“Thank you so much, but I had a big breakfast.”
Outside theater thirteen, which Rafa hoped wasn’t a bad omen, he waited with Shane while Alan did a sweep. The previews were already playing from the sounds of it, but Rafa didn’t mind missing them this time. All he could think about was Shane. He could have reached out and touched him, but instead kept his hands shoved in his chino pockets. Shane surveyed the lobby silently.
Alan appeared. “All clear.”
They walked inside up the slanted dark hallway to the stadium-style theater. As Rafa had guessed, there was hardly anyone at this morning weekday screening of the latest Superman movie that had come out more than a month ago. He and Ash had seen it in Charlottesville before she left for Paris. It had kind of sucked, but it didn’t matter.
An older man sat near the front, and a younger couple were huddled in the middle, giggling and kissing. They didn’t even glance up. Rafa went all the way to the top, and Alan murmured to Shane.
“I’ll take the front.” He went back down, taking a seat a few rows up from the entrance.
At the very back row, Rafa started toward the middle, stopping when Shane didn’t follow. He felt like he’d swallowed glass. “Are you coming?”
“I’ll stay on the aisle.”
Rafa stood there until Shane finally met his gaze. “Please? I really want to talk to you. And it’s not as if I can text you like a normal person.”
After a heartbeat that felt like an eternity, Shane nodded. He still left one seat between them as they sat. With the wall behind them, at least Rafa knew no one could eavesdrop. Shane murmured into his wrist, and then pressed against it. Turning off the mic, Rafa realized. He eyed the coiled clear plastic disappearing from Shane’s earpiece beneath his collar.
He decided to start with some small talk. “Why don’t you use wireless? I’ve always wondered.”
Shane kept his gaze forward. “Not reliable enough. Too much could go wrong. If my earpiece falls out, it’ll dangle and I won’t lose it. A bluetooth could be gone in an instant in a crowd. They’ve tested it all. The old radios are still the best. We can turn the mics off and on now. That helps cut down on chatter over the wire.”
The glass in Rafa’s throat was accompanied by gritty sand. Maybe he should have gotten a gallon-sized soda after all. “Oh. Cool. I’ve never thought about it. I don’t know why, since I’m surrounded by Secret Service agents.” He laughed weakly. A preview for the next Wonder Woman movie played, and he gathered his courage. “Um. I just wanted to… I’m so sorry for what I did. For kissing you.”
“You don’t have to be sorry. There’s really no need to discuss this. But…I’m sorry too.”
Does that mean he did want to kiss me back? “Okay. You didn’t tell anyone, right? I mean, I’m sure you didn’t. I just want to double check.”
Shane kept his gaze forward, looking left and right every so often. “Of course not. Besides, there was nothing to tell. It’s already forgotten.”
It shouldn’t have hurt, but damn it, it did. Rafa’s eyes burned. Do not even think about crying right now. Before he could stop himself, he blurted, “I can’t forget my first kiss.” Oh yes, this is helping. Way to go, genius. “I mean…not that it was a real kiss. I know you didn’t want it to happen, and I basically jumped you, which was really not cool. It was so wrong.” The movie was starting, and after the blare of the previews, it was suddenly very quiet. Even though there was no one in earshot, he whispered, “I just wanted…it’s hard. When Ashleigh’s not around, there’s no one I can talk to. Which is so not your problem. Anyway, I’m sorry. It won’t happen again. Any of it.”
Shane was silent as Superman hung around the Fortress of Solitude and looked mopey. “I know you must be lonely. Confused. It’s okay. You’ll be okay.”
“It’s not even that I’m confused. Just…so fucking sick of the closet. And…I like you. I’ve never felt like this about anyone. But that’s no excuse.”
Shane’s nostrils flared. “I…” His gaze darted around the theater. “You know this is not a thing that can ever happen.”
Rafa’s pulse fluttered. Did that mean that if things were different, Shane would actually want something to happen? Before he could summon the courage to ask, Shane went on.
“Stop beating yourself up,” he murmured in his low growl. “We’re good. Okay? I let the situation get out of hand. It won’t happen again, and I’m not upset.”
“You’re not?” Rafa watched the side of Shane’s face, light from the movie flickering over his skin. “Thanks. I really like talking to you. You’re cool.” He winced internally. He sounded like a dumb kid. But it seemed like Shane definitely had kissed him back, and not just out of instinct.