Big Dicker (Harem Station 3)

“He’s infatuated with you,” Flicka informs me. “I heard him talking to Xyla while you were in the shower. And don’t worry, Queenie can’t make a call to the Loathsome One. Even if she paid the exorbitant fee, the comms only work in the Vacation Sector.”

“He’s infatuated with me? How can you tell?”

“Duh. Two cocks, Delphi. There’s something going on between you two. Like… something big.”

“No,” I say. “I’d feel that. I’d at least glow if he so much as touched me. At the very least, I’d get all weird and tingly and—oh, shit.”

“That’s right,” Flicka says. “You two have some kind of connection.”

“But if we were… you know. Then I’d know! I’d light up, and become all stupid, and try to make him fuck me.”

“I think he’s taking something to stop the attraction. I don’t know what or how it works, but he feels it too. And if you two are connected like that, then it’s a waste of time going through with this plan. Because you’ll choose him over Tycho in the end. You won’t be able to help yourself.”

“No! I won’t! That can’t happen!”

“But it will, Delphi. We should switch teams now before it’s too late. I don’t know why your father let Tycho live with you growing up, but we should assume it’s because he has a role to play. And it wouldn’t be very hard to convince Jimmy that Tycho’s place is back on Harem where they are all desperate to figure this mess out.”

“What role, though?”

“It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t even matter if it’s a lie. As long as Jimmy and his Harem Station brothers think he’s important, it’s in their best interest to save him.”

I think about this for a moment.

“We need to change sides. You need to tell him everything and get a new plan in motion before morning.”

“How would I even start this conversation? What do I say? ‘Oh, hey. Sorry, but I’ve been lying to you this whole time. I’m really here to kidnap you and hand you over to the Loathsome One in exchange for my brother, who, by the way, is so important you need to now trust me and go risk your life to save him?’ He’ll never fall for it!”

“Well,” Flicka says. “There is one sure way to make him fall for it.”

“How?”

“Make him fall for you. Tell him you’re his soulmate.”

CHAPTER THIRTEEN – JIMMY

The minute I close the bedroom door I feel stupid. Did I just run away from a woman? Because she’s sexy? And turning me on? And could maybe, possibly be an explosive device meant to take down the Prime Navy and usher in a new nightmare age of Cygnian-Akeelian domination?

Did I really just think that?

I shake my head and chuckle. I’m losing my mind. Maybe I should call Dicker back and try to explain things? See if any of this makes sense or it’s just the ramblings of a guy infatuated with a girl?

But then I notice all the shopping she did. Lots of outfits. And oh, hey, what’s that? Did she… no. Did she?

“Holy shit,” I mutter, walking over to the dresser where all her clothes are neatly folded, fresh from the autoshopper. “She did.”

She bought me clothes!

For some inexplicable reason, a warm sensation floods my body. She was in here thinking about me. She was thinking about me so much, she shopped for me. I’m pretty sure that’s like… a two-week jump in the relationship department.

Oh, my God. Is this a sign that we’re in a relationship?

I pick up a shirt. Just a t-shirt. But don’t all guys love t-shirts? She doesn’t know me that well so hey, a t-shirt is a safe choice. And tactical pants. Again, not wholly original. Pretty much everyone I know, including me, wears tactical pants. And boots. Holy shit, she even guessed my shoe size correctly!

And well, well, well. What’s this? Why it’s pajamas. Which totally means she’s planning on us sleeping together.

She even bought us luggage!

Wow. I sigh. I could really fall for this girl. She is the real deal. Total package. And pret-ty nice in the looks department, too.

Granted, it might be a little presumptuous. And in all my past experiences with girls who went into fast-forward mode on the first date, they all turned out to be maximum psycho. But… it’s also kind of cute. Sort of endearing.

So I decide I don’t hate it.

But wait. Is this a date?

I can’t tell. She’s sending me all the right signals. She totally invited herself up to my room, right?

Hold on, that little voice inside my head that had one hundred percent control this morning but seems to be having regular lapses now says. She already admitted she’s a schemer. She’s here for you, remember that, Jimmy?

I do. I get it. Something’s still off about this whole Mighty Minions breakdown. But all my rational suspicions want to take a backseat to the idea of her and I getting together.