Cuff Me

The pain in my throat was too severe to speak again so I simply nodded and cast my eyes down, trying to relieve myself of some of his shame. He was completely right. All of this was on me.

He put his hand on my shoulder and squeezed it. “I’m just glad you’re okay.”

I knew that he meant it too. “Corina, why don’t you and I take a little walk? Give him and Berkley a minute alone.”

My mother kissed me on the forehead before she followed him out the door, looking over her shoulder at me as the tears welled up in her eyes. I’d hurt her so badly.

Berkley sat down on the side of my bed with bags under her eyes from lack of sleep. I couldn’t believe she’d stayed after how I had treated her. She deserved so much better than this.

“You scared the hell out of me. I came to that fight to stop you. Those guys wanted to kill you, to knock you out of the competition permanently. Did you know that?”

I slowly shook my head, the room spinning as I did so.

“Don’t ever do something so stupid again. I just don’t think my heart could take it.”

She chewed on her lower lip, and even in the hospital bed it still turned me on. Berkley was everything I wanted, but nothing I deserved. Once I had my strength back, I would explain that to her and let her make her choice. I wouldn’t make it for her, not this time.

FOURTEEN

BERKLEY

“Wake up!”

“Why? I asked groggily.

“Girl, you made me promise not to let you sleep all day. You’re going to miss your two PM class. How much longer are you going to keep this up? Dillon’s going to be in the hospital another three or four days. And you’ve been dragging your ass for a week. I don’t know how you’re keeping up with your class schedule and spending most of your nights at the hospital.”

I rubbed my eyes, trying to control the burn from lack of sleep. Naomi was right. I hadn’t been sleeping much. Dillon’s mother was at the hospital anytime she could be, but when she was working her shifts as a waitress, I spent as much time there as I could. He had finally started to talk again and his face was healing up well. The doctors were impressed with his progress, and they felt that they would send them home by the end of the week. I knew it was killing him to just lie in a hospital bed, but I was hoping that every second he had to lie there made him think about making poor choices again. But there was something blossoming between us at the hospital, the way his fingers intertwined with mine and how he seemed so peaceful when I was there. Somehow I knew that deep down he was thankful I’d been there that night, and he knew that we were even now. A debt for debt.

“I know I said that, but I need to sleep sometime.”

She shook her head, “Yes, but you need to sleep at night so you don’t miss your classes. I know you’re like totally hung up on him, but you barely know him. He’s obviously dangerous, doing some illegal fight. You have to watch yourself, before you get too involved.”

I was already involved. That was a big part of my problem.

“I promise that I will take care of myself. I just have to take care of him for a little bit longer too. He gets out this week. Then things will go back to normal.” I was excited to see his apartment. I had a feeling it would be was ridiculously clean and probably didn’t have a lot in it, since he spent so much time at the gym. But I was hoping I would find a couple small pieces of him there, something that would give me more information than he did. Dillon was still mostly a mystery to me, regardless of how much time I spent up a hospital talking to him.

“Fine,” she muttered before walking out of our bedroom and going to her own class. I pulled myself up into a sitting position—thank God for multiple pillows—and looked down to check my phone. My dad had called me again, second time this week. That was unlike him, and I had a few minutes before class, so I thought I could talk to them on the way there. I grabbed my bag and shoved my laptop inside before pressing the call back button and walking out of my room.

“Hi Daddy. How are you?” I could almost feel his smile from the other end of the line.

“Berkley! I’m wonderful, darling, how are you? Your mother’s been worried about you. You didn’t call us back earlier this week. Is everything okay?”

Did I tell him that I potentially had a new boyfriend who was a well-known MMA fighter? Probably not. “I’m fine. Just trying to get back into the swing of things with classes. It’s only the second week, you know. And I really have to focus this semester, get my career back on track.”

“And what career is that?” He sounded concerned. He had every right to be; I still hadn’t made any final decisions about my future. I’d been so wrapped up in Dillon that I hadn’t even opened my résumé yet. That wasn’t doing me any good. “I’m taking an accounting class right now, I like that a lot. Maybe I’ll try to get a job in a firm.”

“A firm is a solid choice. But don’t you think you’re wasting your talents a little bit? What about law school?”

Law school. I hadn’t even thought about it since freshman year. I certainly didn’t have the course load to prepare myself for that. “Daddy, I don’t want to be a politician. That was Jake’s dream. I was just going along for the ride.”

“But what is your dream? Berkley, you really need to decide what you want to do with your life. You’re running out of time to make hard decisions. And as much as your mother and I would love to have you come home, I don’t think that’s what you want.”

“I don’t know, I wouldn’t mind living with you guys are just a little bit longer. I mean if you would have me.” Rent free of course, because without a job I couldn’t afford anything. My little brother would hate if I came back home though. Totally ruin his run of the household vibe. “How is Logan, anyway?” Last time I’d heard he was getting into some serious trouble at school and with girls.

“Are you trying to change the subject?”

“Yep.”