The Sexpert

Gasps erupt and the whole room is commotion again.

“I’m the Sexpert, Pierce. Me. Not her. So let her go.”

“What? You!” Pierce bellows. And then he looks at Andrew. “You’re—you’re… cupcake girl?”

“Yes,” I say. Too loudly. Because the microphone screeches and people cover their ears. “Me. And my cupcakes. We’re the Sexpert. And I’d just like to go on record that…”

Shit. I have no speech to give. I don’t know what to say. But I have to say something because two hundred sets of eyeballs are now focused right on mine.

“I and my business partner, Zoey Cooper, absolutely did not steal your idea.”

And that’s when I notice the cameramen. Stalking up the middle aisle of the auditorium towards me, little blinking red lights letting me know that this is being recorded.

“You did!” Pierce yells. “That was my idea! I’d been percolating it for a year and then you came along—“

“I came along and made it up myself,” I say, sounding very lame. But I have no choice. I’ve started something here and now I have to finish it. “And my business partner and I had to do something to make ends meet, OK? Because… because my job is shit, and she’s a single mom who gets no child support, and I was tired of living at home and she needs a backyard. So yeah. We invented the Sexpert. And I put myself out there and made those videos. And for one year nothing happened. Nothing. All that work and no payout. And then one day we’re on the radio, and we go viral, and then you come out of nowhere, Pierce. You. Not me. I was already here. And you accuse us of stealing. Well, it’s not right! We did this on our own.”

I stop to catch my breath.

“We did it to survive. And…”

Everyone is quiet now. And I suddenly realize what I’ve just done.

“And I only have one more thing to say.” Everyone is looking and it’s dead quiet. “I quit.”

I take a deep breath. Hold my head up high. Straighten my professional jacket. Walk down the stairs silently chanting, Do not fall. Do not fall. Do not fall.

And I do not fall.

I walk out.

And as I’m making my way back to Sunset Towers, crying, I pull out my phone and call Zoey.

And I don’t care if I’m a hypocrite, because she picks up on the first ring and lets me cry all the way back to my apartment, saying nothing except, “It’s OK, Eden. Whatever it is, we’ll fix it.”

And that’s how you know you have a good friend.

Because they’re there for you.

Even when you weren’t there for them.

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR – ANDREW

I thought I knew what I was feeling, but it turns out I don’t.

Last night it was anger. Just the thought of being lied to was enough to ignite a small fury inside me. That’s how I got through the reveal. That’s what kept me going even though her feelings were painted plainly on her face as I exposed her.

That little rage was enough fuel.

But then… after she walked out on me it kinda burned itself out. Or changed states or something. Like heat turning water into steam.

It became indignation. Maybe a little bit of self-righteousness.

After all, I wasn’t the one who lied.

“What the fuck?” Pierce says.

I look over at him. He’s stuck in some position that is half turning, half walking away, like a statue. But then he completes the turn and stands facing me.

“Yeah. What the fuck?” I mutter to myself, glancing back at the door through which Eden disappeared a few seconds ago.

Myrtle is shrugging off Pierce’s goons, trying to gather up her usual comportment of mystery. She shoots us a look. Or rather, she shoots Pierce a look. Daggers actually.

I glance at Pierce and see him automatically recoil. Like her gaze is a laser beam that burns. “How did we get this so wrong?” he asks.

“We?” I laugh. “We didn’t get anything wrong. I knew.”

“You knew? Since when?” Pierce says.

“Um… I mean… well, last night is when I found out for sure. But—“

“Last night?” Pierce says. “Last night? You knew it was Eden last night?”

The irony of him getting her name correct now isn’t lost on me. “Well, yeah, but—“

“And you let me embarrass Myrtle like that? Dude? Andrew, mon frère. My ami. You know I love you. Would do anything for you. But my God! Why the fuck would you let me do this, then?”

“Uh… well…” I sigh..

“You… You lied to me?”

“No,” I say, looking Pierce dead in the eye. “No. I was trying to make everyone happy. I was trying to get her to admit… I mean, I knew, but I kept quiet because…”

But then it kinda clicks into place.

That whole puzzle-solving thing I like to do.

“She was lying,” I say. Because I’m reaching. “She was keeping a secret, man. And you know.”