Cuff Me

“We should make this more exciting?” Jake flashed a devious smile and looked at the files again for the next person.

“How so?” I asked. He shrugged, telling me to just wait and see. Oh boy.

Jake can be a real prick. He could moonlight as a prison guard if he wanted, always playing bad cop of course.

“Next one is coming in.” Jana peeked in, and then went back outside.

“Does she have a date?” Jake asked me. I furrowed my brow in confusion.

“No, why would you think that?”

“I’ve never seen her wear a dress is all.” He eyed the space she just left. I shook my head and hid a yuck sound.

“Uh, she dresses like that all the time. What is with you?” The next applicant was in now, setting up her presentation. I didn’t pay any notice to her, but Jake was flashing his sizing up look.

“Nothing. Just haven’t gotten laid in a while is all.”

“Seriously?” I asked, in a way I was asking how he could be talking about that right now.

“What? You haven’t either.”

“I have been busy. As we are busy now,” I gestured to the young woman clicking through a power point.

She actually looked prepared though. She was in a gray pantsuit with a pink blouse, and had her blonde hair pinned up. I hoped for something good.

“Right. We should go back to the club this weekend.” I was prepared to shut him down, but the idea was appealing.

It had been a while. And Jake and I had interesting sexual tastes. It was never uncommon for us to share a woman, not since back in college. It made things more exciting, gets your testerone flowing like crazy and makes for a good time.

“Maybe. Now hush.” I turned to the girl smiling at us nervously. She probably heard our entire conversation.

The screen was a good few paces from us in the lecture seats, so maybe not.

“Please begin.”

I thought she would have a good idea, then I was reminded why I don’t judge based on appearances. Sorority matching. That was her pitch. A company that would learn your interests starting in high school, and prep you for the houses you wanted. Making the rush process more ‘focused and way more fun,’ as she said.

I couldn’t believe it. I don’t have anything against sororities, but the way she delivered the presentation made me wonder how she even met our GPA requirement. A 3.5 wasn’t too high, and we thought it would weed out, well, people who want to open a sorority dating site of sorts.

“So, how do you think this matches up with anything our company has been doing?” Jake asked in his no bullshit voice. I tapped his foot with mine, I really didn’t want to watch anyone crying again.

One time he was so hard and mean, that the guy started crying and broke down saying he didn’t know why he was so worthless. I kept tabs on him for some reason, and found out he is now an assistant professor at a junior college. His idea was really good, he just didn’t want to sell.

“How do you mean?” She replied with a smile. I relaxed a bit.

“Do you even know what kind of companies we invest in?” He asked.

She blinked rapidly, and shook her head once. Jake scoffed and started writing on the ‘no’ pen pad. He wrote her name down, and then held it up for her to see.

“We won’t be in touch. Thank you.”

She dropped her jaw like she expected to be handed the job instead. But eventually, she started packing up to leave. We either use their idea as a spring board and actually open the business, with a three-month plan and then make them the CEO. It is much easier than outsourcing yet another job. Or, we see it as a really good seed we want only our name on, and buy them out.

Out of the thirty here today, only one would actually get the CEO job. And out of the rest, three would be bought out. So, I was prepared for twenty-six shitty presentations.

“I have to say, it was kind of a good idea.” I told him. Jake frowned. I think he just had an affliction with sororities.

Back in college, he slept his way through Tri Delta, and somehow expected them to not tell everyone they knew. One girl in particular was his repeat, and he thought they were monogamous for a while. That was the last time he tried that. Because he found out from their brother fraternity that she was sleeping with them too, and they call her Wendy because she is four for four. To save herself, she blogged about rating all the men she had slept with. Jake was last.