He kept his tone even and non-committal. “We’ll see.” Finish your plate and get back downstairs. A bit of oil spilled as Shane popped the last tomato into his mouth, and he swiped at his lower lip with his finger. He looked up to find Rafa watching him with wide eyes, and the air was suddenly charged and heavy, like a storm was close by. Shane wiped his hands on a paper towel, his heart kicking up despite himself and his skin prickling all over. “I’d better get back. Have a good night.”
Rafa only stared, and then the few feet between them were gone, and their lips were pressed together. His fingers dug into Shane’s arms, and he crushed their mouths together desperately. He was warm and sweet, and smelled like bacon and lemons, and Shane wanted to bend him over the counter and dive into him like the ocean at high tide. But even more than that he wanted to push his tongue between Rafa’s lips and really taste him. Fuck, he wanted to make Rafa feel good. Show him how it could be. He wanted to lose himself.
Shane opened his mouth to suck in a breath and break away, but Rafa’s lips parted against his so tantalizingly. He swept his tongue into Rafa’s mouth while his mind screamed for him to stop. Rafa moaned into the kiss, his tongue tentatively meeting Shane’s, and all the blood in Shane’s body rushed to his cock. Rafa pressed closer against him, and Shane swept his hands down Rafa’s back, heading for his ass—
Jerking away, Shane broke the kiss and yanked his hands back to his sides. Rafa followed, his eyes dark, lips red and parted as he sucked in a little gasping breath that sent even more blood rushing straight to Shane’s dick. But Shane pushed firmly against Rafa’s chest with his palms and gritted the words out.
“No. This can’t happen.” He shook his head.
But God, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt like this. If he ever had felt like this. He’d been with dozens of men over the years, but he’d never wanted them in the way he wanted Rafa. He’d never cared. What the hell was wrong with him?
The flush in Rafa’s face deepened, and he backed away, his hands and head dropping. “I’m so sorry,” he croaked. “I don’t know what…I didn’t mean to…I’m sorry.”
Shane concentrated on keeping his voice and expression calm. He let the mask slide into place. “It’s all right. I’m going now.”
“Shane…” Breathing hard, Rafa raised his head, pain and longing shining in his big eyes.
“This was my fault. It won’t happen again.”
He turned on his heel, because the urge to take Rafa into his arms and tell him everything would be okay was over-fucking-whelming and unacceptable. Shane managed to walk calmly out of the kitchen, although his heart was thumping painfully. He should have known this was coming. If it cost him his job, he damn well deserved it.
“Three more burgers. Got it!” Darnell called as he closed the screen door behind him. He peered up at the clouds as he joined Shane by the barbecue. “Think it’ll hold off long enough?”
Shane shrugged and put on three more patties. “Probably not. Guess we’ll find out.”
“Well, I guess we will, Mr. Philosophical.” He nudged Shane’s shoulder. “What’s up with you today? Why so dour?”
Keeping his gaze on the meat, Shane shrugged again. “No more so than usual.”
“Mmm-hmm. If you say so. I’ve been inviting you over all summer and you’ve never showed. I was shocked you actually read my text, let alone answered it and graced us with your presence.”
“Ha, ha.”
Darnell scoffed. “You think I’m kidding. Sometimes it’s weeks.” He held up his finger and thumb a fraction apart. “I’ll be thisclose to breaking into your apartment for a welfare check to make sure you aren’t being eaten by starving cats.”
“When have I ever had cats?”
“Right, because that was the point of my diatribe. Why don’t you go in and watch the game? I’m supposed to be doing the cooking. It’s my barbecue, after all.”
“I don’t mind. You’re the Orioles fan, D.”
“Uh-huh. And…?” Darnell’s eyebrows disappeared beneath his baseball cap.
Shane sighed. “Guess I’m not feeling particularly social. Should have stayed in bed.” But he hadn’t been able to, because God damn if he hadn’t woken up hard as a rock, thinking of Rafael Castillo and that kiss. God damn if he hadn’t thought about the kid all day, wondering what he was doing and if he was okay.
God damn if he wasn’t missing him.
“Well, I could have canceled and joined you.” Darnell winked.
That was exactly what Shane should have needed, but the thought left him shrugging again.
“I’ll try not to take your lack of enthusiasm personally. Okay, cough it up. Did something happen at work?”