Aria laughed but it was strained.
Lily touched my shoulder but I took her hand and rested it against my stomach. She smiled brightly. “Oh! That’s wonderful. You’re baking a little hothead.” She caught herself and glanced between Aria and me.
I gave her a small smile.
“You know that Matteo wants to raise this baby as his own, right?” Aria said suddenly.
Lily gave her a look but I could tell that they had talked about it before. The thought that they had discussed Matteo and me before didn’t sit well with me.
I stared down at my belly that I was still cradling. Ignoring a painful truth was something I was surprisingly good at.
“I know,” I admitted. “I can see it when he looks at my belly.” When he’d felt Peanut kick for the very first time, the wistful look in his eyes had almost killed me.
“Oh,” Aria said. She searched my face. “But you never talked about it?”
I shook my head. I’d always considered myself brave but this time I was a despicable coward. Too scared of what Matteo would say.
She frowned. I could see a hint of disapproval on Aria’s face but she didn’t say anything. Sometimes I wished she’d rage and scream at me. Maybe I needed it.
“Why?” Lily asked gently.
“I don’t know…” It wasn’t the truth but I was a coward. I was terrified that Matteo’s longing would mirror a feeling deep inside of me I didn’t want to allow.
“Is it because you don’t want the baby?” Lily prodded.
Aria was oddly quiet and she wasn’t looking at me. She and Luca had always wanted a third kid and they had stopped trying because they were supposed to adopt my kid. Hell, she’d been happier about my pregnancy than me in these last few months. If I wanted to keep the child now, how would she feel? They’d prepared a nursery for my child. She’d hidden from the public for months to keep up our charade. All for me and Matteo and Peanut. Could I take that from her?
This was a mess, one I wasn’t sure I could get out of.
Aria met my gaze. “You want the child as well, Gianna.”
I stared at her. “No… I mean… I don’t know.”
She touched my chest over my heart. “You have four weeks, maybe less, decide if you really still want to be nothing but an aunt for this child. Listen to your heart, Gianna, and then make your decision, be sure of it. Please, if you know deep down that you want this child, then say it before it’s born. Don’t let me and Luca act like its parents, only to take that from us. Because, of course, we would always give you your baby back but it would rip our hearts out.” She stepped back, turned and left.
As I watched her, I started crying. Lily wrapped her arms around me sideways because our bellies didn’t allow anything else, kissing my cheek. “You already made up your mind, didn’t you?”
I closed my eyes and nodded, my hand touching my belly. “I’m always making such a mess of things. That’s the only thing I’m good at.”
“Shhh. Aria and Luca will understand. They will be happy for you and Matteo.”
“But they want another kid. They stopped trying because of me. And now they don’t get my baby. They wasted almost a year because of me.”
“They will understand, Gianna. Aria is a mother. She knows what it does to a woman to feel your baby move inside you. This is your baby. It always was.” I buried my face in Lily’s neck and she stroked my hair. “And Aria will be pregnant in no time, I’m sure. The last two she got pregnant without really trying and when you got pregnant, she’d only stopped taking the pill two months before. Next year she’ll have her own baby.”
She pulled back with a soft smile. “Now go talk to Matteo.”
I nodded. “Thank you, Lily.”
My pulse sped up as I walked through the house. It took me a while to find Matteo and only because I heard his voice in passing. I knocked at the office door then stepped in. Luca and Matteo were talking. “I need to talk to you.”
Luca set down his glass and moved toward me. I thought he’d leave but he stopped close to me, his eyes hard. “Don’t mess this up.”
I didn’t get a chance for a comeback because he left. I finally faced Matteo and my heart constricted at the look in his eyes. I walked toward him and grabbed his hand, pressing it to my belly. “I want this baby,” he said before I could say anything.
I smiled. “I know.”
Matteo frowned. “Okay.” He hesitated. “I can take most of the responsibility but…”
“Don’t be stupid,” I muttered. “We will raise this baby together. I want it too…”