belly, making it rumble. A table set for two, adorned with a white tablecloth and candles, the only one of its kind, sat in the back of the restaurant.
Jesse took her coat and escorted her to the table. After pulling out her seat, he took the chair across from her. Mrs. Bonner appeared within minutes, holding two plates of sizzling steaks, roasted potatoes, and fresh carrots. Her flushed face and bright smile warmed Tori’s insides. The older woman had been such a good friend, visiting her, encouraging her to get out of the house. Mr. Bonner, with a white towel over his arm, set a basket of hot rolls between them with a flourish. Jesse winked at them both as they left.
“This smells wonderful.” Tori cut into the juicy steak, closed her eyes, and groaned as she slipped a piece of perfectly cooked meat into her mouth.
“What?” Tori frowned at Jesse’s open-mouthed stare.
“Ah, nothing. Just, ah, you sure seemed to be enjoying that steak.”
She smiled and ran her tongue around the outside of her mouth. “I am.”