“No, you’re not this, Pepper. Did you just hear yourself? Your family is in a cult. Your ex is an asshole.”
I’d said douchebag.
But…
“Your brother is a felon,” he went on, letting my wrists go and gliding his arms around me again. “You’re none of that. You’re just reacting to their shit. It isn’t you. I want you. Their shit is their shit, but a relationship isn’t worth dick if the two people in it don’t stick together through good and through bad. Now, you got some bad, that doesn’t mean you’re bad. It just means we gotta get you through the bad.”
I glared at him.
Then I stated, “Seriously, if we don’t have sex soon, it’s gonna kill me.”
He busted out laughing.
I felt a whole lot better hearing and watching that.
When he sobered, he shared, “There are other ways to pay me back for being awesome.”
“I didn’t say you were awesome,” I noted (at least I didn’t say it this time). “I said I want to have sex with you. You’ve inferred the awesome. Though I will note, I was inferring that too.”
He started chuckling, and said, “Thanks for that correction. But I still want to get my point across that another way to pay me back is never do anything like that again, unless I’m around.”
I wasn’t following.
“Anything like what?” I asked.
“Anything like calling your brother.”
I sat nearly in his lap, in his arms, looking into his eyes, and it felt like blues and turquoises and purples were swirling around in the air, edging out the grays and yellows and oranges that I’d lived with so long, I no longer noticed were there.
In other words, tranquility, protection and wisdom were edging out gloominess, instability, sluggishness.
I had my daughter.
I had my girlfriends.
But in truth—and it was not buried, it was not hidden, it was right in front of me every single day—I knew I was alone. I was the one who was responsible. I was the one who had to take care of myself, my daughter, our health, our home, our happiness.
I could do it alone.
But it was lonely.
Good God.
Auggie was my mountain.
“Pepper?” he called.
I had tears welling in my eyes again when I focused on him.
“Baby,” he said softly.
“Thank you for that,” I replied just as softly.
“You’re welcome, and I think something big is happening right now, I’m just not sure what it is. You wanna tell me?”
I shook my head.
I was edging the line of crazy brand-new girlfriend you might need your head examined for seeing. I didn’t need to explain how he was my mountain.
Obviously, I couldn’t share that.
So I told him the second reason why I didn’t want to get into it.
“Can we not do any more heavy? Just for now?”
He nodded his head. “If that’s what you need, definitely.”
Of course he’d say that and let it go.
Totally my mountain.
I pulled in a deep breath to settle my emotions and then suggested, “Let’s go get something to eat, you hungry?”
“How about I go grab something and bring it back?”
“Is my makeup that bad?”
He gave me a small smile. “No. I just want you to feel in a safe place.”
God.
He was awesome.
“I’d actually rather kick back,” I admitted. “So let’s go out together and get something to bring back.”
Aug got out of my couch immediately, pulling me with him.
So that answered that.
My guy was hungry.
After a brief discussion in his car, we went to Mad Greens, because we both liked it, and it wouldn’t be heavy in my stomach before I had to dance.
We were back at my island, shoving food in our mouths, when I shared my new plan about how to deal with my mom.
“So, I’ll actually go to their old place, because for me it’ll make it real, the fact my family moved without telling me they moved. But it’ll also make it somewhat authentic even when I lie and say I went to their old place to visit them and found out they didn’t live there. That way, they’ll have to tell me they moved to the church. And the occasion is extreme, considering it’s been over a week since I learned my mother is ill, and naturally, I want to see her. So it won’t seem like I’m being weird, showing up unannounced when I haven’t been ‘home,’ as it were, in years.”
Auggie studiously shoved rice, veg and chicken slathered in yummy dressing into his mouth.
What he did not do was look at or respond to me.
Great.
“What?” I asked.
That was when he looked at me.
“Okay, since your day hasn’t been that great and shit keeps coming at you, I’ll do this fast.”
Crap.
“Reverend Clyde is either a bona fide nutcase, a con man, or both,” Auggie continued. “His history is hinky and convoluted, but it seems he’s setting himself up for a cushy retirement. Info is still coming in on him, and that church. But what we have so far, I’d advise you not to get anywhere near it.”