The next morning, silence filled the kitchen as Damian fixed coffee and Kerry toasted bread for their breakfast. He placed a few, half full boxes of cereal on the table and grabbed the milk from the fridge. The sound of bowls, napkins and silverware rattling made the silence so much more noticeable. Tension descended as they took their seats and began to eat, their eyes averted.
“Are you driving to Tulsa today?” Might as well get it over with, find out if she’d done any thinking during the night.
“Yes.”
His gut clenched. “So—what? You’ll pack everything up and head to Albuquerque?”
Kerry laid her spoon alongside her almost full bowl of cereal. “That’s always been my plan.”
“Ah, yes. The plan.” He pushed his half eaten bowl of Cheerios away, and then leaned back, crossing his arms. “Nothing must interrupt the plan.”
“Stop it.” Her chin quivered and a lone tear slid down her cheek.
The tears on the edge of her lids almost stopped his heart. He reached over and covered her hand with his. “I’m sorry, darlin’. I don’t want to see you cry.”
Kerry swiped at her cheeks. “You’ll never understand. This is something I have to do.”
“Why? What are you afraid of?”
She raised her chin, spots of red appearing on her cheeks. “I’m not afraid. That’s precisely why I’m doing this.”
“Sorry, sweetheart, but you are afraid. Afraid to take a chance. To give us a chance.”
“You really think that’s what this is all about? That I’m afraid?” She stood, leaned against the counter and closed her eyes for a moment. “Okay, maybe I am afraid, but not of taking chances.”
Pushing away from the counter, she paced. “Oh, I feel this link between us. Yes, indeed, do I feel it. But I can’t allow my heart to rule my head. I have to know I can count on myself, not someone else.” She fisted her hands on her hips. “You don’t know what it’s like to think of yourself as some incompetent nothing who can’t go even one day without someone telling you what to do, where to go, how to dress.”
“You’ve been on your own for over a year.”
“No. Not on my own. Cody’s parents took over where he left off.” She placed her hands on her hips and tilted her head. “Kerry, you should sell the house and buy something smaller. Of course you’re going on vacation with us, we
always go together. Dad will be by to check on that problem you’re having with the sump pump. Your hair is getting too long, should I make an appointment for you with my hairdresser?” She smiled sadly. “And their good intentions never let up.”
“Now hold on a minute.” Damian rose, and placed his hands on her shoulders. “You forget, I saw you in action. Darlin’, I was there when you took charge of an emergency and delivered a baby in the back seat of my truck. You were cool, calm, and professional. Nothing rattled you, even though I was scared spitless.”
Kerry waved her hand in dismissal. “That’s what I’m trained to do.”
“What? Deliver babies in trucks? Really? I didn’t realize they covered that in nursing school.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, you know what I mean.”
“Yes. And you know what I mean. You’re a competent, intelligent woman. If you’ve allowed yourself to be manipulated by other people in the past, so what? You’re aware of it, and won’t fall into that trap again.
“And who doesn’t, at one time or another find, themselves in a situation where they don’t have control? Does that mean for the rest of your life you’ll avoid relationships because you may have to surrender a bit of your independence?” He paused to take a deep breath. “My mother and sisters are all strong women. None of their husbands would attempt to tell them what to do.” He hung his head and shook it. “I would never try to control you, darlin’. I fell in love with the strong woman you are. No way would I ever want to change that.”
Her lips tightened into a thin line. “I need to go now. I have a lot to do.”
Damian stared at her for a moment until her cheeks flushed. Then he pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head. “All right.”
He drove her to Boz’s garage and braked next to her repaired car.
She reached for the handle and turned to him. “I’m sorry, Damian. I really don’t want to hurt you.”
He touched her cheek. “When you decide to choose your heart over your independence, I’ll be waiting.” He leaned over and kissed her on the forehead, then watched as she left the truck and threw her laptop, purse, and small suitcase into the back seat of her car.
Kerry climbed in, fastened the seat belt, then studied him for a full minute. He gave her a quick two finger salute and watched her disappear into traffic... dragging his heart along with her.
Chapter Nine