The Dirty Ones

There was no furniture in the tower that first night. It was bare, and cold, and dark because there was no electricity. Just a few candles lit up in the center of the room. We were sitting cross-legged around them. Except Emily. She was pacing in circles around the perimeter of the room muttering to herself.

The rest of us were mostly still stunned that we were here, but also a little excited because this was a secret society. And we were in the midst of initiation.

Emily suddenly said, “No, thank you. I’m going to pass.” And she left.

The rest of us sat there a little longer, discussing what this was. What we might get out of it, how it might be an honor to be invited in.

It’s Skull and Bones, right? We play along, we get in, we meet new, interesting, powerful people, and we go on to ascend to positions of power and live fascinating lives.

No one gave another thought to Emily’s sudden exit.

We thought we’d come on our assigned nights and there’d be others here to welcome us. To explain things. To tell us what this is.

We were wrong.

Hayes and Emily were the first assigned pair the following week. Emily didn’t show. Apparently she was serious about passing on the opportunity. But I did and Hayes did. And there was a box in the middle of the room with three candles on top.

Hayes opened it up, took out the note, read it, passed it to me. And this is what it said.

Take the gun out of the box and shoot Emily with it. Then return the gun to the box and show up on your next assigned date. Tell no one what you did. Everything else will be handled.

“I’m not shooting Emily,” Hayes said.

“Well, I’m not shooting her either,” I countered.

“So we quit?”

I nodded. “I’m not sure what this is, but I don’t think it’s good.”

“Agreed. So… we’re out?”

I nodded again. “We’re out.”

“We should tell the others,” Hayes said. “I mean, if they want to continue, fine. But they should know this is some crazy shit.”

We left. We didn’t even blow out the candles, just left.

And when we got back to the dorms, Emily was waiting for us.

I stop and close the book. “I don’t want to read this part.” And sure, it’s a copout. Typical me, right? Take the easy road, refuse to engage, just go along and don’t make waves.

But I don’t want to read this book.

Everyone is silent. Not even an inappropriate joke out of Camille.

Hayes sighs, then says, “Look. We all know what happened, we just need to—”

“I don’t,” Sofia says. “I never understood that night.”

“Well,” Hayes says. Then he pauses. Thinks. Says, “She had a gun too, Sofia. Presumably it came in a box with a note that said something like, ‘Kill Connor and you can be out.’”

“But why Connor?” Camille asks. She’s sober now. At least, she looks sober. Like those few pages were enough to clear her flooded bloodstream of every drop of alcohol. “Why not you, Hayes?”

He shrugs. Starts to say something. Changes his mind. Starts to say something else. Changes his mind again. I feel like getting up, walking over to him, and shaking him by the shoulders. “I don’t know,” he finally says. “It’s logical that Emily would be instructed to shoot me, as I was instructed to shoot her. But she went for Connor, instead. No one ever saw her note. We don’t even know if that’s how it happened. Maybe… we don’t know anything.”

“We could ask her,” Camille says. “If we could find her.”

All six of us turn to look at the locked library door. “Is she still out there?” I ask Hayes.

“Presumably,” he says. “I’m sure someone would’ve called to let me know if they found her.”

“I still don’t get it,” Sofia says. “Why you, Con?”

“Maybe she was after Hayes. He and I were rooming together, remember?” I say. “And Emily already had me cornered with the gun when Hayes and Kiera got to the room.” I look at Kiera. “Why did you come back to our room?”

“I was afraid,” she says, looking nervously between me and Hayes. “There’s no way I was going back to my room alone. I didn’t have a roommate, remember? The whole fucking thing freaked me out. And that walk back to campus, in those creepy-ass woods…”

“I told her to stay with me,” Hayes says. “She was shaking so bad she couldn’t even talk.”

“Emily was talking incessantly when we entered,” Kiera says. “Like weird shit. Do you know what she was saying, Connor?”

I shake my head. “It was incoherent. Something about ‘not for me.’ ‘Not me.’ Or some shit like that. And then you guys came in and she pointed the gun at both of you.”

“And told us to get over by Connor. She wasn’t playing games,” Kiera continues. “And at the time, I figured she was talking about the note and the box, and the gun. That game. But… thinking back on it now, I think she was talking about something else.”