The Christmas Deal

“Didn’t even think about it. All that mattered was you and Connor. You both disappeared. It was only a few seconds, I guess, but it was fucking forever.”

Seth shivered, and Logan shifted them until he was spooning Seth, pressed against his back. There was nothing sexy about it—certainly not with Connor a few feet away. But it was just right.

Despite the warmth in the room, Logan could hear Connor’s teeth chattering. In the faint light of the clock, Logan and Seth shared a worried look and sat up. Connor was still curled toward the window, his shoulders shaking.

“Still cold, Connor?” Seth asked.

A small, chattering voice said, “Yeah.”

Seth met Logan’s gaze and pointed down at their bed. Logan nodded, and Seth asked, “Do you want to sleep with us? We’re all freezing.”

The silence lasted several dull thuds of Logan’s heart, and then Connor whispered, “Okay.”

He got out of bed and stood hugging himself as Logan scooted over to the wall. Seth pulled up his legs, and Connor crawled between Seth and Logan and got under the covers.

Connor said, “It’s too quiet.”

Seth reached for the remote and turned on the TV, the screen flickering blue in the darkness. He kept the volume low and switched channels until he landed on Elf.

There was something soothing about the soft murmur of the TV, although Logan’s brain still turned itself over. There was so much he wanted to say to Seth. They liked each other, but… Now what?

Now you sleep, asshole.

As much as Logan ached to feel Seth in his arms, snuggling under the covers with Connor between them was comforting in a way all its own. As the characters in the movie sung “Santa Claus is Coming to Town,” Logan drifted off and let himself believe.

Chapter Eighteen

Seth had woken with Connor’s knobby knee in his back and an arm half across his face, and the three of them had grumbled about it being way too hot in the room.

But there hadn’t been any real fire to the complaints, and although it was a little awkward and stilted, they’d gotten ready for breakfast in companionable-enough silence, the TV still on and playing the Mormon choir singing carols.

Breakfast was spent smiling and nodding at all the well-meaning inquiries into their well-being, and Seth was relieved when they boarded the buses back to Albany. Connor sat with Ian and buried his nose in the games on his phone, and Seth drowsed next to Logan, their arms brushing.

The fragile peace continued as they drove back to Seth’s house after bidding Angela farewell. The next day was Christmas Eve, and the office was closed until the twenty-sixth. Seth was relieved to have the time off, although his stomach fluttered thinking about the conversation he and Logan had to have. And would Connor’s quiet calm hold?

It had snowed more, and the midafternoon skies were gray. Seth’s long driveway had been freshly plowed by the man he hired. Inside, he dropped his bag and looked around in foolish surprise at the new decor. He blurted, “I almost forgot that it’s finished now.”

Logan chuckled as he unzipped his leather jacket and hung it in the closet. “Still like it?”

“Yes.” Seth smiled as he walked through to the kitchen, flipping on lights. “Definitely.”

Connor followed, peering around. “Wow. Looks awesome.”

“It was all Logan,” Seth said. “He did an amazing job.” Please be nice, he willed Connor.

Standing in the entrance to the great room, where the decorated pine tree waited, Connor nodded. “It’s really good.”

Logan’s smile was shy and tentative, and Seth wanted to kiss him so badly he felt like a swooning teenager. Logan gruffly said, “Thanks.”

“Can I hang out in my room?” Connor asked Seth. “I mean, like, upstairs.”

“Of course. We’ll order something in for dinner in a few hours. Any requests? Chinese or Thai or pizza and wings? Or anything you like.”

“Sweet and sour chicken balls and fried rice would be cool. Can I have Coke?”

“Absolutely,” Logan said.

A little while later, Connor locked away upstairs, Seth and Logan took what had become their places on the couch, the middle cushion between them. They watched football, the colored lights of the Christmas tree reflecting on the glass as the afternoon grew dark early.

There was so much to say, but maybe they both needed some quiet before they said it. But Seth got more and more anxious, finally blurting, “If we like each other, does that mean we’re—” He tried to find the right words, settling on, “Not casual?”

Logan seemed to have been holding his breath, and he exhaled in a slump of shoulders. “Yeah.” He shifted over on the couch and muted the TV with the remote. He spread his hand over Seth’s right thigh, and electricity zipped through Seth. “You know how they say ‘fake it ’til you make it’?”

“Uh-huh.”

“It doesn’t feel like we’re faking anything now.”