“I feel the same way,” I said. “But…”
“No” he argued. “Just stop. Stop thinking of reasons why you can’t do this and start listening to your heart.”
“I am,” I argued.
“You aren’t!” he half yelled. “If you were, you would know that our love is something that only happens once in a lifetime. We have to fight for it! There’s nothing more than important than us. Nothing.”
“Yes,” I said firmly. “There is.”
“What?” he demanded.
“Our daughter.”
Twenty- Three
Piper
The words left my lips and hit Logan’s ears like a brick. I could see his entire demeanor change. He sunk into himself. His eyes darkened and his face lost all color. His breathing stopped almost completely as he stood staring at me in shock.
“What did you just say?” he asked.
I took a deep breath and tried to explain.
“When you left,” I said. “I was pregnant. I didn’t know it at the time. That night, I only knew that my heart was breaking. A week later, I found out I was pregnant.”
“Oh my god…”
“I didn’t know what to do,” I continued. “Or, what I should do, but I knew I had to decide fast. I talked to my mom and to Audra. They both supported me. They said they would stand by me no matter what decision I made. When I decided to give the baby up, it was the hardest decision I ever made. I was six months along when I asked Audra to adopt the baby. I didn’t even know if it was a boy or girl. I couldn’t bear the thought of knowing and then having to give her up. Audra said she would keep her. She held me while I cried over it and she was there in the room when I gave birth.”
“So, Audra has our child?” Logan asked. His voice was soft, but I could hear the anger bubbling beneath the surface.
“No,” I shook my head. “When she was born, I held her. I held her for a long time and then they took her away. The second she left the room I knew I made a huge mistake. I started screaming and sobbing. I yelled as loud as I could until Audra and my mom came running into the room. I told them I made a mistake, that I wanted to keep my baby. They thought I was just emotional and sleep deprived. They wanted me to sleep on it, but I didn’t need any more time. I knew the second I saw her that I couldn’t lose her. She was mine.”
“Ours,” Logan corrected with a glare. “She is OURS. How the hell could you keep this from me?”
“I thought about telling you a thousand times,” I said. “But you were gone and I didn’t know how. I didn’t know what you would say or how you would react.”
“That doesn’t matter!” he said. “I had a right to know I was a father.”
“Would it have changed anything?” I demanded. “Would you have left the SEALs to be a dad?”
“What I would or wouldn’t have done isn’t the point, Piper,” he said. “You kept my child from me for five years! How could you do that?”
“I was scared.”
The truth felt like an excuse, but I said it anyway. Logan watched my face and knew I wasn’t lying. He saw how terrified I was back then. In that moment, he felt all my fear and pain.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there,” he said softly. “For you. For her.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” I said. “That wasn’t fair.”
“What’s her name?” he asked. He glanced behind me, looking at the front door as if he only just realized where he was. “Is she here?”
“She’s at Audra’s playing with her cousins for a few hours,” I said. “Her name is Lillianna. Lillianna Marie.”
“Marie?” Logan asked, his eyes widened in surprise.
“After your mother,” I nodded. “You know I always loved her.”