Cuff Me

It was so utterly disappointing I didn’t know what to do.

“What happened?” My sniffles died down and I tried harder to speak coherently.

“I overheard someone today in the office. She left Logan’s office angry after talking to him an Jake. I heard her on the phone saying they were selling off one of their new ‘college conquests.’ That’s how I knew it was me. I was the only one.”

I grabbed more tissues and blew my nose out and cried more. She muttered something but I couldn’t hear through my ringing ears.

“Oh no. What did they say?”

I shook my head. “Nothing. I didn’t talk to them. I left after I heard.”

I felt her face fall. I knew she was looking at me with those eyes of hers that see right through me.

“Oh god, Madeline. What the hell? You don’t know for sure!”

She yelled and my face curled up with more tears, but she held strong as she still rubbed my back soothingly.

“I got so mad. I didn’t know what to do. I know I shouldn’t have left so please don’t say that. I just didn’t know what to do. I’m so stupid. And I missed the meeting! I’ve wrecked it all.”

Even though I wasn’t sure there would even still be a meeting. I thought I was being bought off.

“I know. I know. You have to get it together and be professional about it so that you’re sure.” I nodded.

“I can say I got held up studying. They didn’t see me there. I just don’t think I can do anything until tomorrow.”

She patted my back soothingly.

“Okay. Sounds good.”

I nodded.

I went to my room and dried my tears. But once I was in the shower new ones appeared. I felt so betrayed, it was just so hard to stop my heart from constricting at the pain. I knew I wasn’t sure but what else could she have been talking about? I had no idea how

they felt about me, and they never said much besides bedroom talk. I had to tell myself that was all it was.

It sounded good and it stayed in my head forever but that’s all it was. It was meant to get me hot and bothered and that was all. I have to find a way to walk in there and break things off. since they were buying me out anyway, they don’t need my company.

But I need them.

I got out of the shower and dressed in sweats to fit the occasion. I thought maybe I should call? I couldn’t reach for the phone. I was disappointed in them and myself. For being so unprofessional, and for letting them affect me. I knew I was so torn up because of how I felt about them. Hurt was the only thing I felt. I love them, I love them both and it hurts so much to not feel it back.

It was fast and sudden but it was real and it was consuming me. It wasn’t healthy or good for me. I’m sitting here in my bed, unable to move or do anything. It was sad and unfortunate. I was afraid and embarrassed to face them and that’s what was worse. I knew I wasn’t performing as well as I could, and they only saw me as a bedroom puppet. I dutifully played their game but now I need out.

There was nothing I could do but wish I wasn’t in love. Or wish I were loved.

Either way, I lose.

Seventeen: Jake

I was starting to realize how serious this thing with Madeline was. That week without hearing from her showed me that. And that night in her apartment was proof enough. I have had my fair share of women before, and it always felt the same. There was nothing different about any of them. They entertained me, and I always came, but there was nothing special about them.

But Madeline…before her it was like I was frozen, and she had thawed me out. Every time I touch her I seem to come alive, and when she touches me it reaches my insides, making me all soft and shit. It had been a few days since then and I could still feel her on me.

I wanted her so bad all the time, I was constantly hard and always picturing her. On my desk, on my chair, on my couch, on me. I want to see her take Logan up the ass as she sucks me off, but I know she isn’t ready for that yet. We knew she would be soon, though. And I was eagerly waiting for that day.

Everything was looking up when I went in to the office. We set up a meeting with the marketing director to make the first stride in her start up, making a full marketing plan that we would actually stick to. Even still, I came into the office looking like one of Logan’s students, but I’m just not about suits. Everyone here knows that.

I was putting files together, all the information we had on it. Madeline was due here any minute and I couldn’t wait to see her. I even smiled at the thought of her before Logan came bursting in my office. And he wasn’t alone.