"I'm sorry if I'm screwing things up," I murmur. "You smell nice."
"Of course I do." He glides his hand down my shoulder. "I am Hedonism. I am all things that are pleasant. And you are screwing nothing up, Carly. As you said, this is all very new to you."
I squeeze my eyes shut, because the old feelings of inadequacy, of my father telling me I'll never be good enough, rise back up and threaten to choke me. This anchoring, this helping Kassam, it feels important. Far more important than someone like me should be handling. My mother would be better at this than me—she believes in auras and helpful spirits and all that woo-woo stuff. I know…well, I know how to mix drinks and that's about it. Kassam needs a new anchor, a better anchor.
It's just…the thought of Kassam touching someone else makes me want to shrivel inside. I know that's the hedonism talking, that I'm already addicted to him like a junkie, but I can't help it. I know I should give him up…I just don't want to, even if part of me thinks I need to detangle completely.
"I just don't know what to do," I confess, breathing in his warm, comforting scent.
"It is easy. We find a way to bring me home. That is all we must do." He smooths a hand along my hip, a gentle caress that promises more than just comfort. "And we find a way to do so that does not involve your death."
I say quietly, "I would really, really like that."
One big hand squeezes my ass. "I would, too. I like having you around."
I huff. "You barely know me."
"I know enough. I know that you do not annoy me with your questions. I know that you are thoughtful. I know that you are kind and clever." His lips brush against my cheek. "I know that being in your cunt feels better than any pleasure imaginable, and I can imagine a great, great deal."
I shiver at that, hot need flaring through me again. "I have to work tonight. If I lose my job, I'll be screwed after this is over. I need to pay my bills."
"Then we will work tonight," he says, catching my earlobe between his teeth and sucking. A hot rush of need flares through me, and I bite back a cry. "I will keep you company."
Oh, I just bet he will. I imagine endless breaks, racing toward the stock room so we can fuck again and again…and I'm panting as I envision it. "And we need to marry."
"Yes." His hand slides between my thighs, pressing against my pussy. "But first, we need to pleasure each other. It has been far too long."
"It's literally been an hour," I pant. "Maybe two."
His tongue flicks against my ear again. "Far, far too long," he agrees. "And I have not tasted your cunt yet."
I whimper. I'm not sure if we can afford to be distracted right now, but his hand flicks open the button on my jeans and slides the zipper down, and then he's pressing his big fingers into my panties, seeking my folds. Kassam's mouth is on my earlobe, doing absolutely filthy things to it while his fingertips brush over my clit. I cry out, the heat of his touch nearly choking me with how badly I crave it. My hips jerk, pressing up against those incredible fingers as he teases the hood of my clit, his mouth on my ear as he holds me locked against him.
"Give me that sweetness, little light," Kassam whispers against my ear. "Soak my hand. Show me how good I make you feel."
Oh god. His fingers work against my clit perfectly, making me squirm. I clutch at him, panting, until the need peaks, shockingly hard and swift, and I cry out, grinding against his hand as I come. He croons praise at me, pressing soft kisses to my neck and continuing to slowly rub my clit until I'm spent, and I collapse against him, panting. I let out a low moan, exhausted…but somehow feeling better.
"Mmm," Kassam murmurs, scraping his teeth against the side of my neck. "I liked that. You're going to make everyone jealous."
Everyone…?
I open my eyes, and through the steamy windows of the car, I can just make out someone trying to peer inside. A stranger. With a squeak of alarm, I wriggle out of his grasp and hit the car horn, making the peeping tom scatter backward. "Is that—"
"Our curious deity?" Kassam chuckles, licking his fingers with a sultry look in my direction. "No, that's just someone who wishes they were you."
God, this hedonism thing is a mess. Shaky, I slide into my seat and start the car. Get home, I tell myself, and everything will be fine.
But when we get home, my apartment is filled with greenery and house cats.