Later as he unwound under a hot shower, Luke replayed the match in his head. The unforced errors, the double faults, the missed opportunities. Intellectually he knew he probably just wasn’t destined to win the French. Still it stuck in his craw that he failed, year after year.
Jesse was on court and Luke headed over after his shower to see how it was going. He was surprised to see that Jesse had taken the first set handily. He was playing damn well, and pride surged through Luke. Jesse had spent a lot of time training with Jeff and it was paying off.
Luke scanned the stands for the coach, finally spying his balding head halfway down the bleachers. Jesse was playing on one of the smaller courts, neither he nor his opponent big enough names to rate the big show courts. Luke made his way down to Jeff.
“Hey,” he said, taking the empty seat beside him. The stands were barely half full, and the closest spectators were a few rows down.
Jeff smiled, but Luke noticed a tightness there. “Hey, Luke.”
“He’s playing damn well today.”
“Sure is.”
“Guess all those long days of practice in Hamburg paid off.”
Jeff shrugged. “Yep, I guess so. Either that or it was the vacation you boys took to Venice. It was Venice, right?”
“Look, he needed a break. So he wasn’t really sick. It all turned out okay.” Luke’s heart hammered in his chest and he forced a smile. “I guess Jesse’s not too good at keeping a secret.”
“Oh, he is. But it’s pretty hard to pull the wool over my eyes.” Jeff looked at him for a long moment, then peered back out at the court. “Venice is nice this time of year.”
“Yeah, May’s a good time to go,” Luke agreed awkwardly. His face felt hot, and he shifted in his seat.
“Romantic city.”
The coil of dread in Luke’s stomach grew large. “I guess.”
Jeff’s gaze stayed on Jesse on the court, chasing down returns. “Do you love him?”
“What?” Luke croaked out.
“Because he loves you. He’s a good kid, and I don’t want you fucking with his head. If this is just about getting your rocks off, you’d better tell him that.”
“Look, Jeff, I’m not sure where you got the idea that there was something—”
“Spare me. There’s something going on—you know it, I know it, and if you’re not damn careful, the whole world will know it. Think about his career. Yours is almost over, and you’ve had your fair share of glory. You think he’ll last on the tour with everyone knowing he’s a fag?”
Anger flared and Luke gritted his teeth. “Don’t call him that.”
“That’s a word he’s going to hear a lot if this all comes out.”
“Does he know? That you know?”
“No, and he needs to focus on his game right now. He doesn’t need any more distractions. So I’m just going to keep on pretending that I’m oblivious.” Jeff finally looked at him again. “Look, I’ve got no problem with it, okay? But other people will, and you two had better be careful.”
“We will be. We are.”
Nodding, Jeff said, “Keep it that way.” Jesse broke the other player’s serve and Jeff stood up and cheered, clapping loudly. Luke stayed in his seat, silent.
“Oh, my god, I can’t believe it!” Jesse jumped onto the bed, bouncing for a moment before he settled down on the duvet, arms and legs outstretched. “I’m in the quarterfinals. The quarterfinals of a Grand Slam!”
Luke smiled and leaned back against the door of the hotel room. “You played great today.”
“I know! I did, didn’t I? This is like, oh, my god, so amazing.”
“Yeah, it is.”
Jesse’s smile faltered. “I’m sorry you lost. I’m being really obnoxious, aren’t I?”
“No, no. You should enjoy this. You deserve it.” Luke smiled at him reassuringly. “You should celebrate.”
“Yes, we should.” Jesse fixed him with a seductive look. “So what are you doing all the way over there?” He raised his hand, beckoning to Luke.
“You shouldn’t tire yourself out.” Luke heard Jeff’s warnings over and over again in his head like a tune he couldn’t stop humming. Maybe some distance from Jesse was wise.
Jesse blinked at him in surprise. “You…you don’t want to?”
“It’s not that. I just want you to be at your best.”
As he sat up, the smile faded from Jesse’s face. “Why are you acting so weird?”
“I’m not,” Luke scoffed.
“Yes, you are. You’re all…uptight or something.”
“It’s just been a long day.”
“It is…are you upset that you lost? And I didn’t?”
Luke rolled his eyes and strolled over to the minibar, grabbing a beer. “No. I’m not jealous.”
“Then what?”
“Nothing. It’s nothing.” Luke gulped down some beer and slammed down the bottle. “You’re right—let’s celebrate.” In a few movements, he had Jesse pinned back against the bed, arms over his head.
They kissed and stripped quickly, moving together in a tangle of limbs, Luke thrusting inside Jesse as they both moaned in pleasure. They were careful about their secret, Luke told himself—he was just being paranoid because of Jeff. There was no reason to worry.