I kissed him. I didn’t know what else to do. I tasted blood and didn’t care. He kissed me back softly, slowly. I held myself there and pressed my forehead against his.
“You can’t. You’ll hate yourself if you do.”
“It’s only a year of college. What does it matter? I’ll survive.”
“Calvin, please. Don’t go.”
“You don’t have to come with me.” He touched my cheek. “You can stay here. I’ll explain to my father. He’ll understand.”
“That’s not what I mean.” I squeezed my eyes shut. I concentrated on his breathing.
I didn’t want him to leave me. That was the truth. I needed him here. Things were starting to feel good for the first time in my life, and he was a central part of that. I wanted to be in his group, wanted to be in his world, and wanted him, yes, I wanted him.
I needed all of this, and more.
He made me feel like a normal, complete person for the first time in my life, and I didn’t want to give that up.
Worse, I knew he didn’t, either.
This was his home. Blackwoods was more than a school. It was the one place in the entire world where he could be himself. No walls, no barriers. It was difficult and he struggled, but I knew he relished that discomfort. It made him a better man.
I didn’t want to lose that. We had precious little time left as it was.
One more year.
“I don’t think there’s another way.” He sounded so heavy. “I can drop out and take my position in the company. I’ll be given more and more responsibilities, and in a few years, my father will retire, or he’ll die. Either way, I’ll take over, and my brothers won’t be able to do a damn thing to stop it.”
“And us? What about us?”
“You’ll finish school. Then you can do whatever you wish.”
“What about our fake marriage? And children? And everything?”
“Oh, Robyn, love. I’ll find a way to let you live. I promise.”
I blinked away more tears and kissed him again. We held that for a long time, and when I pulled back, he smiled at me. The room was empty. Jarrod must’ve left at some point and I hadn’t heard.
“I don’t want you to go. Isn’t that sick? When all this started, I didn’t want you around. Now I can’t imagine you gone.”
“I knew I’d win you over.”
I batted at his chest gently, making sure not to hurt him. “Why did you do this to me?”
“Because I love you. That’s why. You know I do.”
I felt the words fill me with a strange, warm glow, and I basked in him for several long moments.
Calvin loved me. I knew he did. He’d all but said as much before. His letters, his deeds, his touch, his kiss. I knew, I knew, but hearing him say it so plainly, with no hesitation, no reservation—
It was too much.
I stood and stepped back. He watched me carefully, still smiling. Bruises covered his face. I could only imagine what his chest looked like.
His muscular, perfect chest. Marred and painful.
“I need to go home, but I don’t want to leave you alone.”
“I’ll be fine. Matthias is coming and a doctor’s on the way.”
“What about Jarrod?”
“He’ll look after me.”
I nodded and glanced toward the door. “When are you going?”
“Soon. I doubt I’ll finish the semester.”
I grimaced. I hoped I’d have a few more weeks, at least.
“Right. I understand.”
“Robyn—”
“It’s okay.” I walked to the door. There was so much more to say and I shouldn’t run away from him right now, not when he said what I wanted him to say. I wished I could express all the emotions that swirled through my body, wished I could make him see how his touch drove me to insanity, how his voice brought me back down from the heavens and grounded me again, and how I needed him here more than I ever thought possible.
But he made his choice, and if he was going to leave me, I couldn’t make this any harder.
So I left. It hurt, and it broke me, but I left. There was nothing else for it.
I got into the car and cried.
I hated this. Hated his family. Hated his brothers. And above all, I despised his father for forcing Calvin into this no-win situation.
They were all sick and twisted and there was no escape.
Not for Calvin. And now, not for me.
I drove home. I wouldn’t let myself cry. It was dark, and the car that was parked out front of my house was quiet.
I slowed and leaned out to wave at the guys.
Blood was slicked and splattered all over the windshield.
I stifled a scream. My hands flew to my mouth.
Both of the guards were dead. Shot in the skull. One looked like he’d tried to fight back or to escape. His body was slumped to the side, halfway toward getting the door open.